Who Told You That?

Some statistics for you, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons:

*In 2008, cosmetic surgery procedures increased 3% from 2007 (despite the economic downturn), a total of 12.1 million cosmetic procedures were performed. 91% of these procedures were females.
*From 2000 to 2008, the use of Botox increased 537%! (94% of Botox being used on women in the year 2008 alone)
*The number of breast augmentations increased 45% from the year 2000 to 2008.
*In 2008, 3% of breast augmentations performed were female patients between the ages of 18 and 19, while 30% were women ages 20-29, 35% were women 30-39, and 28% were women in the age bracket of 40-54.
*The number of tummy tuck (abdominoplasty) procedures increased 93% from the year 2000 to 2008.
*In 2008, 44% of patients who received cosmetic procedures were repeat patients.
*89% of liposuction procedures done in 2008 were female.
*Breast lifts for women increased 75% from the year 2000-2008, while buttock lifts increased 152% for women patients from 2000 to 2008.
*The top five cosmetic surgeries among women are (in order) breast augmentation (307,000), liposuction (218,000), nose reshaping (204,000), eyelid surgery (190,000), and tummy tuck (117,000).
*The top five cosmetic surgeries among men are (in order) nose reshaping (75,000), eyelid surgery (31,000), liposuction (27,000), breast reduction (18,000), hair transplantation (13,000).


What does this tell us? The screaming overwhelming response I collectively hear is: "I am not enough!" 

What these statistics also tell me, is that we - while 91% women and 9% men - find our worth in our ability to attract the opposite sex. In other words, we are letting our sex appeal determine our value, our worth, and letting it define who we are. To some, the concept of having "the perfect" appearance is an addition to the absolute package of having the right job, the right car, the right home, the right girl/guy, it's all impression management.

When I think of the billions of dollars spent ($10,293,431,401 in the year 2008 alone) spent on these procedures, is it any wonder where our idols are? Where we spend our time and our money determines our priorities, what are yours?

This all collectively makes me wonder where this powerful drive to become "enough" or have "the perfect" appearance originally comes from, to which the answer is quite simple: shame. Why are you so ashamed of your appearance that you feel you have to jump through unrealistic hoops? ....all to achieve what for yourself? (because it IS for yourself, whether you realize it or not)

What is shame?

According to www.dictionary.com, shame is:
the painful feeling arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable, improper, ridiculous, etc., done by oneself or another:

What does God say about shame? The first ever recorded feeling of shame was on the shoulders of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. We know this because after God created them and before the act of the Fall, they had no shame.

The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. - Genesis 2:25, NIV

After they ate the fruit, and the trespass on God's holiness had been committed, they became flooded with shame.

Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. - Genesis 3:7, NIV

....and when God called to Adam, he said....

"I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid. - Genesis 3:10, NIV

....and then God says to them.......

And he said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?" - Genesis 3:11, NIV (italics added)

You see, the enemy had revealed to them that they were naked. The enemy caused them to feel shame. The question God asks them, "who told you that you were naked?" reveals such Truth about who the author of shame is, about who the author of lies is, and also about who is the destroyer of feeling whole in God. It's Satan.

So the question I submit to you is this, who told you that you need plastic surgery? Who told you that you are overweight? Who told you that you are not enough? Who told you that you need to be perfect according to society? Who told you that you have to drive a luxury car? Who told you that you are not beautiful as you are? Who told you that you have to change your appearance? Who told you that you are not loved? Who told you that you are not holy? Who told you that you need to wear revealing clothes for attention?

It is not God our Father who told you any of that. God says you are beautiful.

The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord. - Psalm 45:11, NIV

God says you are fearfully and wonderfully made.....

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. - Psalm 139:14, NIV

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? - Matthew 6:25, NIV

The good news is, we serve a Father who has grace abounding so deep, we cannot even fathom. He knows our struggles, He knows our temptations, and He is offering grace for looking to anything else except Him for our worth. There is no shame in God our Father. He loves you, unconditionally, regardless of who you are, what you have done, or what your appearance may be. Thankfully, I did not go through with liposuction. I decided to give myself 6 months to think it over, to which I realized jumping through that hoop was not something God was calling me to do (not to mention going $6,000 in debt), it was something the enemy was pushing me to do to find my worth in approval or admiration of other's. You don't have jump through any hoops either. Our worth is in Christ, case closed.

I put this in human terms because you are weak in your natural selves. Just as you used to offer the parts of your body in slavery to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer them in slavery to righteousness leading to holiness. - Romans 6:19, NIV

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; - 1 Corinthians 6:19, NIV

Our bodies belong to God, all of ourselves, belong to God. We were bought with a price, the highest price, the sacrifice of the Son of God, came to die for us. I pray that we fully get that! You are precious to Him and to His kingdom. Friends, let's throw off those feelings of not being enough, throw off shame and feelings of imperfection, let's bask in God's grace knowing that we will never have to strive to be something we are not as long as we seek God for our worth and our identity. He knows us better than we know ourselves, thankfully! Jump into His arms and know that you will never have exhaust yourself for acceptance, approval, love, or success, as He so freely gives us love and grace. Choose Him! :-) Praying for you!! You can do this!

<><
Kay

Choose Me. Love Me.

Some of you may know that I am sort of a "recovering" Grey's Anatomy fan, that's right, I said it. I used to clear my schedule every Thursday night for a couple of years to catch my favorite "surgeons" in action on what I affectionately call, Grey's. Not only would I rush home from whatever I was doing to watch on Thursdays, but I would buy the entire season once it was over so I could relive my favorite episodes. Those who know me well, know that I could generally care less about watching TV at all, but Grey's Anatomy sucked me in to following the lives of Seattle's favorite intern surgeons. However, I started to realize the focus of the show became more about Meredith's sex life, so I lost interest and stopped watching. In fact, I couldn't even tell you what is going on in the show today - and as I write this, it is indeed a Thursday night! BUT...... something Meredith said towards the end of season 2, stuck with me when she was wrestling with her feelings for Derek.

"Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me." - Meredith Grey

Why was she saying this? Because she wanted to be chosen. And who, on this side of Eden, doesn't want to be chosen? Who would refuse that crazy drop-everything-your-doing-and-drive-to-Paris-in-the-rain kind of love? The kind where your friends notice that there is something different about you and it is not your hair or weight. Who doesn't want to be chosen to receive the kind of love you would want to run a marathon in 5 inch high heels for? The truth of the matter is, we all want to be chosen by someone.

Perhaps after Meredith said that, deep in her heart she hoped and wanted to hear the response, "You know, I choose you. I love you." How do you think she would react? How would you react if you were her?

Well, truth of it is, if you choose to follow Christ, you get to hear that EVERY day! What an incredible blessing that is! Every day we can wake up and know He loves us, He chooses us. And you know what else? His love is SO much bigger than the, "pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window," kind of love. His love is SO big, He sent His only Son to die, a torturous death on a wooden cross because He loved us so very much. I don't know about you, but I'd take that over cheesecake, taste in music, and a song on the radio any day. In fact, I almost feel unworthy of a love that big, and to accept His incredible love, moves my heart and brings tears to my eyes.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. - 1 Peter 2:9, NIV

You may be reading this, wondering, "How do I know if *I* am chosen by God?" Well, I can tell you, if you choose Him, He chooses YOU! (John McArthur - commentary of Ephesians) Without getting into the whole free will versus predestination topic, its simple to say, He loves us. He chooses us. His word reassures us of that, so that by His grace we are saved.

For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake. -- 1 Thessalonians 1:4-5, NIV

The longing we all have to be chosen can officially subside, knowing we have been chosen by an amazing, all mighty Creator. He pursues us to win our hearts. When we walk in that kind of love, everything will be different. Much like being in love or being chosen by a romantic partner, so is similar as that of being in love with God. You can't stop thinking about Him! You want to be with Him! You want to sing songs about Him, write about Him, talk about Him, tell all your friends about Him, introduce Him to your family, invite Him to all events in your life, call Him to share your day with Him, you want to share your life with Him! Friends, this how our love life with God might look like if we fall into that kind of love with God! He already chose us, to love us, and has proven that by sending His only Son to die on the cross for us! Why not shout about His love from the roof tops?! Why not tell everyone how in love you are with our Creator?! How much fun would that be!

Of course, some folks out there may not understand this, because they do not know Him like you do. You see, the more anyone comes to know Him, the more they will see His incredible love and grace - the big love and grace He has for them too! We simply cannot settle for knowing about God, or having knowledge about God, we must get know God - His character, His love, what He hates, what He loves, what He says, what breaks His heart, all this we get to know as we come to know someone we are head over heels in love with. When someone truly comes to know God, they will know how much He loves them too.

"A little knowledge of God is worth more than a great deal of knowledge about Him." - J.I. Packer, Knowing God

I pray that you will join me in accepting God's love. You are loved, by the King of Kings. You are chosen, by our Creator. Isn't that enough to throw off the shackles of your old life and embrace His life-changing love? Accept that you are chosen, a child of His kingdom. You are precious to Him.

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. - 3 John 1:4, NIV

The truth is that He loves us, His grace is more than enough, and no matter what sin we have committed - we are forgiven as long as we ask Him. Dear friends, I pray that you will know just how loved you are by God. We all have this deep longing to be chosen, to be loved - well, we are chosen, and we are loved - by a tireless, loving God! I pray that knowing you are chosen by Him, and knowing that you are loved will penetrate your heart. I pray that realizing how wide and deep His love and grace are for you will cause you to shout from the mountain tops about how in love Him you are! His love is more than worth telling everyone! ...and you are more than worth His amazing love and grace!

<><
Kay

"Born Again"

Hey y'all!

You may have heard this song already, but this song totally reminds me of his undeniable loving grace! :-) I thought it was beautiful.......
<><
KB

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Fw9EDKGHTU&feature=related

"Born Again"by Third Day

Today I found myselfAfter searching all these years
And the man that I saw, he wasn't at all who I thought he'd be
I was lost when you found me hereAnd I was broken beyond repair
Then you came along and you sang your song over me

It feels like I'm born again
It feels like I'm living
For the very first time
For the very first time
In my life

Make a promise to me now
Reassure my heart somehow
That the love that I feel is so much more real than anything
I've a feeling in my soul
And I pray that I'm not wrong
That the life I have now, it is only the beginning

It feels like I'm born again
It feels like I'm living
For the very first time
For the very first time
It feels like I'm breathing
It feels like I'm moving
For the very first time
For the very first time

I wasn't looking for something that was more
Than what I had yesterday
Then you came to me and you gave to me
Life and a love that I've never known
That I've never felt before

It feels like I'm born again
It feels like I'm living
For the very first time
I'm living for the first time
It feels like I'm breathing
It feels like I'm moving
For the very first time
I'm living for the first time
In my life

Perfection.

"Perfection."

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear that word? Is it flawlessness? Something or someone without fault or blemish? Or perhaps it is a feeling, maybe one of accomplishment? Or you are feeling exhausted just be reading that word?

When we look at the definition of the word "perfect" at http://www.dictionary.com/, we find this:

per·fect [adj., n. pur-fikt; v. per-fekt]
- excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement:
- entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings:
- accurate, exact, or correct in every detail:
- pure or unmixed:
- expert; accomplished; proficient.

I don't know about you, but just reading that makes me feel exhausted. Why? Well, that's quite simple actually. You see, I am a recovering perfectionist. There I said it, my secret is out, I am not perfect. That's right. Sound the alarms, alert the media, buy a newspaper tomorrow, exhale - I fall miserably short of being perfect.

This realization, of not being perfect, is one I have known throughout my whole life, but my fear throughout my whole life was that other people would find out that I am not perfect. Have you ever felt that way? If you aren't sure, I can break down what that thinking looks like, you might think this:

"Wow, I've got a lot of baggage, but as long as I go above and beyond in everything else, everyone else will think I've got it all together."

"I've made some serious mistakes, but if I just act like everything is great and only talk about my accomplishments, everyone will think I'm absolutely perfect."

"Hey, I check off all the major boxes of someone who society thinks is perfect, and I've had to work hard at it. So everyone will think I'm perfect as long as I have the right job, date the right person, drive the right car, live in the right area, etc."

"It doesn't matter what is going on in my life, I've got it all together and everyone will realize that as long as I don't share the bad stuff."

"If I'm not perfect, no one will accept me or love me."

"I have to be perfect in order to be successful in every area of my life." (which goes into vicious cycle of, "I have to be successful in every area of my life in order to be perfect.....")

"No one can know that anything bothers me, I will wear a mask so everyone thinks my life is perfect."

Of course, the list goes on, but these are just a few statements of incredibly unhealthy thinking. My friends, we are incapable of being perfect. Why? Because only Jesus, the living Son of God, can be perfect - and we cannot take His place. If we could take His place, we wouldn't need a Savior, and the truth is we radically need a Savior. Do you have any idea how deep and wide that kind of love is for us? While we are sinners, such imperfect, sin-stained beings, He came for us.....HE CAME FOR US!

Now, this does not exclude what we are called to do as followers of Christ. As followers of Christ, we are called "to be" perfect. Be careful, there is a distinct difference in language there. The call to be perfect, and the actuality of being perfect are different. Here's a verse:

Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. - Matthew 5:48, NASB

In other words, we are to be like our heavenly Father. We are to be Christ-like. Christ was perfect, faultless, sinless, flawless, pure - and we are to strive to be like Him. Now, it is easy to get caught in the thinking that if we remotely fail at that, we are immediately disqualified for some kind of cosmic prize somewhere in the universe of life. The truth we must hold fast to is this, we are going to fail at being perfect. Yep, there you go, take your breath of relief. But this should not discourage us from striving to live Christ-like lives.

You see, the main drive in wanting to be perfect, wanting to be Christ-like, isn't so everyone else can think we have it together or give us their approval, or acceptance......no, our main drive in wanting to be perfect, in wanting to be Christ-like should be our deep, unabashed, tireless LOVE for Jesus Christ. Point blank. The love we receive from our Savior, and the love we have in return, is the kind of love that moves mountains. It is the kind of love that can radically change lives, bring hope to the hopeless, find the lost. That kind of love changes circumstances, opens doors and closes doors that need to be closed. So our intent on being Christ-like will be fulfilling if it is for Him, however, if our intent on being Christ-like is for others approval, we will almost always end up on the hamster wheel of "not being enough" type of thinking. That sort of treadmill of "no matter what I do, its never enough and I can never be perfect" type, and the reality is that we are not to strive for human approval - you will exhaust yourself. When we strive for Christ's approval in being like Him, He will love us even if we fail miserably. Wow, what kind of incredible grace is that?!

We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are. - Acts 15:11, NIV (italics added)

How about that! "Just as they are" - we are saved. You don't have to work for it, you don't have to exhaust yourself, you don't have to be on the hamster wheel of trying to achieve perfection. Jesus Christ is there to accept you, save you through His incredible grace, JUST AS YOU ARE.

We want to be perfect, we want to be Christ-like because we love Him, and not because we want others to think more highly of us, or to think we have it all together.

In my own personal life, I have spent the majority of my life believing the lie that I had to be perfect, even though I without a doubt - knew that I was anything but perfect. I believed that if I was not perfect, than I would be disqualified of having love, acceptance, and approval from anyone. So I became a slave to earning everyone's approval. I wanted to be the best that anyone had ever seen, at everything, because if I wasn't, people would find out the truth about me not being perfect. And if I wasn't perfect, they'd focus on my flaws and then I wouldn't be loved or accepted. Being the best at everything sounded like a fool-proof way to guarantee that I would always be desired, accepted, loved, and always have approval from others. Sounds kind of miserable, huh? I can tell you that it was only miserable when you weren't winning or achieving. My worth became based on what everyone else thought of me and how well I performed at everything from sports to career and from relationships to academics. Yet, I professed to be a follower of Jesus Christ! When I failed to be perfect at anything or failed to have someone's approval, I would carry around such tremendous shame. How incredibly prideful is that?! Not only thinking that I can control what others think of me, but also extreme fear that anyone would find out that my life is less than perfect.

After a while, God brought my life crashing down around me in a variety of ways (way too many to list). Though it was the most humbling moment of my life and utter brokenness, God showed me that I needed Him to tell me who I was and how much I'm worth, instead of anything and everyone else. Striving to be like Christ and failing at that, while knowing He loves me anyway, offers absolutely True freedom. Furthermore, we are to mirror that love and extend the same grace we receive to others. Our family members and friends are not Jesus, so practicing forgivenness and grace is necessary for us to receive it. And for those of us who are single, we cannot marry Jesus, so grace is also required in the dating process. Any human being will always let us down at some point, but Christ will not - He is our rock. Striving to be like Him and practicing forgivenness and grace in His love helps to refine us in becoming more Holy.

My friends, today I want you to realize that you have true freedom in Christ. While we will fail to be perfect, He still loves us with so much love that is incomprehensible. You do not have to earn God's love, He offers it freely to you - JUST AS YOU ARE. I pray that you will realize you do not have to be perfect by the world's standards to be loved and accepted. God made us, so let Him tell you how worth it you are. C.S. Lewis once said,

"Christ died for men precisely because men are not worth dying for; to make them worth it." - C.S. Lewis, The World's Last Night

....you are worth it. He died for you. Believe that you are lovable just as you are, take a deep breath and rest in that. I am praying that you feel His love all around you. Don't let another minute go by where you feel you have to work for someone's approval to determine your worth. Don't let another minute go by hanging on achievement or accomplishment to reassure yourself that you are worth it, you are worth the love of our Savior without ever having achieved any medal, trophy, job, award, scholarship, prize, money, anything. Let God's love affirm that you are worth it. Let Him, the one who made us, tell you who you are, and no one else.

I am praying for you my dear friends, and I pray that you throw off the chains of perfectionism. It's not easy, it is not ever easy, but it is so worth it. I wish I could say I have never dealt with insecurities of perfectionism again in my life, but that would not be true. However, I do know how to overcome and step off that old hamster wheel of perfectionism now, and that is through Christ's love. You can do this. Step out, take off the mask, and let Him mold you into being more like Him. You won't regret it, you'll only regret not striving to be like Him. He loves you so much!

Your sister in Christ,
Kay