Dear Husband

In June 2003, I was shopping the tables at a Women of Faith concert in Washington, DC. Somehow I stumbled into the younger adult section and picked up a book package by Rebecca St. James called "Wait for Me". It was a cute book that came with a journal and I thought since I had made a commitment to wait for my husband, I'd give it a read. Little did I know, that purchase would impact my life in such an intimate way. You see, the journal was not just any journal. As I opened it, I realized it was full of blank pages to be filled with stories and details of my life to my future husband. At first I thought, "ugh, this is going to make me terribly lonely, writing all this out and no one to give it to." But the truth is, it has been one of the most enriching parts of my walk with God.

I sit down every so often and write a letter to my future husband. In that time, I get to open my heart to him, share my day with him, let him know how I am growing in Jesus Christ, share with him how I'm praying for him, tell him details about what makes me laugh, cry, angry, and joyous. Without planning every detail out myself of course, I get to share with him about details of our wedding, our honeymoon, our life together for what is ahead. Someday I hope to give this to him as a wedding present. I hope he cherishes it, values it, as it is the single most prized possession I could possibly own to my name (ok, aside from my actual bible!). It's years and years of my heart and life poured onto pages for his eyes only. He can know that I never forgot him, that I saved my body for him and also the intricacies of my heart. For me, this represents years of Valentine's Days as a single, Christmases, birthdays, graduations, friend's weddings, my spiritual intimacy with Christ, all my hopes, dreams, wishes for him and our family. It is me when I'm lonely, when I'm excited, when I long for the days to be the woman he comes home to each day, when I've had a long day, when I wish I could be the wife and a mother that I believe God has called me to be.

I pray this encourages you to know the spouse you choose is worth waiting for, and there is no telling what that journey looks like. We can't place God in a box to think we know exactly what that person will be like, whether they have blond hair or brunette hair, or are they black, yellow, red, or white - we do not know. One thing we can be sure of, it is their totally surrendered heart for Christ that matters above all and most of all. It is kind of exciting to not know what the future will hold, but we can also know it will be even more exciting when the veil is lifted and we are face to face with the person we are choosing to share our life with for our duration on this earth. It is God's purpose that this person be someone who helps us to be better ministers of His gospel, sharpens us, grows us, and helps us be a better lover of God. How boring and soul shattering would it be to marry someone who cannot come alive for Christ with you?

After some prayer, I've decided to include this ever so personal entry on my public blog.

Dear Hubby,

It is the night before Valentine's Day, and of course this turns my thoughts to you. I know you are out there, and I pray you feel my prayers. I wait patiently for you, and of course trust in God's timing. My prayer is for you to be encouraged, and know that I'm here too. Leaving the grocery store today, I saw hundreds of bouquets of flowers for tomorrow's anxious Valentine's Day shoppers. At first I was slightly sad thinking I would not be getting one from you this year, but immediately realized you were longing to give them to me too and became so thankful we are trusting God in this time. I will have you know, I will never take for granted a Valentine's Day bouquet of flowers from you. I even thought how lovely it would be to have an amazing meal cooked and prepared for you before you come home from work, and how fun it would be to put the fun touches in like candles, music, best plates and cutlery, a card letting you know how much I appreciate you and how much I respect you, and to just hold hands. This then got me thinking about how excited I am to learn what are your favorite foods, what would you say to me at dinner, would you laugh at my jokes, and would I be the kind of wife that would bring you praise at the city gate (Proverbs 31). My dear husband, I know there WILL be times we will fail each other, but I'm already praising God for having a God fearing husband who is devoted to loving me as Christ loves the church and gave Himself up for her. In turn, I hope to be the quiet and gentle spirit of a wife Peter talks about in his letters from the bible. I'm already praising God for developing you into the Godly man HE wants you to be, and for allowing me to be the woman of noble character in your life. I pray that I can make you feel like a king each day, with me as your beautiful queen by your side forever. I pray we minister to each other, which in turn makes us better ministers of His love together to everyone else who needs Jesus. Know that today you are valued, you are loved, you are respected, and I'm waiting for you. Know that today your wife is striving to treat you like a king by preserving my body and heart for you. I long to submit to your spiritual leadership, and to be guided by the Godly wisdom and leadership the Lord has given you. I'm proud of you!! He has prepared you, and He has prepared me. The Lord is my bridegroom and He will one day allow you to marry me, and I know that will be a joyous day for us both! With you looking dapper, and me in my beautiful white gown, all of our friends and family in attendance to celebrate, making a covenant before God, we will know it was worth the wait and I pray He is glorified. My husband, I am yours.
Happy Valentine's Day babe!

Love always,
Your wife