I'm alive. It's true. I know I haven't written in a while, but all in God's timing, right? This isn't a blog I use to write in just so my friends and family have something to read, but it is a way for me to use the spiritual gifts God has given me for His glory. Period. I don't write to keep a "following" but only in hopes that God uses it to bring people closer to Him through my journey with Him.
That being said, the last 8 weeks or so have been a whirlwind - in a good way. I now live in the Washington, DC area! Why? Well, it's an even longer story, but I will attempt to appease you with this explanation: God put me here. Plain and simple. I had always had a feeling God would bring me back here (I lived and worked here in 2005-2006), but didn't think it would be until much later on in life. I had my plan of going to a mission field for 2+ years, gaining some foreign language skills, having the time of my life, and then finally "settle" back in the DC area. Well, much like most of MY plans, God throws them out the window and gives me His. And to be honest, His are always much better. During this whirlwind, I started to doubt Him and whether or not my God would really call such an "unplanned" decision. A friend of mine gave me some great wisdom and said, "Kristina, God's timing isn't always about waiting on Him, sometimes it's about moving when He says move - even if it's sooner than you think." My friend was right. So here I am, each detail worked out for His glory.
Being back has provoked a lot of different thoughts and emotions. For one, it has made me realize how much I've grown in my walk with the Lord over the last few years. I've realized how much more I trust Him now, and how little I trusted Him back then. Lord, forgive me for not trusting you and taking your word to heart more than I could have. With all the surrounding nostalgia, I take no friendship for granted. I've learned God brings some people into your life for a season - for His purpose, and He can choose to take them out of your life - for His purpose also. I've learned that prestige and labels once held a higher place in my life, almost as an idol, which God thankfully removed. I now care less about the haughty surrounding of who knows who (even a temptation in ministry circles also), what you have done, where you have been, or how much money you bring in or donate. What matters is: how are you choosing to love God? He has already proven His love for you on a Cross, so how are you loving Him in return? Trust me, I'm asking myself these same questions as I write them.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. - Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, NIV
While sometimes in the storm of God changing everything around in our lives (and moving people in and out of our lives), it can be difficult to focus. Focus on what? It may be difficult to focus on anything other than how we are feeling. Well, it's not about us. Plain and simple, it may be difficult to focus on Him. I could say, "it may be difficult to focus on your job" or your direction, or a host of other things of no eternal value. However, I struggle to think we should focus on anything but Him. He is the prize. He is what we long for, our living God is the only thing we need through each time we live through. Times are temporary, and so are storms of life. What time are you in right now?
In this time, I have a job I love; a great, affordable place to live; some great girlfriends; supportive family; and above all, a Savior who is crazy about me. So, what's missing? Nothing. Even as I write that, it's difficult to push out the words because I do desire to get married one day, it is still a want. However, everything is considered a loss in comparison to the Cross. I want to live this out. My dreams, my wants, my stuff (tangible and intangible), everything - it's all His. When I became a new creation, all things of mine are gone. I give up the old life, for the new one. It is in this grace which I choose to live. This is a reality each and every day God gives me, His mercies are new everyday. While He gives me desires, I submit them to His ultimate authority which brings peace surpassing understanding.
What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ, - Philippians 3:8, NIV
Anyhow, I encourage you to pray about what season God has you in, and what HE is saying to you. Focus on His voice, and not the voice of 19 other friends around you - which can create confusion. Faith seems foolish at times (just ask Noah or Moses!), and trust in what He is telling you. I encourage you to pray about what it means to give up ALL things for Jesus Christ (as I'm in the process of praying as well). You are not alone in this journey, He is with you - every step of the way. Praying for you as you read this!
In Him,
Kristina
Monday, October 18, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Haiti: Summing It Up
Well, I'm sure you've realized by now, we didn't have a stable internet connection for the remainder of the trip. Hence, I'm updating you now with a summary of the rest of our time in Haiti. At least now you are aware that we made it home safe and sound.
The last two days of the trip, we went to tent cities. Two tent cities, with two very different experiences. The first one, started off well and good. We had brought beans and rice to give to the families, and the idea was to pray with them in their tent before presenting the food. Well, we were also to play with the kids before also, which was going great! After part of the team went back to get more supplies for the kids, they went bonkers over the new supplies. Keep in mind, most of these people have probably never even seen a new package of markers or crayons in their life. Since that was the case, we had to ask the families to line up at our SUV to distribute food. Evidently, this was a tent city who had not received any food or care since the earthquake, so this was all new to them. Matt stood on top of the SUV with an interpreter trying to explain the process to people. We began handing out bags of food and it was going better than handing out the school supplies! When the food was nearing an end in supply, we hopped on top (literally on the roof) of the SUV to drive away. For some on the team, it was a challenge wondering if we had really made a difference. However, we did what God had called us to do, and that was be His hands and feet - regardless of the reaction of others.
That night, we had the blessing of hearing a testimony from one of the kids at the orphanage. We thought, so often, teams travel on missions to tell about themselves - to share their own personal testimony. We wanted to change that. So, we asked the kids who wanted to share? A 17 year old boy named Fred stood up, and shared his story. It was amazing. Most of these kids don't have the opportunity to share their own story with missionaries, because most missionaries become so focused on giving their testimony. He shared about growing up in the distant mountains of Haiti, then said his Mom became sick and died. He mentioned he was near death as well, and then he was rescued by some nurses on a medical mission team. He gave his life to Christ in 2001, and thanks God every day because he said Jesus allowed him to live. This fine young man is an outstanding soccer and basketball player, and has hopes to get a job where he can provide for himself. He also loves engineering, and has a contagious smile with a huge heart for God. Fred doesn't have numerous spiritual mentors or men he can look up to as a Dad, he only has Jesus. And Fred is just one, but there are tons more like him. This precious soul, has a purpose for God's kingdom, who could have easily died of malnutrition and disease but was saved. Who is God using you to help save?
The last day, we went to a tent city near the mountains on the outskirts of Port-Au-Prince. These people were calm, gracious, and many were suffering. I learned something I never thought I would learn in my lifetime - and that was how to tell if a child has malnutrition. We began looking for thinning, orange-ish hair, sunken eyes, round bellies full of worms, rickets on their legs....to our discouragement, we did find a number of children who fit the description. We had sent up a clinic in a UNICEF tent, where Suzi was working on a number of patients with some Christian nurses from Canada. When they would come out of the clinic, Karen, Eric, Ty, Jenny, and Jenifer would be standing there to give them their very first toy! (This was a very fun job!) There were all kinds of adorable stuffed animals, and then we'd have someone pray for them. Now, this really spoke to me....after they'd receive the stuffed animal, someone would said, "Priye?" (meaning, "Pray?") and these people would immediately drop to their knees. Do you see that? This is how they live life. On their knees. Two entirely separate cultures, ONE God who hears them both. How hesitant are we to live life on our knees? What do we usually go to before going to God? I found myself being envious of them in a way, often times I'm too distracted to get on my knees FIRST. God really spoke to me in that.
As we drove away that day, myself and Nanette sat on top (yes, on top of the big truck - like on the roof) of the big truck, just overlooking all the tent cities on the countryside and just how incredibly beautiful Haiti really is despite the poverty. It's gorgeous! I thought to myself, "I could do this every day of my life....it is a blessing to be here!" Then I got to thinking about the name, "Haiti" and as most of you may know, the word - "Haiti" - literally means, "Hell". We were in "hell" effectively. It's a long story as to how it got that name, but the country is ravaged with VooDoo practices and Satanic worship. (It wasn't out of the ordinary to see the words, "Aba Satan" written on a wall in graffiti through town) The need in Haiti is overwhelming, and my next thought was this: "If Haiti in fact means hell, I'd rather spend a lifetime in hell if it means I get to spend eternity in Heaven."
As a result of the trip, many of us are now praying about going back to Haiti for an extended period of time. As for myself, I'm praying about going back indefinitely. Furthermore, every single person on the team wants to go back, and we are currently planning to do so. To add, Matt and Jess are praying their way through the adoption process of a baby Haitian orphan they met and fell in love with, named Kevin. If you could lift up Matt and Jess (and yes, Kevin too!) in your prayers, it would be more than a blessing. Moreover, I would ask you to pray for us, those of us on the team experiencing intense spiritual warfare since coming home. Many of us feel like we are still in Haiti, part of our heart is still there - and may always will be. Please pray for God to pave the way for us to go back should it be His will, and to give us wisdom and direction on how we can better serve Him each time we are there. Finally, I ask that you pray for Haiti. I ask that you pray about going to Haiti yourself, to hold a child, to give a child his/her first toy, to give a desperate mother a bag of food, to pray with a family. I ask you to drop to your knees for Haiti, for these people, they are people just like you and me. They are our brothers and sisters, and let's stand in the gap for them.
Thank you for taking this journey with us! You are a blessing beyond words can say! The power of prayer is not in the one who prays, but in the One who hears you. Love you much!
In Him,
Kristina
The last two days of the trip, we went to tent cities. Two tent cities, with two very different experiences. The first one, started off well and good. We had brought beans and rice to give to the families, and the idea was to pray with them in their tent before presenting the food. Well, we were also to play with the kids before also, which was going great! After part of the team went back to get more supplies for the kids, they went bonkers over the new supplies. Keep in mind, most of these people have probably never even seen a new package of markers or crayons in their life. Since that was the case, we had to ask the families to line up at our SUV to distribute food. Evidently, this was a tent city who had not received any food or care since the earthquake, so this was all new to them. Matt stood on top of the SUV with an interpreter trying to explain the process to people. We began handing out bags of food and it was going better than handing out the school supplies! When the food was nearing an end in supply, we hopped on top (literally on the roof) of the SUV to drive away. For some on the team, it was a challenge wondering if we had really made a difference. However, we did what God had called us to do, and that was be His hands and feet - regardless of the reaction of others.
That night, we had the blessing of hearing a testimony from one of the kids at the orphanage. We thought, so often, teams travel on missions to tell about themselves - to share their own personal testimony. We wanted to change that. So, we asked the kids who wanted to share? A 17 year old boy named Fred stood up, and shared his story. It was amazing. Most of these kids don't have the opportunity to share their own story with missionaries, because most missionaries become so focused on giving their testimony. He shared about growing up in the distant mountains of Haiti, then said his Mom became sick and died. He mentioned he was near death as well, and then he was rescued by some nurses on a medical mission team. He gave his life to Christ in 2001, and thanks God every day because he said Jesus allowed him to live. This fine young man is an outstanding soccer and basketball player, and has hopes to get a job where he can provide for himself. He also loves engineering, and has a contagious smile with a huge heart for God. Fred doesn't have numerous spiritual mentors or men he can look up to as a Dad, he only has Jesus. And Fred is just one, but there are tons more like him. This precious soul, has a purpose for God's kingdom, who could have easily died of malnutrition and disease but was saved. Who is God using you to help save?
The last day, we went to a tent city near the mountains on the outskirts of Port-Au-Prince. These people were calm, gracious, and many were suffering. I learned something I never thought I would learn in my lifetime - and that was how to tell if a child has malnutrition. We began looking for thinning, orange-ish hair, sunken eyes, round bellies full of worms, rickets on their legs....to our discouragement, we did find a number of children who fit the description. We had sent up a clinic in a UNICEF tent, where Suzi was working on a number of patients with some Christian nurses from Canada. When they would come out of the clinic, Karen, Eric, Ty, Jenny, and Jenifer would be standing there to give them their very first toy! (This was a very fun job!) There were all kinds of adorable stuffed animals, and then we'd have someone pray for them. Now, this really spoke to me....after they'd receive the stuffed animal, someone would said, "Priye?" (meaning, "Pray?") and these people would immediately drop to their knees. Do you see that? This is how they live life. On their knees. Two entirely separate cultures, ONE God who hears them both. How hesitant are we to live life on our knees? What do we usually go to before going to God? I found myself being envious of them in a way, often times I'm too distracted to get on my knees FIRST. God really spoke to me in that.
As we drove away that day, myself and Nanette sat on top (yes, on top of the big truck - like on the roof) of the big truck, just overlooking all the tent cities on the countryside and just how incredibly beautiful Haiti really is despite the poverty. It's gorgeous! I thought to myself, "I could do this every day of my life....it is a blessing to be here!" Then I got to thinking about the name, "Haiti" and as most of you may know, the word - "Haiti" - literally means, "Hell". We were in "hell" effectively. It's a long story as to how it got that name, but the country is ravaged with VooDoo practices and Satanic worship. (It wasn't out of the ordinary to see the words, "Aba Satan" written on a wall in graffiti through town) The need in Haiti is overwhelming, and my next thought was this: "If Haiti in fact means hell, I'd rather spend a lifetime in hell if it means I get to spend eternity in Heaven."
As a result of the trip, many of us are now praying about going back to Haiti for an extended period of time. As for myself, I'm praying about going back indefinitely. Furthermore, every single person on the team wants to go back, and we are currently planning to do so. To add, Matt and Jess are praying their way through the adoption process of a baby Haitian orphan they met and fell in love with, named Kevin. If you could lift up Matt and Jess (and yes, Kevin too!) in your prayers, it would be more than a blessing. Moreover, I would ask you to pray for us, those of us on the team experiencing intense spiritual warfare since coming home. Many of us feel like we are still in Haiti, part of our heart is still there - and may always will be. Please pray for God to pave the way for us to go back should it be His will, and to give us wisdom and direction on how we can better serve Him each time we are there. Finally, I ask that you pray for Haiti. I ask that you pray about going to Haiti yourself, to hold a child, to give a child his/her first toy, to give a desperate mother a bag of food, to pray with a family. I ask you to drop to your knees for Haiti, for these people, they are people just like you and me. They are our brothers and sisters, and let's stand in the gap for them.
Thank you for taking this journey with us! You are a blessing beyond words can say! The power of prayer is not in the one who prays, but in the One who hears you. Love you much!
In Him,
Kristina
Friday, August 13, 2010
Haiti: Day 2
Bonjour!
God is so big, so very big. So much bigger than we could ever imagine, truly. Today was quite the day for our team, as we are concluding the day as we speak. I say that God is so much bigger than we can possibly fathom because never in my wildest dreams could I think of what He is doing in and through our team at this very moment. He amazes me. Every word spoken, every action, every laugh, every smile, every hug, every encouragement....God is so huge.
Today we began the morning with a great breakfast made by the orphanage, then Matt gave a message concerning Ephesians 6 - spiritual armor. Shortly thereafter, we boarded a bus and headed into Soleil, the slums of Port-Au-Prince, and also through downtown Port Au Prince. The slums were still as I remembered, dirty, nasty, disgusting, horrible, filthy, dark, and inhumane. The stench was still as strong as ever from miles away, and unforgettable. With jaws dropping throughout the bus, hearts breaking for what break's God's heart, we trudged through into the business district of Port-Au-Prince. Wait, let me back up here for those of you who have not been here before.....think of the scenes from Slumdog Millionaire, take away adequate food supply, and imagine sheet metal tied together with strings or held up by wooden sticks - THAT is a glimpse of what the slums are like here. Loads of trash lining the streets, children begging and looking for food in the gutters of trash, pigs looking for the same trash defecating in the trash heaps as children dig through it for food. This is what we saw today.
In downtown Port-Au-Prince, we saw some of the earthquake devastation. Loads of buildings toppled and pancaked to the ground, which once held dreams of business owners and people with hopes to provide for their families. Gone. Fell to the earth with still THOUSANDS of bodies still under the ruble, and most likely will be for a long while until people can pay to remove and rebuild. Can you imagine for a moment, wondering if your loved one - your Mom or Dad, brother or sister, son or daughter - their body was still under the ruble?
There is a small child here, his name is Kevin. Kevin lost his Mom in the earthquake and his father ultimately decided he didn't want him. Kevin is 3 months old and now lives here at the orphanage. He didn't chose to be here, but these are the cards he was dealt. For these few days, we are his family and we are his parents. Matt and Jess have fallen in love with this child. He is so amazing, so beautiful, so joyful, so loving. What will happen to Kevin when we leave? Can you make a difference for Kevin? What will happen to Kevin when he is 18 years old? These are questions we have been asking ourselves the last 12 hours. To say our team has been impacted is an understatement. God is showing us so much here, so much of how HE chooses to use us, instead of how we want to be used by Him. He is showing us how big and mighty He is, and how He has picked each of us to be here for His glory.
Tonight before we met as a team, just after our amazing dinner, we walked over to the kids multi-purpose area where we saw them watching a Michael W. Smith DVD and singing "Mighty To Save" of all songs! :-) It was one of the most beautiful sounds a person could ever hear, their little voices shouting praise to our Savior - knowing every word. There is no greater blessing.....
We feel your prayers here! Please continue! :-) The emails I receive in return, I've been sharing with the team. Thank you so much for being our prayer warriors, it is MUCH appreciated. I will close tonight with this: will you go for God? Will you stand in the gap for Him? Are you willing to love Kevin for Jesus Christ?
To Make Him Known,
Kristina
God is so big, so very big. So much bigger than we could ever imagine, truly. Today was quite the day for our team, as we are concluding the day as we speak. I say that God is so much bigger than we can possibly fathom because never in my wildest dreams could I think of what He is doing in and through our team at this very moment. He amazes me. Every word spoken, every action, every laugh, every smile, every hug, every encouragement....God is so huge.
Today we began the morning with a great breakfast made by the orphanage, then Matt gave a message concerning Ephesians 6 - spiritual armor. Shortly thereafter, we boarded a bus and headed into Soleil, the slums of Port-Au-Prince, and also through downtown Port Au Prince. The slums were still as I remembered, dirty, nasty, disgusting, horrible, filthy, dark, and inhumane. The stench was still as strong as ever from miles away, and unforgettable. With jaws dropping throughout the bus, hearts breaking for what break's God's heart, we trudged through into the business district of Port-Au-Prince. Wait, let me back up here for those of you who have not been here before.....think of the scenes from Slumdog Millionaire, take away adequate food supply, and imagine sheet metal tied together with strings or held up by wooden sticks - THAT is a glimpse of what the slums are like here. Loads of trash lining the streets, children begging and looking for food in the gutters of trash, pigs looking for the same trash defecating in the trash heaps as children dig through it for food. This is what we saw today.
In downtown Port-Au-Prince, we saw some of the earthquake devastation. Loads of buildings toppled and pancaked to the ground, which once held dreams of business owners and people with hopes to provide for their families. Gone. Fell to the earth with still THOUSANDS of bodies still under the ruble, and most likely will be for a long while until people can pay to remove and rebuild. Can you imagine for a moment, wondering if your loved one - your Mom or Dad, brother or sister, son or daughter - their body was still under the ruble?
There is a small child here, his name is Kevin. Kevin lost his Mom in the earthquake and his father ultimately decided he didn't want him. Kevin is 3 months old and now lives here at the orphanage. He didn't chose to be here, but these are the cards he was dealt. For these few days, we are his family and we are his parents. Matt and Jess have fallen in love with this child. He is so amazing, so beautiful, so joyful, so loving. What will happen to Kevin when we leave? Can you make a difference for Kevin? What will happen to Kevin when he is 18 years old? These are questions we have been asking ourselves the last 12 hours. To say our team has been impacted is an understatement. God is showing us so much here, so much of how HE chooses to use us, instead of how we want to be used by Him. He is showing us how big and mighty He is, and how He has picked each of us to be here for His glory.
Tonight before we met as a team, just after our amazing dinner, we walked over to the kids multi-purpose area where we saw them watching a Michael W. Smith DVD and singing "Mighty To Save" of all songs! :-) It was one of the most beautiful sounds a person could ever hear, their little voices shouting praise to our Savior - knowing every word. There is no greater blessing.....
We feel your prayers here! Please continue! :-) The emails I receive in return, I've been sharing with the team. Thank you so much for being our prayer warriors, it is MUCH appreciated. I will close tonight with this: will you go for God? Will you stand in the gap for Him? Are you willing to love Kevin for Jesus Christ?
To Make Him Known,
Kristina
Haiti: Day 1
Hey brothers and sisters!
SO....it was a LONG first day, but an amazing one! As some of you know, our journey began at 4 AM in the morning yesterday as we met at the church to go to the airport. We arrived safe and sound, after many locals tried to "help" us with our bags - we were heckled, but made it here safely ready to go!
The flooding here has been a force to reckon with, as half our team is sleeping in the church and half are in tents. Don't be fooled though, sleeping in the church is not like sleeping in a church back home in the US. The folks sleeping in the church are on concrete ground (think 4 concrete walls with a tin roof), while rats run about the rafters. Jesse and I screamed last night when we saw one the size of a cat scampering across the roof! Everyone thought this was hilarious, but it gave us the creeps! Ha!
Everyone has LOVED playing with the kids and meeting the children. Yesterday afternoon, we were all sitting around listening to a man from the Dominican Republic play worship music (he was from another team here), then Matt grabbed his guitar and joined in. They started playing the song "Mighty To Save" and then we looked around, and all the orphans in the compound were singing it too....in English! Praise God! There wasn't a dry eye under the gazebo as we played and sang the song for our Lord's glory! It was so sweet that the orphans came running to sit on our laps, many of them fell asleep because they had been playing with us all day. Such an incredibly sweet moment to have a precious Haitian orphan fall asleep in your arms while singing the song, "Mighty To Save", isn't it?!
Last night we had a devotional time with the kids, which was so fun, but also more serious at the same time. Justin shared his testimony with the kids, which was seriously awesome. So many of them think our lives are perfect, no problems. In their minds, we have food, we have parents, we have education, clean water, we know where we are going to wake up tomorrow - they do not have this luxury. So, Justin sharing his testimony about not having a father figure, and coming from an abusive home, REALLY connected with the kids. The older boys in the back of the room were glued to his story. It was awesome. The men on the team also did a skit on David and Goliath, which was SO funny! Kendall played an award winning role as a sheep, while Eric (aka "David"), tended to the sheep. Chris was "Goliath" and did a great job! The kids loved it! We also sang songs, and Jenifer Smith shared her testimony at the end. Amazing night!
It has been so heart warming to see a different side of everyone. Just rolling around and playing with orphans all day, it never gets old, not for one second. Nanette and Dana have also connected with many of the kids, carrying around orphans with cerebal palsy. As some of you may know, the majority of these kids have special needs. Dozens with hydrocephalaus, many with mental illnesses, at least 20 in wheelchairs. So when they get the opportunity to have fun, it warms their hearts for God - and let's them know, God has not forgotten them. Many of these kids are considered outcasts and were not wanted by their families because they "had issues" and could not be cared for, or their parents died. They are so hungry for love, and the need is huge.
One child, Wentzi, I was able to reconnect with after being here last time. He is doing great! He is smiling and playing! Wentzi was "5 weeks away from death" and had severe malnutrition and tuberculosis, no parents leaving him an orphan. He's a little shy, but has a huge heart! Watching him sing "Mighty To Save" was more than a blessing, it changes it my life. Isn't this what James 1:27 is all about?
Today we will be going into Port-Au-Prince to take a look at the devastation and some of the poorer areas of the city. To be honest, the shanties and the tent cities are actually considered "the nice areas" of the city. We'll be taking a look at the worse off places, then having lunch at the Haiti Baptist Mission on one of the mountain tops. Tonight we will be having devotional time with the kids and many of them are already claiming Kendall to play on their team! (he was busy arm wrestling the kids till late last night! Ha!) Bill, Ty, and Eric have also been in high demand for soccer!
Please continue to pray the kids open their hearts not just to us, but to Jesus Christ. Please pray that we make the most of every second we are here to impact this place for the kingdom of God. As we go about the city, for everyone to see Jesus - and not ourselves. Please pray for us to love with a selfless love, to leave sin at the foot of the cross (per Bill's devotional time with the team last night), and to love with the love of Christ. Please pray for God to break our hearts for with what breaks His. This is just a very small snippet of what God is doing here in Haiti - in the kids and in us - there will be SO much more to share upon return. I cannot thank you enough for your prayers and for being warriors for Him at home. You are here with us.
In His Love,
Kristina
SO....it was a LONG first day, but an amazing one! As some of you know, our journey began at 4 AM in the morning yesterday as we met at the church to go to the airport. We arrived safe and sound, after many locals tried to "help" us with our bags - we were heckled, but made it here safely ready to go!
The flooding here has been a force to reckon with, as half our team is sleeping in the church and half are in tents. Don't be fooled though, sleeping in the church is not like sleeping in a church back home in the US. The folks sleeping in the church are on concrete ground (think 4 concrete walls with a tin roof), while rats run about the rafters. Jesse and I screamed last night when we saw one the size of a cat scampering across the roof! Everyone thought this was hilarious, but it gave us the creeps! Ha!
Everyone has LOVED playing with the kids and meeting the children. Yesterday afternoon, we were all sitting around listening to a man from the Dominican Republic play worship music (he was from another team here), then Matt grabbed his guitar and joined in. They started playing the song "Mighty To Save" and then we looked around, and all the orphans in the compound were singing it too....in English! Praise God! There wasn't a dry eye under the gazebo as we played and sang the song for our Lord's glory! It was so sweet that the orphans came running to sit on our laps, many of them fell asleep because they had been playing with us all day. Such an incredibly sweet moment to have a precious Haitian orphan fall asleep in your arms while singing the song, "Mighty To Save", isn't it?!
Last night we had a devotional time with the kids, which was so fun, but also more serious at the same time. Justin shared his testimony with the kids, which was seriously awesome. So many of them think our lives are perfect, no problems. In their minds, we have food, we have parents, we have education, clean water, we know where we are going to wake up tomorrow - they do not have this luxury. So, Justin sharing his testimony about not having a father figure, and coming from an abusive home, REALLY connected with the kids. The older boys in the back of the room were glued to his story. It was awesome. The men on the team also did a skit on David and Goliath, which was SO funny! Kendall played an award winning role as a sheep, while Eric (aka "David"), tended to the sheep. Chris was "Goliath" and did a great job! The kids loved it! We also sang songs, and Jenifer Smith shared her testimony at the end. Amazing night!
It has been so heart warming to see a different side of everyone. Just rolling around and playing with orphans all day, it never gets old, not for one second. Nanette and Dana have also connected with many of the kids, carrying around orphans with cerebal palsy. As some of you may know, the majority of these kids have special needs. Dozens with hydrocephalaus, many with mental illnesses, at least 20 in wheelchairs. So when they get the opportunity to have fun, it warms their hearts for God - and let's them know, God has not forgotten them. Many of these kids are considered outcasts and were not wanted by their families because they "had issues" and could not be cared for, or their parents died. They are so hungry for love, and the need is huge.
One child, Wentzi, I was able to reconnect with after being here last time. He is doing great! He is smiling and playing! Wentzi was "5 weeks away from death" and had severe malnutrition and tuberculosis, no parents leaving him an orphan. He's a little shy, but has a huge heart! Watching him sing "Mighty To Save" was more than a blessing, it changes it my life. Isn't this what James 1:27 is all about?
Today we will be going into Port-Au-Prince to take a look at the devastation and some of the poorer areas of the city. To be honest, the shanties and the tent cities are actually considered "the nice areas" of the city. We'll be taking a look at the worse off places, then having lunch at the Haiti Baptist Mission on one of the mountain tops. Tonight we will be having devotional time with the kids and many of them are already claiming Kendall to play on their team! (he was busy arm wrestling the kids till late last night! Ha!) Bill, Ty, and Eric have also been in high demand for soccer!
Please continue to pray the kids open their hearts not just to us, but to Jesus Christ. Please pray that we make the most of every second we are here to impact this place for the kingdom of God. As we go about the city, for everyone to see Jesus - and not ourselves. Please pray for us to love with a selfless love, to leave sin at the foot of the cross (per Bill's devotional time with the team last night), and to love with the love of Christ. Please pray for God to break our hearts for with what breaks His. This is just a very small snippet of what God is doing here in Haiti - in the kids and in us - there will be SO much more to share upon return. I cannot thank you enough for your prayers and for being warriors for Him at home. You are here with us.
In His Love,
Kristina
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
How It Started
It was 4:30 AM in Kathmandu, Nepal and I was struggling to wake up. (I'm not exactly a morning person, and for those of you who have had to live through my mornings on some days - I sincerely thank you, Ha!) I digress... I was one of the last on the team to come down the five flights of stairs at our hotel. From the lobby, I could see my team sipping Nepal tea and coffee while eating Nepali pancakes (think dry crepes) in the dining area. We were preparing to go out for the day to share Christ in local Nepali villages. I thought I could sneak in a quick peek at my e-mail and maybe churn out a quick blog entry. As I logged in on January 12, it was late afternoon on the Eastern US and the news was slammed with news of the 7.0 earthquake in Haiti. At first, the pictures and blurbs didn't seem to convey the magnitude of the devastation on google news. The death toll seemed low but "expected to rise", which seems the case for most natural disasters. Isn't it odd how that doesn't seem to alarm us sometimes? However, my first thought was, "I have to be there."
Upon returning to the US about 4-5 days later, and sick with a bacterial infection, I was still glued to the events unraveling in a devastated Haiti. My Dad had even written me an e-mail from Miami, FL explaining how he had never seen anything like this before, people were pulling resources together to help and the need was so great. I knew God was continuing to press upon my heart the strong need to go to Haiti, but how? A door would have to open somehow, the airports in Port-Au-Prince were closed due to ravaging destruction. I prayed. A week or two later, a glimmering opportunity seemed to arise.
A friend of mine mentioned he would be going down to Haiti, and I casually mentioned that I wished I could go too. He asked me if I thought I could be in Miami, FL on February 16, and if I could, there would be a strong chance for me to go. I was elated, an answered prayer only God could give. I had already planned to quit my job, so I handed in my resignation, had my last day on February 12th and went to Florida. With ups and downs, it became unclear as to whether or not I could actually go. On February 15, my friend called again to see if I still wanted to join. In a whirlwind, I found myself run out to pick up supplies and was in Miami, FL by 11am the next day, then Port-Au-Prince, Haiti later that night. It was dark when I arrived, so I couldn't see much, however, the next day - it was all so clear. Orphan children with no limbs, fresh amputees, the crying, the hopelessness, the blankness on people's faces, the houses built for warm loving families with dreams were now completely shattered, the search for loved ones under buried ruble, people with no where to go - a scene that carried on for miles. It was hell on earth, but nonetheless, I knew God had a reason for putting me there.
On my way home from Haiti, I knew God wanted me to go back and that Haiti would be a part of my life forever. I never ever want to forget that first time in Haiti, these people were counting on it. After 2-3 months of being home in the US, I mentioned going back to a couple people who were willing to join me on the trip. Then, before I knew it, I was proposing the trip in front of my Life Group at church to see if anyone would be willing to go back to hell on earth with me. What followed, amazed me, and humbled me beyond words. 18 people. 18 people answered the call for God, they stepped up to go for Him to a land that is broken, dirty, horrifying, in despair, ravaged by destruction, hurting, and lost. These people could have taken their time and efforts and gone to the Bahamas or some nice vacation, but they stepped up to go for God. Amazing. If that isn't God at work, I don't know what is. Never in my wildest dreams did I think 18 people would want to come to Haiti. The following months came together with passports, garage sales, vaccinations, buying supplies, and team meetings.
Here we are. It's the night before we leave, and you are apart of our journey also. If you are receiving this as an e-mail, someone on the team has requested you to receive our team updates. If not, I know its a God thing that you have found your way to this note. Please pray for us as we take this journey for our Lord. Be with us, stand in the gap for us. We are your brothers and sisters in the field, and you are here with us. Our team verse is this:
He must become greater; I must become less. - John 3:30, NIV
I challenge you with this question, how are you applying it your life? We will be asking ourselves this question multiple times throughout the trip, I assure you. I thank you for everything, and as this missions eve night comes to a close with mixed emotions and excitement, I say, it is ALL for His glory.
To Make Him Known,
Kristina
Upon returning to the US about 4-5 days later, and sick with a bacterial infection, I was still glued to the events unraveling in a devastated Haiti. My Dad had even written me an e-mail from Miami, FL explaining how he had never seen anything like this before, people were pulling resources together to help and the need was so great. I knew God was continuing to press upon my heart the strong need to go to Haiti, but how? A door would have to open somehow, the airports in Port-Au-Prince were closed due to ravaging destruction. I prayed. A week or two later, a glimmering opportunity seemed to arise.
A friend of mine mentioned he would be going down to Haiti, and I casually mentioned that I wished I could go too. He asked me if I thought I could be in Miami, FL on February 16, and if I could, there would be a strong chance for me to go. I was elated, an answered prayer only God could give. I had already planned to quit my job, so I handed in my resignation, had my last day on February 12th and went to Florida. With ups and downs, it became unclear as to whether or not I could actually go. On February 15, my friend called again to see if I still wanted to join. In a whirlwind, I found myself run out to pick up supplies and was in Miami, FL by 11am the next day, then Port-Au-Prince, Haiti later that night. It was dark when I arrived, so I couldn't see much, however, the next day - it was all so clear. Orphan children with no limbs, fresh amputees, the crying, the hopelessness, the blankness on people's faces, the houses built for warm loving families with dreams were now completely shattered, the search for loved ones under buried ruble, people with no where to go - a scene that carried on for miles. It was hell on earth, but nonetheless, I knew God had a reason for putting me there.
On my way home from Haiti, I knew God wanted me to go back and that Haiti would be a part of my life forever. I never ever want to forget that first time in Haiti, these people were counting on it. After 2-3 months of being home in the US, I mentioned going back to a couple people who were willing to join me on the trip. Then, before I knew it, I was proposing the trip in front of my Life Group at church to see if anyone would be willing to go back to hell on earth with me. What followed, amazed me, and humbled me beyond words. 18 people. 18 people answered the call for God, they stepped up to go for Him to a land that is broken, dirty, horrifying, in despair, ravaged by destruction, hurting, and lost. These people could have taken their time and efforts and gone to the Bahamas or some nice vacation, but they stepped up to go for God. Amazing. If that isn't God at work, I don't know what is. Never in my wildest dreams did I think 18 people would want to come to Haiti. The following months came together with passports, garage sales, vaccinations, buying supplies, and team meetings.
Here we are. It's the night before we leave, and you are apart of our journey also. If you are receiving this as an e-mail, someone on the team has requested you to receive our team updates. If not, I know its a God thing that you have found your way to this note. Please pray for us as we take this journey for our Lord. Be with us, stand in the gap for us. We are your brothers and sisters in the field, and you are here with us. Our team verse is this:
He must become greater; I must become less. - John 3:30, NIV
I challenge you with this question, how are you applying it your life? We will be asking ourselves this question multiple times throughout the trip, I assure you. I thank you for everything, and as this missions eve night comes to a close with mixed emotions and excitement, I say, it is ALL for His glory.
To Make Him Known,
Kristina
Monday, August 9, 2010
Live Out Loud
As some of you know, myself and a team of 18 are off to Port-Au-Prince, Haiti in a matter of 2 days now. To say I've been under spiritual warfare feels like an under statement. My life has been blindsided by attacks.....my health, my personal relationships, my family, my academic pursuits, my job, I could go on and on. However, this is not to be a blog about complaining or dwelling in my spiritual woes, or even playing the victim. Instead, I'm using this blog entry to be very honest.
Over the weekend, I attended a dear friend's wedding in Philadelphia, PA. Overall I had a very fun time, however, in the back of my mind - I knew I was being spiritually tested in so many ways, putting the fun weekend aside. Furthermore, I've noticed since early July this has been the case. I've been holding it in, keeping it down, playing the strong card, once again playing like I have it all together. Those close to me have known some of the struggle, maybe small snippets or just a very surfaced understanding followed by a change of subject before things get deep. Then, as I boarded the plane to come home and weaved through the maze on the airplane aisle to get to my seat, it happened. This large man in front of me, sweet and innocent as he was, took a step back to let a lady pass by and managed to flatten my toe. (I know you must be laughing by now) Laughter aside, it managed to remove my large toe nail with profuse bleeding to follow. I didn't even notice how bad until I reached my seat. The poor man apologized a few times, and bless his heart, it was an accident. However, I lost it. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I bawled like a baby. I know, how ridiculous does that sound?
With tear stained cheeks, and in the air and unable to use my cell phone, I sought my Father. I prayed and prayed. I prayed for my team traveling to Haiti, I prayed for me to understand what God's call is on my life - or to just know a direction, I prayed for my future husband, I prayed for my Dad, I prayed for the persecuted church (which is near and dear to my heart), I prayed for the people on the plane, I prayed for one of my best friends who just came home from Africa, I prayed for wisdom, I prayed for truth, I prayed for sanctification, I prayed for healing, I prayed for understanding, I prayed for my future husband, I prayed for reconciliation, I prayed for God to bind the enemy from me and my relationships, I prayed for my heart, and most of all: I prayed that regardless of man's approval, that I glorify God - in ALL that I do. (1 Corinthians 10:31)
I was hurting, in more ways than one. And in that moment, I remembered the theme from the Single Life Second Baptist retreat the previous year - "Live Out Loud". As cheesy as it may sound to some of you, I really want to live out loud. Those three words challenge me. If I want to be thought of as a woman who glorifies God, I need to do that in EVERY area of my life including speech, relationships, purity, thoughts, heart, physical fitness, evangelizing, and the list could go on. I want to live out loud, not just for my sake, but for your sake. For God's sake. I want to be an example, and I know there are people in my life who will tell me I am already doing that, but I know I could be doing it better. And I know not only will the Lord be honored by it, but so will my future husband.
Some of you know, I keep two journals: one of my personal entries and one full of letters written to my future husband (which I've been writing in since 2003). As I look back on these two journals, I'm reminded of how much I've grown and how far I have come. I am also reminded of how much God REALLY can do in a person's life, and how necessary it is for me to live my life out loud. Nothing to hide. No regrets. No secret closet of information. No shame. No condemnation. No skeletons. No scars I try to cover up or pain I try to mask. I'm called to live a life out loud for His glory, as an extension of His love. If I live, and do not communicate the gospel without words, I fail. If I live and do not communicate His love without words, I have nothing.
By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. - John 13:35, NIV
I don't want to sound like a prayer beggar, but in all honesty, I would appreciate your prayers very much for myself and for the team. Please pray as the Spirit leads you to pray for us; pray for our hearts; pray for the hearts of the Haitian people; pray for God to break our heart's for what breaks His; pray for us to become more like Him. I'm fighting the fight right now against the enemy, it's an ugly fight. I'm equipping myself with spiritual armor (Ephesians 6), and I pray that the team is also equipped. Please pray that we live out loud, for His glory alone. And more importantly, I pray that you believe what you pray. I ask for you to be refined in this journey with us, as our prayer warriors for His kingdom. I pray for you, that you also live out loud for His glory. I pray that you lay down yourself with us, and take up what His character. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will be posting (internet connection permitting) throughout our time in Haiti.
To Make Him Known,
Kristina
Over the weekend, I attended a dear friend's wedding in Philadelphia, PA. Overall I had a very fun time, however, in the back of my mind - I knew I was being spiritually tested in so many ways, putting the fun weekend aside. Furthermore, I've noticed since early July this has been the case. I've been holding it in, keeping it down, playing the strong card, once again playing like I have it all together. Those close to me have known some of the struggle, maybe small snippets or just a very surfaced understanding followed by a change of subject before things get deep. Then, as I boarded the plane to come home and weaved through the maze on the airplane aisle to get to my seat, it happened. This large man in front of me, sweet and innocent as he was, took a step back to let a lady pass by and managed to flatten my toe. (I know you must be laughing by now) Laughter aside, it managed to remove my large toe nail with profuse bleeding to follow. I didn't even notice how bad until I reached my seat. The poor man apologized a few times, and bless his heart, it was an accident. However, I lost it. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I bawled like a baby. I know, how ridiculous does that sound?
With tear stained cheeks, and in the air and unable to use my cell phone, I sought my Father. I prayed and prayed. I prayed for my team traveling to Haiti, I prayed for me to understand what God's call is on my life - or to just know a direction, I prayed for my future husband, I prayed for my Dad, I prayed for the persecuted church (which is near and dear to my heart), I prayed for the people on the plane, I prayed for one of my best friends who just came home from Africa, I prayed for wisdom, I prayed for truth, I prayed for sanctification, I prayed for healing, I prayed for understanding, I prayed for my future husband, I prayed for reconciliation, I prayed for God to bind the enemy from me and my relationships, I prayed for my heart, and most of all: I prayed that regardless of man's approval, that I glorify God - in ALL that I do. (1 Corinthians 10:31)
I was hurting, in more ways than one. And in that moment, I remembered the theme from the Single Life Second Baptist retreat the previous year - "Live Out Loud". As cheesy as it may sound to some of you, I really want to live out loud. Those three words challenge me. If I want to be thought of as a woman who glorifies God, I need to do that in EVERY area of my life including speech, relationships, purity, thoughts, heart, physical fitness, evangelizing, and the list could go on. I want to live out loud, not just for my sake, but for your sake. For God's sake. I want to be an example, and I know there are people in my life who will tell me I am already doing that, but I know I could be doing it better. And I know not only will the Lord be honored by it, but so will my future husband.
Some of you know, I keep two journals: one of my personal entries and one full of letters written to my future husband (which I've been writing in since 2003). As I look back on these two journals, I'm reminded of how much I've grown and how far I have come. I am also reminded of how much God REALLY can do in a person's life, and how necessary it is for me to live my life out loud. Nothing to hide. No regrets. No secret closet of information. No shame. No condemnation. No skeletons. No scars I try to cover up or pain I try to mask. I'm called to live a life out loud for His glory, as an extension of His love. If I live, and do not communicate the gospel without words, I fail. If I live and do not communicate His love without words, I have nothing.
By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. - John 13:35, NIV
I don't want to sound like a prayer beggar, but in all honesty, I would appreciate your prayers very much for myself and for the team. Please pray as the Spirit leads you to pray for us; pray for our hearts; pray for the hearts of the Haitian people; pray for God to break our heart's for what breaks His; pray for us to become more like Him. I'm fighting the fight right now against the enemy, it's an ugly fight. I'm equipping myself with spiritual armor (Ephesians 6), and I pray that the team is also equipped. Please pray that we live out loud, for His glory alone. And more importantly, I pray that you believe what you pray. I ask for you to be refined in this journey with us, as our prayer warriors for His kingdom. I pray for you, that you also live out loud for His glory. I pray that you lay down yourself with us, and take up what His character. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will be posting (internet connection permitting) throughout our time in Haiti.
To Make Him Known,
Kristina
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Do Something - Revised, 3rd Edition
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. - Matthew 28:19-20, NIV
This verse has been stirring in my heart for the last two years. It's a common verse, I've heard so many times when referencing a number of theological points from missions to the trinity. In fact, any time the word 'missions' comes up, you will most likely see the above verse attached.
On this missions eve, 8 days before our team leaves for Port-Au-Prince, Haiti, I have been surrounded by messages of getting out there and actually doing something for Christ, probably more so than ever before (and this is my 5th mission trip). As we can all conclude, when God is moving us to do something for His kingdom, it brings on messages warning of spiritual warfare as well. This has provided even further confirmation that I am indeed being called to spread His word and love not only in Haiti, but to as many people who are willing to listen to the testimony of what God is doing in Haiti up on my return.
You see, this time, it is different for me. Not only am I honored to serve in a leadership role, but this is also a homecoming for me. I've been to Haiti before, in the wake of the earthquake with relief efforts. This particular effort, while somewhat checked with relief, is mostly a mission of being the love of Christ - that is the complete focus. Watching our team come together has been one of the coolest God experiences I've ever had, as I physically see Him choosing each team member bringing us together for His glory. We all have different strengths and different weaknesses, it's all very beautiful when put together, like a puzzle He constructed before the beginning of time. So, what is next?
One single life pastor (who was on a previous mission trip with me year) gave a message one Sunday last year about what it meant to "do something." These two simple words are an answer to a million different questions. They have still stuck with me like feathers on tar.
When you were a small child and you felt like the world was too much; or when you were scared of a thunderstorm; or maybe if you couldn't handle a problem; or maybe you were fighting over toys with your siblings; what would you often say to a parent or guardian? "Do Something! .....Mom, Dad, please do something!"
Friends, I feel like in this world with all its turmoil and strife; poverty and blindness; hungry and lost; poor in spirit and broken in heart; weak and wounded; sickness and condemnation; we are being told to "do something."
I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. - Philemon 1:6, NIV
In less than 8 days, our team will be meeting at the church at 4:00 AM to go to Haiti. We are going to "do something." We have prayed, we have studied His word, we have prepared, and now we are doing something. I'm at total peace placing our team in His mighty hands - He is the potter, and we are the clay. You see, by some standards, Haiti is considered to be one of the most desolate, dirty, broken, starving, filthy, horrifying places on earth. Poverty levels are high, and so are travel security warnings. Some people have even asked me, "Aren't you afraid of going there?" and you know, I'm more afraid of not going, than actually going. In fact, I'm not fearful at all. I even ask that in place of praying for security, and safety, that you pray for God to give us wisdom in the event of a hostile situation arising. Wisdom to handle the situation so that He may be glorified no matter what happens. Everyone needs to experience the love of Christ, even criminals - let us not forget, according to scripture, we have been criminals too.
I firmly believe one can spend their life in bible studying, and may never achieve actual "bible doing." We can sit on a pew every Sunday getting fed a message, a sermon, full of God's word....just getting fat. Fat on God's word. Sitting there with a "feed me" attitude, then leave and go about our week without ever actually sharing the love that is Christ with anyone. Are we not to spread His love and His good news?
"The gospel is only good news if it gets there in time." - Carl F. H. Henry
Having been an editor, I'm accustomed to the media and information providing business. The definition of news is something someone has not heard before, it is "new" to them. Even if not recent, if someone has not heard it before, the information is considered news. Are you spreading the news of our Savior? There are millions of people on this planet who have not heard about the news of Jesus Christ. Again, in God's word, the non-negotiable command is clear:
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. - Matthew 28:19-20, NIV
No nation is exempt from this command. Are you doing something? or are you getting "fat" on God's word and not sharing it?
I heard a quote once, "Go, send, or disobey." - John Piper, regarding the Great Commission.
Friends, we have one life. How you spend it is ultimately up to you. You can choose to glorify God with your life, or you can choose to serve yourself. At the end of your life, when you stand before God, can you say that you did something? Will you hear Jesus say to you.....
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness! - Matthew 25:21, NIV
Our Savior chose to die on the cross for us; to cleanse us of our sins. It was our sins that held Him there. Your name is right up there on that cross next to mine, and so is the homeless guy on the street. We are all not that different. Will you do something? Will you go for Him? Will you send someone for Him? Where is your heart?
One of the quickest ways to see where your priorities are is to open up your planner and open up your checkbook. Where are you spending your time and where are you spending your money? That is where your heart is. God cares more about your heart than anything else. What are you doing for God? "Do something."
"Sympathy is no substitute for action." -- David Livingstone, missionary to Africa
Don't let circumstances stand in your way, God will take care of that - He wants to take care of it for you, just choose Him. Choose to glorify Him. Let go of everything that is hindering you, and do something. Get out there. Stop talking about it. Stop saying one day you will get around to it. Stop saying, "when I have the money..." - you can do something now. Stop saying, "when I get this right...." - God can use you now. Stop making excuses. Do something.
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. - 1 Corinthians 10:31, NIV
All for the glory of God. All. Are you doing everything for His glory? Why not?
I know you can do something to glorify God. I know you can give God your everything - you can give Him all of you, let Him be the absolute center of your life, and not just something you dabble in on Sundays, or throughout the week, to make yourself feel good. I know God is faithful, and He will prepare you. He will equip you to what He is calling you to do. I'm praying so deeply for you my friends, get out there and do something for Jesus.
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" - Isaiah 6:8, NIV
Thank you for your prayers as well, truly. We will be praying for you while we are in Haiti. :-)
<><
Kay
This verse has been stirring in my heart for the last two years. It's a common verse, I've heard so many times when referencing a number of theological points from missions to the trinity. In fact, any time the word 'missions' comes up, you will most likely see the above verse attached.
On this missions eve, 8 days before our team leaves for Port-Au-Prince, Haiti, I have been surrounded by messages of getting out there and actually doing something for Christ, probably more so than ever before (and this is my 5th mission trip). As we can all conclude, when God is moving us to do something for His kingdom, it brings on messages warning of spiritual warfare as well. This has provided even further confirmation that I am indeed being called to spread His word and love not only in Haiti, but to as many people who are willing to listen to the testimony of what God is doing in Haiti up on my return.
You see, this time, it is different for me. Not only am I honored to serve in a leadership role, but this is also a homecoming for me. I've been to Haiti before, in the wake of the earthquake with relief efforts. This particular effort, while somewhat checked with relief, is mostly a mission of being the love of Christ - that is the complete focus. Watching our team come together has been one of the coolest God experiences I've ever had, as I physically see Him choosing each team member bringing us together for His glory. We all have different strengths and different weaknesses, it's all very beautiful when put together, like a puzzle He constructed before the beginning of time. So, what is next?
One single life pastor (who was on a previous mission trip with me year) gave a message one Sunday last year about what it meant to "do something." These two simple words are an answer to a million different questions. They have still stuck with me like feathers on tar.
When you were a small child and you felt like the world was too much; or when you were scared of a thunderstorm; or maybe if you couldn't handle a problem; or maybe you were fighting over toys with your siblings; what would you often say to a parent or guardian? "Do Something! .....Mom, Dad, please do something!"
Friends, I feel like in this world with all its turmoil and strife; poverty and blindness; hungry and lost; poor in spirit and broken in heart; weak and wounded; sickness and condemnation; we are being told to "do something."
I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. - Philemon 1:6, NIV
In less than 8 days, our team will be meeting at the church at 4:00 AM to go to Haiti. We are going to "do something." We have prayed, we have studied His word, we have prepared, and now we are doing something. I'm at total peace placing our team in His mighty hands - He is the potter, and we are the clay. You see, by some standards, Haiti is considered to be one of the most desolate, dirty, broken, starving, filthy, horrifying places on earth. Poverty levels are high, and so are travel security warnings. Some people have even asked me, "Aren't you afraid of going there?" and you know, I'm more afraid of not going, than actually going. In fact, I'm not fearful at all. I even ask that in place of praying for security, and safety, that you pray for God to give us wisdom in the event of a hostile situation arising. Wisdom to handle the situation so that He may be glorified no matter what happens. Everyone needs to experience the love of Christ, even criminals - let us not forget, according to scripture, we have been criminals too.
I firmly believe one can spend their life in bible studying, and may never achieve actual "bible doing." We can sit on a pew every Sunday getting fed a message, a sermon, full of God's word....just getting fat. Fat on God's word. Sitting there with a "feed me" attitude, then leave and go about our week without ever actually sharing the love that is Christ with anyone. Are we not to spread His love and His good news?
"The gospel is only good news if it gets there in time." - Carl F. H. Henry
Having been an editor, I'm accustomed to the media and information providing business. The definition of news is something someone has not heard before, it is "new" to them. Even if not recent, if someone has not heard it before, the information is considered news. Are you spreading the news of our Savior? There are millions of people on this planet who have not heard about the news of Jesus Christ. Again, in God's word, the non-negotiable command is clear:
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. - Matthew 28:19-20, NIV
No nation is exempt from this command. Are you doing something? or are you getting "fat" on God's word and not sharing it?
I heard a quote once, "Go, send, or disobey." - John Piper, regarding the Great Commission.
Friends, we have one life. How you spend it is ultimately up to you. You can choose to glorify God with your life, or you can choose to serve yourself. At the end of your life, when you stand before God, can you say that you did something? Will you hear Jesus say to you.....
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness! - Matthew 25:21, NIV
Our Savior chose to die on the cross for us; to cleanse us of our sins. It was our sins that held Him there. Your name is right up there on that cross next to mine, and so is the homeless guy on the street. We are all not that different. Will you do something? Will you go for Him? Will you send someone for Him? Where is your heart?
One of the quickest ways to see where your priorities are is to open up your planner and open up your checkbook. Where are you spending your time and where are you spending your money? That is where your heart is. God cares more about your heart than anything else. What are you doing for God? "Do something."
"Sympathy is no substitute for action." -- David Livingstone, missionary to Africa
Don't let circumstances stand in your way, God will take care of that - He wants to take care of it for you, just choose Him. Choose to glorify Him. Let go of everything that is hindering you, and do something. Get out there. Stop talking about it. Stop saying one day you will get around to it. Stop saying, "when I have the money..." - you can do something now. Stop saying, "when I get this right...." - God can use you now. Stop making excuses. Do something.
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. - 1 Corinthians 10:31, NIV
All for the glory of God. All. Are you doing everything for His glory? Why not?
I know you can do something to glorify God. I know you can give God your everything - you can give Him all of you, let Him be the absolute center of your life, and not just something you dabble in on Sundays, or throughout the week, to make yourself feel good. I know God is faithful, and He will prepare you. He will equip you to what He is calling you to do. I'm praying so deeply for you my friends, get out there and do something for Jesus.
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" - Isaiah 6:8, NIV
Thank you for your prayers as well, truly. We will be praying for you while we are in Haiti. :-)
<><
Kay
Saturday, July 17, 2010
A Confession
I love this crazy world. I’ve been trying to figure out for days how to put my thoughts and feelings on paper, and to be honest, I don’t usually struggle with this. What I can tell you is the last few weeks, my life has felt like a roller coaster. I’ve been sad, I’ve been joyful, I’ve been thankful, I’ve been hurting, I’ve been nostalgic, I’ve been feeling left out, I’ve been feeling carefree, I’ve been feeling under attack, I’ve been feeling small, I've felt abandoned, I’ve been feeling fat, I’ve been feeling relaxed, I’ve been feeling so very stressed, I’ve been a mess, I’ve been on top of it. I could go on and on, and some of reminds me of a question I was asked about 4 months ago by a girl I only knew for a very short while years ago. Though I had not talked to her for a couple years, she messaged me this question:
“Hey girl, I have what is probably going to be a very strange question for you.... How do you do it? I was reading through some of your comments and looking at your photos and stuff the other day and I just can’t figure it out. How do you find the time to do all of these amazing things??? Some things have happened to me recently in which I feel as though I've had to consider what will happen when I die. I thought about it the other day and I thought "I can’t die, I haven’t lived yet." There's so much that I want to do and yet there's never enough time or money or whatever and I just feel like I haven’t done anything with my life. I mean, I'm working and I'm getting ready to marry and incredible man, but I don’t feel like I've lived. Then I look at you and you're well traveled, well read, going on missions, inspiring people, holding down a secular job, etc etc. What's the secret????”
I have thought long and hard about this question. I could over spiritualize my answer and say, for me, the secret has always been Jesus – and to a degree, I believe He has been much of the driving force. And to be even more honest, I feel as though I haven’t really even began to live yet either. There is so much I want to do with my life, and much more I feel God is calling me to do with my life, and I haven’t even scratched the surface. However, the answer I came up with to this young lady’s question is this: Every day is a gift from God. You get one day, you have one life, and once a minute of the day is gone, it is gone forever. Life is too short for regrets (and boy, have I needed to remind myself of that a lot lately). Trust me, I know it seems as though there is never enough time or money…..just ask any of my friends, including myself, who long to go to the mission field full time and still try to pay down debts we’ve accrued over the years in college.
“If you are hungry, you will find a way to eat.” This is a quote that someone once said to me regarding spiritual hunger. Meaning, if you want Jesus in your life bad enough, you will move heaven and earth to make Him the center of your life. You will make every attempt to get spiritual food, to eat, to be nourished, to have the energy to go out and give food to others who are also hungry. This quote also applies to living life for God. If you want bad enough to really live your life out loud, to really live each day to its fullest for Jesus, you will find a way to do it. I’m still working on this in so many ways. You will find a way to eat if you are hungry.
I confess I have not lived my life with a radical love, not as radical as I feel called to be. I have been guarded in so many ways because of past hurts. I’ve pushed people away, and wanted to be accepted by people who know nothing of the love of Christ. I confess I have not told the people who matter most in my life that I forgive them, that I love them, that I would fight for them, that I would lay down my life for them. I have not reached the least, the last, and the lost with every ounce of my being, though yes, I have been to the 3rd world countless times, it is not enough. I have not been all over the world, I’ve been to 16 countries (and in no way, do airport connections count), and ask yourself, how many countries are there in the world? There is SO much undiscovered territory out there. I’ve lived inside walls I’ve set for myself, inside my own rules and regulations, and I feel like it is time to break the chains. I want to love big, I want to live big for Jesus Christ. There is no excuse I can make, other than my own self-indulgence and self-protection. There is so much living yet to do and I’m just getting started.
What else do I want to do? I want to be able to tell you what it smells like inside the L’ourve; I want to be able to tell you what pizza tastes like in Italy; I want to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro; I want to run the Marine Corps Marathon; I want see where Christ’s body was laid and be baptized in the Jordan River; I want to share Christ in the slums of India; I want to hold the hands of orphans in Africa; I want to hike Machu Pichu; I want to vacation in the Maldives; I want to see a lion in the wild and thank God for His creation; I want to see snow in Russia and marvel at how God could create something so white; I want to go whitewater rafting with my friend Sophie in Tiblisi, Georgia and thank Him for her friendship; I want to sip tea on the streets of Beirut, Lebanon and tell the waiter/waitress about Jesus Christ; I want to ease the fears and pray over the persecuted Christians of Gaza City whose physical church was blown up by a bomb last year; I want to see the Eiffel tower and hear the words ‘I Love You’ while standing underneath it; I want to adopt an orphan from a foreign country; I want to meet a Godly man who loves me as Christ loved the church – who will truly fight for my heart – and to marry that man; I want to go to an Olympic games; I want to cheer with a vuvuzela at World Cup soccer game; I want to drive through Napa valley and share a glass of wine with my best friend. I want to live and love radically for the gospel of Jesus Christ everywhere I go. I want to see my family members completely surrender their lives to Jesus Christ and join me on the path of Christ. But you know what I want the most, I want to be used by God to bring as many people to Christ as possible. To me, that is true success, to spread the name of my dear Savior to as many souls as possible. If I get to do everything else in the process, that would be great, but it is not up to me. Thankfully, it is up to our Creator who is so sovereign.
What do you want to do with the gift of life that God has given you?
I love you dear friends and family, I am praying for you. He is there with open arms for you, and whatever your fear is, give it to Him. It is ok. Will you join me on this God filled ride?
I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her. – Matthew 26:13, NIV
<><
KB
“Hey girl, I have what is probably going to be a very strange question for you.... How do you do it? I was reading through some of your comments and looking at your photos and stuff the other day and I just can’t figure it out. How do you find the time to do all of these amazing things??? Some things have happened to me recently in which I feel as though I've had to consider what will happen when I die. I thought about it the other day and I thought "I can’t die, I haven’t lived yet." There's so much that I want to do and yet there's never enough time or money or whatever and I just feel like I haven’t done anything with my life. I mean, I'm working and I'm getting ready to marry and incredible man, but I don’t feel like I've lived. Then I look at you and you're well traveled, well read, going on missions, inspiring people, holding down a secular job, etc etc. What's the secret????”
I have thought long and hard about this question. I could over spiritualize my answer and say, for me, the secret has always been Jesus – and to a degree, I believe He has been much of the driving force. And to be even more honest, I feel as though I haven’t really even began to live yet either. There is so much I want to do with my life, and much more I feel God is calling me to do with my life, and I haven’t even scratched the surface. However, the answer I came up with to this young lady’s question is this: Every day is a gift from God. You get one day, you have one life, and once a minute of the day is gone, it is gone forever. Life is too short for regrets (and boy, have I needed to remind myself of that a lot lately). Trust me, I know it seems as though there is never enough time or money…..just ask any of my friends, including myself, who long to go to the mission field full time and still try to pay down debts we’ve accrued over the years in college.
“If you are hungry, you will find a way to eat.” This is a quote that someone once said to me regarding spiritual hunger. Meaning, if you want Jesus in your life bad enough, you will move heaven and earth to make Him the center of your life. You will make every attempt to get spiritual food, to eat, to be nourished, to have the energy to go out and give food to others who are also hungry. This quote also applies to living life for God. If you want bad enough to really live your life out loud, to really live each day to its fullest for Jesus, you will find a way to do it. I’m still working on this in so many ways. You will find a way to eat if you are hungry.
I confess I have not lived my life with a radical love, not as radical as I feel called to be. I have been guarded in so many ways because of past hurts. I’ve pushed people away, and wanted to be accepted by people who know nothing of the love of Christ. I confess I have not told the people who matter most in my life that I forgive them, that I love them, that I would fight for them, that I would lay down my life for them. I have not reached the least, the last, and the lost with every ounce of my being, though yes, I have been to the 3rd world countless times, it is not enough. I have not been all over the world, I’ve been to 16 countries (and in no way, do airport connections count), and ask yourself, how many countries are there in the world? There is SO much undiscovered territory out there. I’ve lived inside walls I’ve set for myself, inside my own rules and regulations, and I feel like it is time to break the chains. I want to love big, I want to live big for Jesus Christ. There is no excuse I can make, other than my own self-indulgence and self-protection. There is so much living yet to do and I’m just getting started.
What else do I want to do? I want to be able to tell you what it smells like inside the L’ourve; I want to be able to tell you what pizza tastes like in Italy; I want to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro; I want to run the Marine Corps Marathon; I want see where Christ’s body was laid and be baptized in the Jordan River; I want to share Christ in the slums of India; I want to hold the hands of orphans in Africa; I want to hike Machu Pichu; I want to vacation in the Maldives; I want to see a lion in the wild and thank God for His creation; I want to see snow in Russia and marvel at how God could create something so white; I want to go whitewater rafting with my friend Sophie in Tiblisi, Georgia and thank Him for her friendship; I want to sip tea on the streets of Beirut, Lebanon and tell the waiter/waitress about Jesus Christ; I want to ease the fears and pray over the persecuted Christians of Gaza City whose physical church was blown up by a bomb last year; I want to see the Eiffel tower and hear the words ‘I Love You’ while standing underneath it; I want to adopt an orphan from a foreign country; I want to meet a Godly man who loves me as Christ loved the church – who will truly fight for my heart – and to marry that man; I want to go to an Olympic games; I want to cheer with a vuvuzela at World Cup soccer game; I want to drive through Napa valley and share a glass of wine with my best friend. I want to live and love radically for the gospel of Jesus Christ everywhere I go. I want to see my family members completely surrender their lives to Jesus Christ and join me on the path of Christ. But you know what I want the most, I want to be used by God to bring as many people to Christ as possible. To me, that is true success, to spread the name of my dear Savior to as many souls as possible. If I get to do everything else in the process, that would be great, but it is not up to me. Thankfully, it is up to our Creator who is so sovereign.
What do you want to do with the gift of life that God has given you?
I love you dear friends and family, I am praying for you. He is there with open arms for you, and whatever your fear is, give it to Him. It is ok. Will you join me on this God filled ride?
I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her. – Matthew 26:13, NIV
<><
KB
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Why not rush?
No, not that kind of rush. Yes, I was a sorority girl, but this is a different kind of rush I'm talking about. Why not rush to the Cross? Why do we hesitate?
“Lord, I can’t do it anymore. I can’t do this on my own anymore, I give up. I don’t have all the answers, I don’t know what I should do, I don’t know what the best thing is anymore. But I know I want you to do it for me; I want you to figure it out; I want you to take control; I give it all to you, please take it, because I can’t do it.”
This was a prayer I have said to myself in times of my utmost brokenness. This is a prayer I’ve said when I admit that God is God, and I am not. I lay down my pride, and on my face in prayer and in tears, I lay it down.
The last few days I’ve been meditating on so many things from sharing Christ, to global missions, finances, what it means to be wise counsel, what is joy, true wisdom, what direction is God taking me. Most of all, the issue of surrender has come up as a topic that permeates into the above mentioned topics. Surrender is above all of these topics, as I believe surrender comes first – then everything else. What does it mean to truly surrender?
For me, I can tell you surrender is giving up everything for Jesus Christ. EVERYTHING. And not just material stuff. Surrender is admitting that I can’t do it on my own anymore, that I need a Savior. How arrogant are we to think we can do anything without a Savior? Are we really that prideful to believe any credit or glory goes to us?
In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple. – Luke 14:33, NIV
What does that scripture mean to you? The above biblical text is what Jesus said. Did you catch that? The above scripture is what JESUS said. Jesus said if you do not give up everything, you cannot be HIS disciple. Everything. I’ve been really praying and thinking about that the last few days. I’ve been thinking back on the days when I was living comfortably in name brand designer clothes slinging around champagne in the back of expensive convertible Jaguars driven by men who own private jets. I can be totally honest, I definitely was not thinking about that bible verse back then, but I sure claimed to be a disciple of Christ. Wow, was I wrong, or what?
Are you willing to give up everything to be Jesus’s disciple? Think about that for a moment. As I look around my room right now, I have a closet full of clothes, a comfortable queen size bed to sleep on, a TV with a DVD player, an iPhone nearby, clean water to drink, and a swimming pool I can see outside my window. Is fashion really an issue in the kingdom of Christ?
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? – Matthew 6:25, NIV
The above text is also what Jesus said. Jesus, the Son of our Living God who we profess to follow and obey. Jesus said to us, DO NOT worry about our lives; DO NOT worry about what to eat or drink; DO NOT worry about our body; DO NOT worry about what to wear. Jesus said this. To me, this isn’t just an encouraging word, this is a command. Do you think Jesus had a fashion consultant or spent hours shopping at the mall in Nazareth? Do you think Jesus kept a log of what he ate and how many calories? Do you think Jesus stared at himself for hours in the mirror at the gym? Based on the above text of what He is saying, no He did not.
My point is, I want to be like Jesus Christ. I want to love like He loves. I want to trust God like He trusted our Father. And if you are like me, I know you want that too. Based on what God’s word says and what Jesus says, that takes complete and utter surrender to Jesus Christ. I have to admit that I struggle with too many things to mention and surrendering EVERYTHING to Him doesn’t always come easy. However, I’m learning to see myself the way God sees me more everyday. It is a daily surrender – of not just trying to take control, but also surrendering my money, my time, and also surrendering everything I used to be – my old life, my old friends, my old favorite songs, my old favorite movies, my old memories, my old habits, my old definitions of “fun”. I have had to surrender idols in my life such as vanity, appearance, food, excessive working out and exercise, clothes, shopping, materialism, career, men, male attention, money, and the list could go on and on. Again, giving up anything isn’t easy, but when it is for Jesus Christ, I often ask myself, why am I not rushing to the Cross to give it to Him? I mean, I know what He has for me is so much better, I know that. So why do I hesitate? Why do I wallow and cry out to God because I want to hang on to everything old and have everything new at the same time? I can’t have both. I have a choice. I can believe what His word says, or I can let it pass by me like just words on a page in another book.
I ask you to please join me in this journey to surrendering everything to Christ. Let go. Stop carrying it around. You have to give up the old, to get the new. You have to give EVERYTHING to Him. I heard a quote once that said…
“If you lose all that you have, and you are left with only Jesus Christ, you still have everything.”
….I believe this to be true, and I want to live like it. I am praying this kind of faith for you, you who reads this. I have prayed for you before you even read this. Don’t let Satan stand in the way and feed you lies, drop the walls within you, drop your fear, drop your guilt, drop your shame, drop your oppression, drop your defenses, drop your desire to control – drop it. I’m working at this just as you are, and as a body in Christ, we can do this together.
In His Steps,
Kristina
“Lord, I can’t do it anymore. I can’t do this on my own anymore, I give up. I don’t have all the answers, I don’t know what I should do, I don’t know what the best thing is anymore. But I know I want you to do it for me; I want you to figure it out; I want you to take control; I give it all to you, please take it, because I can’t do it.”
This was a prayer I have said to myself in times of my utmost brokenness. This is a prayer I’ve said when I admit that God is God, and I am not. I lay down my pride, and on my face in prayer and in tears, I lay it down.
The last few days I’ve been meditating on so many things from sharing Christ, to global missions, finances, what it means to be wise counsel, what is joy, true wisdom, what direction is God taking me. Most of all, the issue of surrender has come up as a topic that permeates into the above mentioned topics. Surrender is above all of these topics, as I believe surrender comes first – then everything else. What does it mean to truly surrender?
For me, I can tell you surrender is giving up everything for Jesus Christ. EVERYTHING. And not just material stuff. Surrender is admitting that I can’t do it on my own anymore, that I need a Savior. How arrogant are we to think we can do anything without a Savior? Are we really that prideful to believe any credit or glory goes to us?
In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple. – Luke 14:33, NIV
What does that scripture mean to you? The above biblical text is what Jesus said. Did you catch that? The above scripture is what JESUS said. Jesus said if you do not give up everything, you cannot be HIS disciple. Everything. I’ve been really praying and thinking about that the last few days. I’ve been thinking back on the days when I was living comfortably in name brand designer clothes slinging around champagne in the back of expensive convertible Jaguars driven by men who own private jets. I can be totally honest, I definitely was not thinking about that bible verse back then, but I sure claimed to be a disciple of Christ. Wow, was I wrong, or what?
Are you willing to give up everything to be Jesus’s disciple? Think about that for a moment. As I look around my room right now, I have a closet full of clothes, a comfortable queen size bed to sleep on, a TV with a DVD player, an iPhone nearby, clean water to drink, and a swimming pool I can see outside my window. Is fashion really an issue in the kingdom of Christ?
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? – Matthew 6:25, NIV
The above text is also what Jesus said. Jesus, the Son of our Living God who we profess to follow and obey. Jesus said to us, DO NOT worry about our lives; DO NOT worry about what to eat or drink; DO NOT worry about our body; DO NOT worry about what to wear. Jesus said this. To me, this isn’t just an encouraging word, this is a command. Do you think Jesus had a fashion consultant or spent hours shopping at the mall in Nazareth? Do you think Jesus kept a log of what he ate and how many calories? Do you think Jesus stared at himself for hours in the mirror at the gym? Based on the above text of what He is saying, no He did not.
My point is, I want to be like Jesus Christ. I want to love like He loves. I want to trust God like He trusted our Father. And if you are like me, I know you want that too. Based on what God’s word says and what Jesus says, that takes complete and utter surrender to Jesus Christ. I have to admit that I struggle with too many things to mention and surrendering EVERYTHING to Him doesn’t always come easy. However, I’m learning to see myself the way God sees me more everyday. It is a daily surrender – of not just trying to take control, but also surrendering my money, my time, and also surrendering everything I used to be – my old life, my old friends, my old favorite songs, my old favorite movies, my old memories, my old habits, my old definitions of “fun”. I have had to surrender idols in my life such as vanity, appearance, food, excessive working out and exercise, clothes, shopping, materialism, career, men, male attention, money, and the list could go on and on. Again, giving up anything isn’t easy, but when it is for Jesus Christ, I often ask myself, why am I not rushing to the Cross to give it to Him? I mean, I know what He has for me is so much better, I know that. So why do I hesitate? Why do I wallow and cry out to God because I want to hang on to everything old and have everything new at the same time? I can’t have both. I have a choice. I can believe what His word says, or I can let it pass by me like just words on a page in another book.
I ask you to please join me in this journey to surrendering everything to Christ. Let go. Stop carrying it around. You have to give up the old, to get the new. You have to give EVERYTHING to Him. I heard a quote once that said…
“If you lose all that you have, and you are left with only Jesus Christ, you still have everything.”
….I believe this to be true, and I want to live like it. I am praying this kind of faith for you, you who reads this. I have prayed for you before you even read this. Don’t let Satan stand in the way and feed you lies, drop the walls within you, drop your fear, drop your guilt, drop your shame, drop your oppression, drop your defenses, drop your desire to control – drop it. I’m working at this just as you are, and as a body in Christ, we can do this together.
In His Steps,
Kristina
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
A Mission's Eve
I’ve noticed there is some sort of short calm the night before going on a mission trip, long or short. Through the craziness, the running around taking care of vaccinations, getting malaria pills, visa and passport matters, checking off your ‘what to bring’ list, packing, having your last conversations with loved ones for a while, and all the craziness – there is some sort of temporary calm. Almost like a calm before the storm kind of feeling. I believe that temporary quiet is from God, it’s a gift.
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." – Psalm 46:10, NIV
For myself, I often reflect and think, “God, why did you choose to send me? God, what is it that you have to show me out there? What is it you are trying to teach me? God, I don’t know what it is right now, but Lord, I just want to serve you.” I start to wonder how my life will change in the weeks to come. I wonder how deep the little hugs and smiles of orphans or the persecuted will touch my heart. Let’s be honest, it’s not them touching my heart, it’s God using them to do it. It’s Him who is touching my heart – and that is beyond a blessing. I often wonder what it will be like to gaze upon God’s grace and beauty revealed in the countryside around me with the naked eye, a place I’ve never seen or touched before. I wonder how God will use me. Will He use me to bring a hundred people to Christ or none that I know of? Will He use me to sow seeds or water them? It’s that stillness, of knowing when you come back, deep down you know you will not be the same person. You will grow even further away from your old self, and into your new self – the person God wants you to be. You know you will be stripped of yourself, or I pray you will be, so you can be filled with Christ.
He must become greater; I must become less. – John 3:30, NIV
I mention this, not as a mission eve for myself – yet (keep posted for Haiti – August 2010) – but it IS a mission eve for one of my dearest best friends, who is leaving in 3 days for Uganda and Ethiopia, Africa. She is going to share the love of Christ with countless orphans in a very poor and remote land for two weeks. She believes with every ounce, the integrity of her faith is in direct proportion to our concern for the poor (which is indeed all throughout scripture). She strives to not let a day go by sitting full of herself, but craves to be emptied so she can be full of God’s purpose. She radically abandons her comfort, her desires, her own plans, so she can to take up the mission of Jesus Christ – to proclaim His name to the nations. She doesn’t make excuses. She doesn’t say, “oh but if I go to the mission field for two weeks, then I will have no vacation time.” She doesn’t say, “I have no way to pay for it, so I just won’t go.” In fact, she has over raised the cost of the trip exponentially – why? Because it took her faith in believing what scripture says is true. GOD PROVIDES. She believes the Great Commission is not a mere option one decides to do to “teach herself some values” or gain appreciation for what we have in the USA. She believes the Great Commission is a command to be obeyed, a non-negotiable call to go to ALL nations – not just one. Not just her own backyard. Not just her home.
I say this, because I know she won’t say it herself. I say this because in the last month, I have seen an incredible growth in her life for Jesus Christ. I say this because her radical love to serve Jesus Christ in the darkest, most disgusting, most Satan filled, most horrifying, most hurtful places on the earth, begs me to do more than just pray for her. It begs of me to do more than just fast for her, or send her a $50 check. It begs of me to do the same. It begs of me to get out of my bed, get out of my house, and GO. Go and tell people about His undeniable love. Let go of my stuff, let go of my comfort, let go of what I think I want, let go of trying to please everyone, let go of the Louis Vuitton purse and designer jeans, let go of the vacation time I have stored up for me or my family, let go of the relationship I think I have to have, to just let go. And go for God. Just GO. Doesn’t Jesus deserve that? Doesn’t the love of our murdered Savior speak of more than just mere comfort? Our Savior sacrificed His life on the Cross for us, because He loves us, what are you sacrificing for Him?
What I love about my dear friend is that she lives this out, not because she feels commanded and obeys, but because her actions in doing so comes out of a radical love for Jesus Christ. If you ask her if it’s all a sacrifice, she will say no. In fact, I can’t think of one missionary who will tell you letting go and giving up everything to go for God is a sacrifice. Why? Because of what they gain in return. I’m not even sure I can put into words what the gain is, English words cannot even make it comprehensible. The intoxicating love a person can feel from being obedient to the Creator of the universe may not be fit for human words.
On a further note, 17 other people in my life have answered the call of God to get out of their comfort zone and go for God. This team, which includes myself, has been handpicked by God to go to Port-Au-Prince, Haiti to also work with orphans. These 17 people make a team, united by God, to go for Him. This is no small task, this – as is any mission – is straight up going to be used by God for battle. It’s a battle against Satan, and to lay down the love of Christ in the enemy’s absence. This team serves a purpose higher than they may realize, serving Christ in a broken, dirty, Satanic, horror filled, grief stricken place is no small thing. This is serious, and God is very serious about it. This team is choosing to be obedient to Christ, to His word; they are allowing His love to move their steps. As for myself, seeing this team come together for God, not for themselves, but for who He is – is a blessing beyond words. They are going for God. They answered the call and leaving comfort behind.
"'Not called!' did you say? 'Not heard the call,' I think you should say. Put your ear down to the Bible, and hear Him bid you go and pull sinners out of the fire of sin. Put your ear down to the burdened, agonized heart of humanity, and listen to its pitiful wail for help. Go stand by the gates of hell, and hear the damned entreat you to go to their father's house and bid their brothers and sisters and servants and masters not to come there. Then look Christ in the face -- whose mercy you have professed to obey -- and tell Him whether you will join heart and soul and body and circumstances in the march to publish His mercy to the world. -- William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army
Friends, I ask you, I plead with you to pray. Pray for these that go for the cause, for the love of our dear Savior Jesus Christ. I ask you do all you can to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. I pray you do all you can to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. It’s a very beautiful gospel – how God takes me and you, and all our shame, guilt, sin, wreckless lives, and turns it into something so beautiful for His glory. The message of the Cross – the undeniable love of a Savior, isn’t that worth sharing with the world?
Praying you join me in stepping out of our comforts for Christ, for the love of our Savior.
To Make Him Known,
Kristina
"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." – Psalm 46:10, NIV
For myself, I often reflect and think, “God, why did you choose to send me? God, what is it that you have to show me out there? What is it you are trying to teach me? God, I don’t know what it is right now, but Lord, I just want to serve you.” I start to wonder how my life will change in the weeks to come. I wonder how deep the little hugs and smiles of orphans or the persecuted will touch my heart. Let’s be honest, it’s not them touching my heart, it’s God using them to do it. It’s Him who is touching my heart – and that is beyond a blessing. I often wonder what it will be like to gaze upon God’s grace and beauty revealed in the countryside around me with the naked eye, a place I’ve never seen or touched before. I wonder how God will use me. Will He use me to bring a hundred people to Christ or none that I know of? Will He use me to sow seeds or water them? It’s that stillness, of knowing when you come back, deep down you know you will not be the same person. You will grow even further away from your old self, and into your new self – the person God wants you to be. You know you will be stripped of yourself, or I pray you will be, so you can be filled with Christ.
He must become greater; I must become less. – John 3:30, NIV
I mention this, not as a mission eve for myself – yet (keep posted for Haiti – August 2010) – but it IS a mission eve for one of my dearest best friends, who is leaving in 3 days for Uganda and Ethiopia, Africa. She is going to share the love of Christ with countless orphans in a very poor and remote land for two weeks. She believes with every ounce, the integrity of her faith is in direct proportion to our concern for the poor (which is indeed all throughout scripture). She strives to not let a day go by sitting full of herself, but craves to be emptied so she can be full of God’s purpose. She radically abandons her comfort, her desires, her own plans, so she can to take up the mission of Jesus Christ – to proclaim His name to the nations. She doesn’t make excuses. She doesn’t say, “oh but if I go to the mission field for two weeks, then I will have no vacation time.” She doesn’t say, “I have no way to pay for it, so I just won’t go.” In fact, she has over raised the cost of the trip exponentially – why? Because it took her faith in believing what scripture says is true. GOD PROVIDES. She believes the Great Commission is not a mere option one decides to do to “teach herself some values” or gain appreciation for what we have in the USA. She believes the Great Commission is a command to be obeyed, a non-negotiable call to go to ALL nations – not just one. Not just her own backyard. Not just her home.
I say this, because I know she won’t say it herself. I say this because in the last month, I have seen an incredible growth in her life for Jesus Christ. I say this because her radical love to serve Jesus Christ in the darkest, most disgusting, most Satan filled, most horrifying, most hurtful places on the earth, begs me to do more than just pray for her. It begs of me to do more than just fast for her, or send her a $50 check. It begs of me to do the same. It begs of me to get out of my bed, get out of my house, and GO. Go and tell people about His undeniable love. Let go of my stuff, let go of my comfort, let go of what I think I want, let go of trying to please everyone, let go of the Louis Vuitton purse and designer jeans, let go of the vacation time I have stored up for me or my family, let go of the relationship I think I have to have, to just let go. And go for God. Just GO. Doesn’t Jesus deserve that? Doesn’t the love of our murdered Savior speak of more than just mere comfort? Our Savior sacrificed His life on the Cross for us, because He loves us, what are you sacrificing for Him?
What I love about my dear friend is that she lives this out, not because she feels commanded and obeys, but because her actions in doing so comes out of a radical love for Jesus Christ. If you ask her if it’s all a sacrifice, she will say no. In fact, I can’t think of one missionary who will tell you letting go and giving up everything to go for God is a sacrifice. Why? Because of what they gain in return. I’m not even sure I can put into words what the gain is, English words cannot even make it comprehensible. The intoxicating love a person can feel from being obedient to the Creator of the universe may not be fit for human words.
On a further note, 17 other people in my life have answered the call of God to get out of their comfort zone and go for God. This team, which includes myself, has been handpicked by God to go to Port-Au-Prince, Haiti to also work with orphans. These 17 people make a team, united by God, to go for Him. This is no small task, this – as is any mission – is straight up going to be used by God for battle. It’s a battle against Satan, and to lay down the love of Christ in the enemy’s absence. This team serves a purpose higher than they may realize, serving Christ in a broken, dirty, Satanic, horror filled, grief stricken place is no small thing. This is serious, and God is very serious about it. This team is choosing to be obedient to Christ, to His word; they are allowing His love to move their steps. As for myself, seeing this team come together for God, not for themselves, but for who He is – is a blessing beyond words. They are going for God. They answered the call and leaving comfort behind.
"'Not called!' did you say? 'Not heard the call,' I think you should say. Put your ear down to the Bible, and hear Him bid you go and pull sinners out of the fire of sin. Put your ear down to the burdened, agonized heart of humanity, and listen to its pitiful wail for help. Go stand by the gates of hell, and hear the damned entreat you to go to their father's house and bid their brothers and sisters and servants and masters not to come there. Then look Christ in the face -- whose mercy you have professed to obey -- and tell Him whether you will join heart and soul and body and circumstances in the march to publish His mercy to the world. -- William Booth, founder of the Salvation Army
Friends, I ask you, I plead with you to pray. Pray for these that go for the cause, for the love of our dear Savior Jesus Christ. I ask you do all you can to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. I pray you do all you can to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. It’s a very beautiful gospel – how God takes me and you, and all our shame, guilt, sin, wreckless lives, and turns it into something so beautiful for His glory. The message of the Cross – the undeniable love of a Savior, isn’t that worth sharing with the world?
Praying you join me in stepping out of our comforts for Christ, for the love of our Savior.
To Make Him Known,
Kristina
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Granam's Story
This past Sunday, as I pushed pasta around my plate with a fork in an air conditioned restaurant over conversation with friends after church, our discussion once again turned to Granam. This story I’ve told a number of times, and since it has come up many more times just since Sunday, I’ve decided to recapture it for God’s glory.
At the end of April in 2009, I traveled with a team of 10 to Damascus, Syria to support the local church and work with Iraqi refugees. On one particular day while I was there, I encountered a man who reflected the character of Christ more than anyone I may have ever met in my life. We began the morning with a few of us walking over to Anania’s house where we had a time of prayer. (Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, "Brother Saul, the Lord-Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here-has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit." – Acts 9:17, NIV) Yes, Ananias, the same guy in the bible who prayed over Paul for the scales to drop from his eyes when he was Saul, and the same guy who took communion with Paul in his house. We were praying in that house – the same exact house. It was amazing. Just an hour later, God shook my world when I met Granam.
We had walked the quick 5 minutes back to the church to prepare for lunch. There was a man who had just arrived sitting in a chair with a crutch and his son, who appeared to be about 18 years old. I walked over and the man had started explaining to Fadi, our translator, what had happened. The man, Granam, officially renounced his Muslim faith that day (evidently). He has been living as a Christian, former Muslim (or MBB - Muslim background believer), so the official renouncing and giving his life to Christ is a huge deal. You see, Granam was living as a Christian, but had not been baptized. According to Sharia law (the Islamic faith), when a Muslim is baptized, he/she can never return to the Islamic faith and the consequences are death. Granam just arrived from Baghdad apparently days ago with his family. In Baghdad, he was going to an Assyrian church. Some Islamic extremists (terrorists) stormed the church, shot the priest, and his wife fled with the priest’s children and their own children. Granam was captured and tortured unbelievably. No, actually words may not even convey how horrible the torture Granam endured. You see, Granam was a hairdresser in Baghdad, that was how he earned a living. So, the terrorists cut off his fingers with scissors so he couldn’t earn a living anymore - but he still is adamant on wearing his wedding band (which is placed on just a mere nub of what used to be his finger). They cut open his leg and pulled his ligaments and tissue apart, so he walks with a crutch and a brace on his leg. They took a tool drill (close to what you would drill into a wall with, he said) and drilled a whole into the side of his head through his temple, on the right side. Then they took the drill and drilled into his chest. The terrorists told him that if he wants to live like Jesus Christ, they will treat him like Jesus Christ by putting holes into his body. At that point, I lost it. Couldn't stop crying, Fida, Fadi’s wife, even burst into tears, as did Joun's mother (the Pastor's wife). It made me think.....we are so incredibly selfish, and I am so unworthy to even pray for this man. I felt soooooo sick to my stomach just hearing what such evil has been done to him, simply because he professed his love for Jesus Christ, our sweet Savior.....and without even officially being baptized! Russell, one of our teammates, told him we would pray for him, and Granam’s response is one I will never forget for the rest of my life: "You do not have to pray for me, pray for everyone. Christ did not pray for himself, and I want to be like Christ. Please pray for the world, because that is what Christ did." What do you even say to that? I couldn't sit at lunch, so I walked into Pastor Samara's office. I couldn't stop crying so Joun prayed for the man who we had just met. This man, Granam, is our brother in Christ, and we are all one body - so whatever affects him, impacts us as well. It was very powerful, this man's story had a huge impact on all of our lives.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. – Romans 12:14, NIV
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you – Matthew 5:44, NIV
This man, Granam, lived out this character. He wanted….no, he craved, to bless those who persecuted him. He wanted to pray for the world, and those who almost sent him to his death simply because he loved Jesus Christ. I ask you this tough question, when people hurt us, spit on us, insult us, mock us, challenge us because of our faith, do we pray for them? Do we seek to love them as Christ calls us to? This is tough, but Christ also knew this was a trademark of His character.
By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. – John 13:35, NIV
We are called to love the unlovable, even those who do not love us back. People can feel love, even if they do not return it. Think of the mentally and physically handicapped orphan in Haiti, she is physically unable to give you a hug – to love you back for giving her a small gift or a smile. Is she any less worthy of love than the terrorist who persecutes us? No. They are both worthy of love, even if they are not able to return it. Loving people for Christ is a selfless act, it’s not about us, but about being His hands and feet to ALL nations. Jesus said:
If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? – Matthew 5:46, NIV
Granam’s life, his faith, his unabashed thirst to live like Christ has changed and impacted my life forever. Sitting at the feet of this man while he shared his story, felt much like sitting at the feet of Christ himself. A week after our team left, Granam was baptized into the faith. I can’t wait to see Granam again, if not on this earth, than in heaven – where we will all speak the same language, no translator needed.
Praying for you!!
To Make Him Known,
Kristina
**Granam's name was changed to protect his identity.
At the end of April in 2009, I traveled with a team of 10 to Damascus, Syria to support the local church and work with Iraqi refugees. On one particular day while I was there, I encountered a man who reflected the character of Christ more than anyone I may have ever met in my life. We began the morning with a few of us walking over to Anania’s house where we had a time of prayer. (Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, "Brother Saul, the Lord-Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here-has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit." – Acts 9:17, NIV) Yes, Ananias, the same guy in the bible who prayed over Paul for the scales to drop from his eyes when he was Saul, and the same guy who took communion with Paul in his house. We were praying in that house – the same exact house. It was amazing. Just an hour later, God shook my world when I met Granam.
We had walked the quick 5 minutes back to the church to prepare for lunch. There was a man who had just arrived sitting in a chair with a crutch and his son, who appeared to be about 18 years old. I walked over and the man had started explaining to Fadi, our translator, what had happened. The man, Granam, officially renounced his Muslim faith that day (evidently). He has been living as a Christian, former Muslim (or MBB - Muslim background believer), so the official renouncing and giving his life to Christ is a huge deal. You see, Granam was living as a Christian, but had not been baptized. According to Sharia law (the Islamic faith), when a Muslim is baptized, he/she can never return to the Islamic faith and the consequences are death. Granam just arrived from Baghdad apparently days ago with his family. In Baghdad, he was going to an Assyrian church. Some Islamic extremists (terrorists) stormed the church, shot the priest, and his wife fled with the priest’s children and their own children. Granam was captured and tortured unbelievably. No, actually words may not even convey how horrible the torture Granam endured. You see, Granam was a hairdresser in Baghdad, that was how he earned a living. So, the terrorists cut off his fingers with scissors so he couldn’t earn a living anymore - but he still is adamant on wearing his wedding band (which is placed on just a mere nub of what used to be his finger). They cut open his leg and pulled his ligaments and tissue apart, so he walks with a crutch and a brace on his leg. They took a tool drill (close to what you would drill into a wall with, he said) and drilled a whole into the side of his head through his temple, on the right side. Then they took the drill and drilled into his chest. The terrorists told him that if he wants to live like Jesus Christ, they will treat him like Jesus Christ by putting holes into his body. At that point, I lost it. Couldn't stop crying, Fida, Fadi’s wife, even burst into tears, as did Joun's mother (the Pastor's wife). It made me think.....we are so incredibly selfish, and I am so unworthy to even pray for this man. I felt soooooo sick to my stomach just hearing what such evil has been done to him, simply because he professed his love for Jesus Christ, our sweet Savior.....and without even officially being baptized! Russell, one of our teammates, told him we would pray for him, and Granam’s response is one I will never forget for the rest of my life: "You do not have to pray for me, pray for everyone. Christ did not pray for himself, and I want to be like Christ. Please pray for the world, because that is what Christ did." What do you even say to that? I couldn't sit at lunch, so I walked into Pastor Samara's office. I couldn't stop crying so Joun prayed for the man who we had just met. This man, Granam, is our brother in Christ, and we are all one body - so whatever affects him, impacts us as well. It was very powerful, this man's story had a huge impact on all of our lives.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. – Romans 12:14, NIV
But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you – Matthew 5:44, NIV
This man, Granam, lived out this character. He wanted….no, he craved, to bless those who persecuted him. He wanted to pray for the world, and those who almost sent him to his death simply because he loved Jesus Christ. I ask you this tough question, when people hurt us, spit on us, insult us, mock us, challenge us because of our faith, do we pray for them? Do we seek to love them as Christ calls us to? This is tough, but Christ also knew this was a trademark of His character.
By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. – John 13:35, NIV
We are called to love the unlovable, even those who do not love us back. People can feel love, even if they do not return it. Think of the mentally and physically handicapped orphan in Haiti, she is physically unable to give you a hug – to love you back for giving her a small gift or a smile. Is she any less worthy of love than the terrorist who persecutes us? No. They are both worthy of love, even if they are not able to return it. Loving people for Christ is a selfless act, it’s not about us, but about being His hands and feet to ALL nations. Jesus said:
If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? – Matthew 5:46, NIV
Granam’s life, his faith, his unabashed thirst to live like Christ has changed and impacted my life forever. Sitting at the feet of this man while he shared his story, felt much like sitting at the feet of Christ himself. A week after our team left, Granam was baptized into the faith. I can’t wait to see Granam again, if not on this earth, than in heaven – where we will all speak the same language, no translator needed.
Praying for you!!
To Make Him Known,
Kristina
**Granam's name was changed to protect his identity.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Cling to the Cross
Today is a day I will most likely never forget for the rest of my life. I know at times, I fail to make this blog as personal as I intended, today is not one of those days. I'm going to get personal here.
This morning, at 7:30 am, my dear sweet Papaw (my grandfather, and mother's father), took his last breath in my Granny's arms, with me at his side, my Mom holding his right hand, while he held a wooden Cross in his left hand. The reason I walk you through this moment, is because I KNOW God was so very present. My Papaw opened his eyes briefly, from his tired body of fighting the last few days from a heart attack, kidney failure, asbestosis, and Alzheimer's. He gazed at his wife, my Granny, as she said through tear-stained eyes, "Go sweet baby! Go! You can go be at peace now my dear....I love you, I thank you, and now you go. Go and be with Jesus." And that was it. He took one last breath, and he was gone. His heart stopped beating and he walked from earth into eternity.
In those last minutes, I know the suffering was becoming quite unbearable, not just for my Papaw obviously, but also for my Granny, my Mom, and myself. I was praying to God, and I've never asked Him to take a life, however, I made an exception this time. I prayed, "God, I know you have a purpose in this because your Word says you do. I know each breath we take serves a purpose for your Kingdom. God, please show me your purpose in this. Please take away my grandfather's suffering, and let him go in peace." God not only solidified my faith in Him and in prayer, but He showed me His purpose. You see, my selfish side, wanted to hold his left hand. I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to let him cling to his cross with the left hand and just lay hands on his shoulder. I obeyed, probably because I didn't know what else to do. As he passed, I realized, this is how we should ALL be remembered, by clinging to THE CROSS. I cried, no I bawled. I wailed.
I will share something with you, I want to be known as the lady who clings to the Cross. In my last moments of life, I want people to know I clung to the Cross, the one single act of undeniable LOVE and grace given to us by our Lord Jesus Christ, for all that I had. Instead of being exhausted from having a "wild ride" of a life as some like to say or quote, I want to be remembered for having a radical love for Jesus Christ and holding close to Him every breath of the day. I want my body to be completely exhausted from serving Him, and in that last moment, in my hand, is a Cross.
I heard a quote once that said, "A man can say he has faith, but his life proves it." There are not truer words to describe my grandfather. His faith was lived out throughout his life.
As a granddaughter who was close with this wonderful man, I cannot tell you the comfort if brings to absolutely know, with 100% certainty, that I know he is in heaven with our Savior. I've known some folks or two, who I have not been certain they made it to heaven. Why? I'm not certain their life has proved they have faith in our Savior. Not for me to judge, but I would say, if you have a choice in how you live your life, why leave any room for doubt with your loved ones. If you are not certain right now, I encourage you, humble yourself and pray to the One, our Jesus Christ. Ask Him to be saved, and get involved in a bible-based believing church TODAY. Where ever you are, DO NOT leave your loved ones with room to question where you are going. "I'm a good person" does not cut it, I'm afraid. How does your life tell others you love Jesus? Do you love what He loves? Do you reject sin that He rejects? Please let others be able to see your life, and say, "He definitely loved the Lord. He clung to the Cross, no matter what." Please do this, not just for yourself, not just for your loved ones, but for the One who has loved you from before you were born.
As I close this day, I'm reminded of a few scriptures I'd like to share. I once thought about what my biggest compliment in life is, and what I'd like for it to be. Sadly, none of you will be able to give me the biggest compliment I hope to receive. However, Jesus holds that key. A dear friend sent me a text message today after I revealed the news to her, and the only reply said, "Precious, I am so glad you made it here." How beautiful is that?! When I walk from earth into eternity, my heart just melts at the thought of Jesus looking at me, face-to-face, and saying, "Precious girl, I am so glad you made it here!" Shortly after, the biggest compliment I believe any of us could receive, is this:
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!' - Matthew 25:23, NIV
To friends and family who have prayed, and are praying for us right now, I thank you. Words cannot do justice how thankful I am for you. A dear friend of mine came to pray over my grandfather less than 12 hours before his passing; new friends from my new church continuously checking in on me and my family expressing prayer and love; constant little text messages and facebook messages of condolences and prayer with love; you ALL are angels on this earth to me through this experience. God knew what we needed, and He sent you to come alongside of me - and my family - through this, and be the hands and feet of Jesus. I thank you for that. My scripture to YOU, is this:
Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation? - Hebrews 1:14, NIV
I love you and I'm praying for you. Cling to His Cross, no matter what - in good and in bad. He loves you.
<><
Kristina
This morning, at 7:30 am, my dear sweet Papaw (my grandfather, and mother's father), took his last breath in my Granny's arms, with me at his side, my Mom holding his right hand, while he held a wooden Cross in his left hand. The reason I walk you through this moment, is because I KNOW God was so very present. My Papaw opened his eyes briefly, from his tired body of fighting the last few days from a heart attack, kidney failure, asbestosis, and Alzheimer's. He gazed at his wife, my Granny, as she said through tear-stained eyes, "Go sweet baby! Go! You can go be at peace now my dear....I love you, I thank you, and now you go. Go and be with Jesus." And that was it. He took one last breath, and he was gone. His heart stopped beating and he walked from earth into eternity.
In those last minutes, I know the suffering was becoming quite unbearable, not just for my Papaw obviously, but also for my Granny, my Mom, and myself. I was praying to God, and I've never asked Him to take a life, however, I made an exception this time. I prayed, "God, I know you have a purpose in this because your Word says you do. I know each breath we take serves a purpose for your Kingdom. God, please show me your purpose in this. Please take away my grandfather's suffering, and let him go in peace." God not only solidified my faith in Him and in prayer, but He showed me His purpose. You see, my selfish side, wanted to hold his left hand. I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to let him cling to his cross with the left hand and just lay hands on his shoulder. I obeyed, probably because I didn't know what else to do. As he passed, I realized, this is how we should ALL be remembered, by clinging to THE CROSS. I cried, no I bawled. I wailed.
I will share something with you, I want to be known as the lady who clings to the Cross. In my last moments of life, I want people to know I clung to the Cross, the one single act of undeniable LOVE and grace given to us by our Lord Jesus Christ, for all that I had. Instead of being exhausted from having a "wild ride" of a life as some like to say or quote, I want to be remembered for having a radical love for Jesus Christ and holding close to Him every breath of the day. I want my body to be completely exhausted from serving Him, and in that last moment, in my hand, is a Cross.
I heard a quote once that said, "A man can say he has faith, but his life proves it." There are not truer words to describe my grandfather. His faith was lived out throughout his life.
As a granddaughter who was close with this wonderful man, I cannot tell you the comfort if brings to absolutely know, with 100% certainty, that I know he is in heaven with our Savior. I've known some folks or two, who I have not been certain they made it to heaven. Why? I'm not certain their life has proved they have faith in our Savior. Not for me to judge, but I would say, if you have a choice in how you live your life, why leave any room for doubt with your loved ones. If you are not certain right now, I encourage you, humble yourself and pray to the One, our Jesus Christ. Ask Him to be saved, and get involved in a bible-based believing church TODAY. Where ever you are, DO NOT leave your loved ones with room to question where you are going. "I'm a good person" does not cut it, I'm afraid. How does your life tell others you love Jesus? Do you love what He loves? Do you reject sin that He rejects? Please let others be able to see your life, and say, "He definitely loved the Lord. He clung to the Cross, no matter what." Please do this, not just for yourself, not just for your loved ones, but for the One who has loved you from before you were born.
As I close this day, I'm reminded of a few scriptures I'd like to share. I once thought about what my biggest compliment in life is, and what I'd like for it to be. Sadly, none of you will be able to give me the biggest compliment I hope to receive. However, Jesus holds that key. A dear friend sent me a text message today after I revealed the news to her, and the only reply said, "Precious, I am so glad you made it here." How beautiful is that?! When I walk from earth into eternity, my heart just melts at the thought of Jesus looking at me, face-to-face, and saying, "Precious girl, I am so glad you made it here!" Shortly after, the biggest compliment I believe any of us could receive, is this:
"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!' - Matthew 25:23, NIV
To friends and family who have prayed, and are praying for us right now, I thank you. Words cannot do justice how thankful I am for you. A dear friend of mine came to pray over my grandfather less than 12 hours before his passing; new friends from my new church continuously checking in on me and my family expressing prayer and love; constant little text messages and facebook messages of condolences and prayer with love; you ALL are angels on this earth to me through this experience. God knew what we needed, and He sent you to come alongside of me - and my family - through this, and be the hands and feet of Jesus. I thank you for that. My scripture to YOU, is this:
Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation? - Hebrews 1:14, NIV
I love you and I'm praying for you. Cling to His Cross, no matter what - in good and in bad. He loves you.
<><
Kristina
Thursday, April 15, 2010
It IS Hard.
It’s hard. No, it’s not just hard, it’s really hard. To let go. You know, any usual day, I don’t feel I have a mega challenge with letting go, but today, I am. Maybe because I feel sentimental, or maybe it’s because I really did have fun back then, but no matter how you cut the cake – it is truly difficult letting go of people from your past who prevent you from growing in your walk with Christ. You know the people I’m talking about? In your not-so-Christ-centered days, these people will drive you to the bar and rehash the entire night with you, but won’t go near church with a ten foot pole – so asking them to rehash an encounter you had with Jesus, is just out of the question.
The Reason: These people are a part of your life, or were a part of your life. They may have been a shoulder to cry on, a drinking buddy, a partner in crime, an old boyfriend or girlfriend, a former hook up, a party pal, an accomplice, former skipping-school friend, an old roommate….the list goes on. Bottom line – they become a part of your history, and this is what makes it truly challenging to move forward without them. You want them desperately to be a part of your life now and moving forward, but you know it just isn’t going to be healthy for either one of you. Why? Because when you get around each other, you don’t bring out the Christ in each other, in fact, Jesus may be miles away when you two get together. Does any of this sound familiar?
Now, I’m not saying go through your roll-a-dex or Facebook account and de-friend everyone who doesn’t text or email you scriptures, or pray with you, or come to church with you. No. What I mean here is, when we grow in Christ – as we mature with the Lord – there are some times these people, who hold a special place in our heart, who just don’t share our love for Christ. In fact, it might be safe to say, they love the “old you” more than they love our Savior Jesus Christ. These people can usually take us right back to our “old self” with one phone call, or only hanging out one time, it may not take much to give Satan that foot hold. These people mean well, and we want so very badly for them to love Christ just as much as we do – but the reality is, they just aren’t seeing Him the way we see Him. And it hurts. A lot. It may make our hearts physically hurt.
I have one of these folks in (or out) of my life, and I can tell you, it’s tough. Sure, we argue like friends do, and get into intense discussions about faith….I pray for this person deeply, all the time. I love this person, and care for them very much. However, for the last 7 years or so, it continues to hit me square in the face, I cannot rescue this person from the choices they make; I cannot save them; I cannot stay in relationship with this person because they have a unique power (which I give them) to drag me right back into my “old self” with such a careless attitude. I offered myself as an instrument of sin with this person, and ignored the Holy Spirit promptings within me to stop. I was having “fun” with this person back in the old scene. Then after a night of fun, I would wake up feeling incredibly empty. I can assure you, this feeling of “emptiness” has only amplified and increased over time, especially the more I grow in my walk with Christ, the emptiness after time with this person intensifies and causes me deep confusion. It hurts. It hurts because I want so badly for this person to see how much Jesus Christ loves them; it hurts because I want so badly for them to just surrender EVERYTHING to God and let Jesus be their Lord; it hurts because I often feel like I care about this person more than they care about themself.
For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin, - Romans 6:6, NIV
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; - Ephesians 4:22, NIV
Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices, - Colossians 3:9, NIV
The old is gone and the new is here! I have learned that these people who come into our lives for a season, have served their purpose in our lives. If they are causing me to stumble, I have to (gasp!) – let go. Even as I write that, I take a deep breath, because it is so hard. My new definition for having “fun” on Friday and Saturday nights, is not the same as it was 7 years ago – however, for these people, the definition of “fun” has not changed, it fails to honor God. When you have a desire to honor God, and these dear people do not, it is difficult to grow in relationship with this person. Therefore, we end up sacrificing our walk with the Lord, for relationship with these people – and I tell you, this is not a sacrifice we can afford to make. Why? Because God wants better for us than that, God wants better for these people in our lives too – but they need to realize that, and we can’t be their Savior, they already have a man who died on a Cross for them to know how much they are loved as their Savior.
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11, NIV
He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it. – Titus 1:9, NIV
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. – Hebrews 3:13, NIV
Friends, let’s encourage each other as His word says; let us not allow Satan to use these dear people in our lives to drag us back into sin or an old lifestyle we have been broke from; Jesus already paid the price for our sins, and for us to flee from our life of sin to follow Him. It’s like an ex-relationship, why do you want to go back? Because when things are going great with a new relationship, some times that thought creeps in, “I did have fun back then! I kind of want to go back to that, just for a little bit….” Because it feels comfortable. A life with Christ will be challenging, and it will have joy, but don’t let the challenges convince you to go back to an “old life” because it was comfortable. You are a NEW creation in Christ! (2 Corinthians 5:17) Don’t just believe in God, believe God! We can stand together as brothers and sisters in Christ and overcome the temptations to fall back into our old lifestyles. The Christ in us can defeat the enemy. If you need to let go of these lost dear people in your life who will drag you back to sin, let go. Trust me, it’s not easy, but it’s better to let go and know you are being encouraged to grow in Christ, than to hang on to these old relationships and be encouraged to fall back into sin. I know you move forward and defeat the enemy! I believe in the God who is in you!
Praying for you my dear friends! It may be hard, in fact, Christ never said it would be easy, He just said it would be worth it!
<><
KB
The Reason: These people are a part of your life, or were a part of your life. They may have been a shoulder to cry on, a drinking buddy, a partner in crime, an old boyfriend or girlfriend, a former hook up, a party pal, an accomplice, former skipping-school friend, an old roommate….the list goes on. Bottom line – they become a part of your history, and this is what makes it truly challenging to move forward without them. You want them desperately to be a part of your life now and moving forward, but you know it just isn’t going to be healthy for either one of you. Why? Because when you get around each other, you don’t bring out the Christ in each other, in fact, Jesus may be miles away when you two get together. Does any of this sound familiar?
Now, I’m not saying go through your roll-a-dex or Facebook account and de-friend everyone who doesn’t text or email you scriptures, or pray with you, or come to church with you. No. What I mean here is, when we grow in Christ – as we mature with the Lord – there are some times these people, who hold a special place in our heart, who just don’t share our love for Christ. In fact, it might be safe to say, they love the “old you” more than they love our Savior Jesus Christ. These people can usually take us right back to our “old self” with one phone call, or only hanging out one time, it may not take much to give Satan that foot hold. These people mean well, and we want so very badly for them to love Christ just as much as we do – but the reality is, they just aren’t seeing Him the way we see Him. And it hurts. A lot. It may make our hearts physically hurt.
I have one of these folks in (or out) of my life, and I can tell you, it’s tough. Sure, we argue like friends do, and get into intense discussions about faith….I pray for this person deeply, all the time. I love this person, and care for them very much. However, for the last 7 years or so, it continues to hit me square in the face, I cannot rescue this person from the choices they make; I cannot save them; I cannot stay in relationship with this person because they have a unique power (which I give them) to drag me right back into my “old self” with such a careless attitude. I offered myself as an instrument of sin with this person, and ignored the Holy Spirit promptings within me to stop. I was having “fun” with this person back in the old scene. Then after a night of fun, I would wake up feeling incredibly empty. I can assure you, this feeling of “emptiness” has only amplified and increased over time, especially the more I grow in my walk with Christ, the emptiness after time with this person intensifies and causes me deep confusion. It hurts. It hurts because I want so badly for this person to see how much Jesus Christ loves them; it hurts because I want so badly for them to just surrender EVERYTHING to God and let Jesus be their Lord; it hurts because I often feel like I care about this person more than they care about themself.
For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin, - Romans 6:6, NIV
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; - Ephesians 4:22, NIV
Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices, - Colossians 3:9, NIV
The old is gone and the new is here! I have learned that these people who come into our lives for a season, have served their purpose in our lives. If they are causing me to stumble, I have to (gasp!) – let go. Even as I write that, I take a deep breath, because it is so hard. My new definition for having “fun” on Friday and Saturday nights, is not the same as it was 7 years ago – however, for these people, the definition of “fun” has not changed, it fails to honor God. When you have a desire to honor God, and these dear people do not, it is difficult to grow in relationship with this person. Therefore, we end up sacrificing our walk with the Lord, for relationship with these people – and I tell you, this is not a sacrifice we can afford to make. Why? Because God wants better for us than that, God wants better for these people in our lives too – but they need to realize that, and we can’t be their Savior, they already have a man who died on a Cross for them to know how much they are loved as their Savior.
Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11, NIV
He must hold firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught, so that he can encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it. – Titus 1:9, NIV
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. – Hebrews 3:13, NIV
Friends, let’s encourage each other as His word says; let us not allow Satan to use these dear people in our lives to drag us back into sin or an old lifestyle we have been broke from; Jesus already paid the price for our sins, and for us to flee from our life of sin to follow Him. It’s like an ex-relationship, why do you want to go back? Because when things are going great with a new relationship, some times that thought creeps in, “I did have fun back then! I kind of want to go back to that, just for a little bit….” Because it feels comfortable. A life with Christ will be challenging, and it will have joy, but don’t let the challenges convince you to go back to an “old life” because it was comfortable. You are a NEW creation in Christ! (2 Corinthians 5:17) Don’t just believe in God, believe God! We can stand together as brothers and sisters in Christ and overcome the temptations to fall back into our old lifestyles. The Christ in us can defeat the enemy. If you need to let go of these lost dear people in your life who will drag you back to sin, let go. Trust me, it’s not easy, but it’s better to let go and know you are being encouraged to grow in Christ, than to hang on to these old relationships and be encouraged to fall back into sin. I know you move forward and defeat the enemy! I believe in the God who is in you!
Praying for you my dear friends! It may be hard, in fact, Christ never said it would be easy, He just said it would be worth it!
<><
KB
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Redemption: A Gift from Our Redeemer
The concept of redemption has been heavy on my mind over the last few weeks. Call it the “Easter season” or just God stirring something in my heart, but I’ve been noticing redemption – everywhere. I consider it to be one of the biggest blessings I can experience, to see people experiencing redemption and coming to know God as their Redeemer. First, let’s look the word redemption…
According to www.dictionary.com, redemption is:
re•demp•tion - [ri-demp-shuh n] – noun
1) deliverance; rescue.
2) Theology. deliverance from sin; salvation.
3) atonement for guilt.
4) repurchase, as of something sold.
5) paying off, as of a mortgage, bond, or note.
6) recovery by payment, as of something pledged.
When we claim God as our Redeemer, we acknowledge Him as rescuing us from our old self; we allow Him to deliver us from our sin; we depend on Him for our salvation; we acknowledge that He paid the ultimate price for us; it is paid. It is paid in full. He atoned for sins. We cannot atone for our own sins because the price would be too great, God already came – for you and me – and paid the price of our sins. He redeemed us. Do you see how great a gift we have? Jesus Christ, God in man form, came and was mocked, flogged, whipped, beat, spit on, harassed, shoved, kicked, jeered at, crushed, speared, punctured, and lastly, was murdered in a most grueling death because HE LOVES US. The wrath of God has already been poured out on the shoulders of Jesus Christ, so we wouldn’t have to bear it.
“He has drained the last dark drops of the cup of God’s wrath; there’s nothing left but love for me.’ Because I am justified, I will never experientially know the wrath of a Holy God. Because of the cross, I now am slowly exploring the infinite reaches of His love. Throughout all eternity I will never find the limits of His love. There are none.” – Dr. Larry Crabb
We like to think we can conceptualize God’s love because we assume we know how God thinks, and many times we like to think we know because God made us and we read His Word - and that's got to be enough? Right? We also like to think since God made us, and we are made in His image, and if we are made in His image than He must be like us. We are not the standard my friends. God is the standard and we are to be like Him, and we fail at reflecting His character every day. It’s not God failing at being like us – His love is so much greater than how we love, just as His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We will never be able to out think God or out love God, it is impossible. God’s love will not always make sense to us, just as I’m sure it did not make sense to those watching Jesus give mercy to the adulterous woman. Let's see it unfold:
In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. – John 8:5-6, NIV
Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin." When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." ……You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one. – John 8:10-15, NIV
I have to confess, this is one of my all-time favorite stories of Jesus. It says so much about His character, and the character of our loving Father. Regardless of how much we have sinned and how messed up we are, God comes in and rescues us. God fights for us. HE is our knight in shining armor. He is our warrior on the battle field. He is our valiant leader. He is our great Redeemer. He takes something we might think is so ugly, used, messed up, jacked up, and horrible, and He turns it into something so incredibly beautiful. He redeems this woman, and He redeems us too - no matter what sin we have committed. He is our great Redeemer! ...and our Redeemer lives!
Let's us not forget, we have to want to be redeemed. God's love and grace is not a license to sin at wreckless abandon, we must not abuse His sweetly given grace and love. We are called to repent of our sins, and in our repentance, He grants us mercy - not judgment. We emerge forgiven, having been made new. God makes all things new and beautiful, if you let Him. He calls us to give Him EVERY area of our lives, for His glory. I do not want to hold on to any area of my life, industriously planning away for my own, when I can give it to God to plan for me. In His plan, He uses my mess-ups, my junk, what I think is ugly and shameful - He uses for His glory by turning it into something beautiful. Truly, only God can do this....He is so AMAZING! When God can do this with your sin, why would you not want to repent and let Him take all the darkness away? Trust Him, He can do it. Letting go of sin means stepping out of your comfort zone for God, but it is so incredibly, undeniably worth it! You can repent without fear of judgment if you love Him and acknowledge Jesus as your sweet Savior.
…because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment! – James 2:13, NIV
Right there, plain as day. Grace triumphs over judgment! God’s grace, what He did on the cross, covers our sin – no wrath for the believer, the price has been paid in FULL. Wow, the phrase “amazing love” doesn’t even do it justice. That is a love which not only knows no bounds, but has limits we cannot even fathom. Our finite human minds cannot even comprehend the amount of God’s love for us. No matter how much we try, I do not think we can fully know the depth of God’s love – it is just so big, so great, so beautiful. Don’t you want to follow a God who keeps no record of wrongs for those who love Him? Loving like God is something I undoubtedly fail at every single day. One exercise to try is this:
Think of it like a “test” of sorts. Since we know God is love (1 John 4), we can be fully confident knowing exhibits this as His character. This little “test” is one I learned from Dr. Ed Young, when he mentioned it during a sermon on love in Fall 2009. Give it a try! In the verse below, for each word that says “love” or “it” exchange it with your name. For example, “Sally is patient, Sally is kind” (and so forth…).
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NIV
How did you do? I know I have a lot to work on! Now exchange the word “love” or “it” with God, and you will see a glimpse of His character. Isn’t He just so good?!
Don’t be discouraged! We can work on this as a church, together, learning to love how He loves and give grace how He gives grace. We are without a doubt called to speak truth in love to each other, however, we need to remember Jesus was not a critic. Jesus was instructive, not destructive when He spoke the truth in love. He is our ultimate counselor, and those He was most angry with were the Pharisees – who thought they were doing everything right by simply abiding by the Law. Let’s focus on the Cross! We can learn how God loves and how God shows mercy by studying His word, which inherently helps us in studying His character. We can also know His character by our personal experiences with Him – which is what He deeply longs for most, to have our hearts.
Friends, I love our Lord so much. And I want to love like He does, and give grace like He does. Will you join me in wanting to be more like Him? Let’s give it our all, Jesus gave us His all. Let’s join in being more patient, more kind, releasing jealousy, releasing record of wrongs; let’s be more trustworthy and rejoice in the truth; let’s not boast, let’s not be proud, let’s not be rude or self-seeking; let’s not get easily angered; let’s always hope and always persevere. We can do this! We can love because He first loved us. We can’t have that kind of love on our own, we need our Heavenly Father to love like He does.
Love you friends, and praying for you! We are redeemed because He loves us more than we can imagine! He is our great Redeemer!
<><
K
According to www.dictionary.com, redemption is:
re•demp•tion - [ri-demp-shuh n] – noun
1) deliverance; rescue.
2) Theology. deliverance from sin; salvation.
3) atonement for guilt.
4) repurchase, as of something sold.
5) paying off, as of a mortgage, bond, or note.
6) recovery by payment, as of something pledged.
When we claim God as our Redeemer, we acknowledge Him as rescuing us from our old self; we allow Him to deliver us from our sin; we depend on Him for our salvation; we acknowledge that He paid the ultimate price for us; it is paid. It is paid in full. He atoned for sins. We cannot atone for our own sins because the price would be too great, God already came – for you and me – and paid the price of our sins. He redeemed us. Do you see how great a gift we have? Jesus Christ, God in man form, came and was mocked, flogged, whipped, beat, spit on, harassed, shoved, kicked, jeered at, crushed, speared, punctured, and lastly, was murdered in a most grueling death because HE LOVES US. The wrath of God has already been poured out on the shoulders of Jesus Christ, so we wouldn’t have to bear it.
“He has drained the last dark drops of the cup of God’s wrath; there’s nothing left but love for me.’ Because I am justified, I will never experientially know the wrath of a Holy God. Because of the cross, I now am slowly exploring the infinite reaches of His love. Throughout all eternity I will never find the limits of His love. There are none.” – Dr. Larry Crabb
We like to think we can conceptualize God’s love because we assume we know how God thinks, and many times we like to think we know because God made us and we read His Word - and that's got to be enough? Right? We also like to think since God made us, and we are made in His image, and if we are made in His image than He must be like us. We are not the standard my friends. God is the standard and we are to be like Him, and we fail at reflecting His character every day. It’s not God failing at being like us – His love is so much greater than how we love, just as His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We will never be able to out think God or out love God, it is impossible. God’s love will not always make sense to us, just as I’m sure it did not make sense to those watching Jesus give mercy to the adulterous woman. Let's see it unfold:
In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. – John 8:5-6, NIV
Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin." When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." ……You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one. – John 8:10-15, NIV
I have to confess, this is one of my all-time favorite stories of Jesus. It says so much about His character, and the character of our loving Father. Regardless of how much we have sinned and how messed up we are, God comes in and rescues us. God fights for us. HE is our knight in shining armor. He is our warrior on the battle field. He is our valiant leader. He is our great Redeemer. He takes something we might think is so ugly, used, messed up, jacked up, and horrible, and He turns it into something so incredibly beautiful. He redeems this woman, and He redeems us too - no matter what sin we have committed. He is our great Redeemer! ...and our Redeemer lives!
Let's us not forget, we have to want to be redeemed. God's love and grace is not a license to sin at wreckless abandon, we must not abuse His sweetly given grace and love. We are called to repent of our sins, and in our repentance, He grants us mercy - not judgment. We emerge forgiven, having been made new. God makes all things new and beautiful, if you let Him. He calls us to give Him EVERY area of our lives, for His glory. I do not want to hold on to any area of my life, industriously planning away for my own, when I can give it to God to plan for me. In His plan, He uses my mess-ups, my junk, what I think is ugly and shameful - He uses for His glory by turning it into something beautiful. Truly, only God can do this....He is so AMAZING! When God can do this with your sin, why would you not want to repent and let Him take all the darkness away? Trust Him, He can do it. Letting go of sin means stepping out of your comfort zone for God, but it is so incredibly, undeniably worth it! You can repent without fear of judgment if you love Him and acknowledge Jesus as your sweet Savior.
…because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment! – James 2:13, NIV
Right there, plain as day. Grace triumphs over judgment! God’s grace, what He did on the cross, covers our sin – no wrath for the believer, the price has been paid in FULL. Wow, the phrase “amazing love” doesn’t even do it justice. That is a love which not only knows no bounds, but has limits we cannot even fathom. Our finite human minds cannot even comprehend the amount of God’s love for us. No matter how much we try, I do not think we can fully know the depth of God’s love – it is just so big, so great, so beautiful. Don’t you want to follow a God who keeps no record of wrongs for those who love Him? Loving like God is something I undoubtedly fail at every single day. One exercise to try is this:
Think of it like a “test” of sorts. Since we know God is love (1 John 4), we can be fully confident knowing exhibits this as His character. This little “test” is one I learned from Dr. Ed Young, when he mentioned it during a sermon on love in Fall 2009. Give it a try! In the verse below, for each word that says “love” or “it” exchange it with your name. For example, “Sally is patient, Sally is kind” (and so forth…).
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NIV
How did you do? I know I have a lot to work on! Now exchange the word “love” or “it” with God, and you will see a glimpse of His character. Isn’t He just so good?!
Don’t be discouraged! We can work on this as a church, together, learning to love how He loves and give grace how He gives grace. We are without a doubt called to speak truth in love to each other, however, we need to remember Jesus was not a critic. Jesus was instructive, not destructive when He spoke the truth in love. He is our ultimate counselor, and those He was most angry with were the Pharisees – who thought they were doing everything right by simply abiding by the Law. Let’s focus on the Cross! We can learn how God loves and how God shows mercy by studying His word, which inherently helps us in studying His character. We can also know His character by our personal experiences with Him – which is what He deeply longs for most, to have our hearts.
Friends, I love our Lord so much. And I want to love like He does, and give grace like He does. Will you join me in wanting to be more like Him? Let’s give it our all, Jesus gave us His all. Let’s join in being more patient, more kind, releasing jealousy, releasing record of wrongs; let’s be more trustworthy and rejoice in the truth; let’s not boast, let’s not be proud, let’s not be rude or self-seeking; let’s not get easily angered; let’s always hope and always persevere. We can do this! We can love because He first loved us. We can’t have that kind of love on our own, we need our Heavenly Father to love like He does.
Love you friends, and praying for you! We are redeemed because He loves us more than we can imagine! He is our great Redeemer!
<><
K
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Back from Haiti
I’m back from Haiti. When I read that, I struggle to find words to describe everything I saw and experienced in Haiti. Then I question if there are even words to do so. Regardless, I’m going to give it a try.
I’ll start where I left off, as I apologize for not writing the last few nights – I was completely exhausted by the end of the day and needed some sleep. The second day we were there, a team of 10 of us from the US went to the grounds of where a new “tent city” is being built. However, this one, was being built for approximately 500-700 people. Our team built latrines and showers for these folks, as well as laid 100 feet of pipeline for their septic system. The tent city was one of many set up throughout Port-au-Prince, and the new home of thousands who have lost their homes in the devastating earthquake.
These people have been through a horrific nightmare, and the crumpled buildings along the streets are a daily reminder of that nightmare, not to mention the personal tragedies clinging to their lives. After building the tent city, our team took a drive through downtown Port-au-Prince to look around at the devastation. It was heartbreaking. I had heard a quote once, long ago, which said the erection of a building often signifies the dream of one person or many. Looking around Haiti, you see a just a glimpse of thousands of shattered dreams. No, actually, you are in a pit of shattered dreams. On our way driving out of Port-au-Prince, we drove along this port, and on the right hand side was a sea of slums. Now, I’ve been to some pretty poor places in my lifetime (Cambodia, Nepal, etc.), but these slums were by far the worst poverty I have ever seen in my life. “Homes” erected from literal cardboard or rusting sheet metal, as far as the eye could see. Human and animal feces on the ground everywhere, as well as loads of trash and rotting food. Wild pigs running around eating the trash and random compost on the ground. You could see their struggles plain as day. These slums had an unrelenting smell even if you drive by, this was worse than any image you have seen in Slumdog Millionaire. As I said, it was unreal, and it broke my heart for these poor people.
Furthermore, Haiti has only a 20% literacy rate. The earthquake did nothing to help the odds of these people get educated. 90% of schools in Haiti collapsed in the earthquake, and are not projected to be completely rebuilt for 1-3 years. So, many of the kids will not have schooling for 1-3 years, meaning Haiti is absolutely desperate for teachers or any who can bring education to these poor souls.
Many orphanages collapsed leaving thousands of orphans without a place to call home. Considering they’ve already battled the loss or abandonment of parents, they now face the strife of finding a home or somehow getting schooling. Schooling is seen as their way of bettering their situation, and actually making a future for themselves. For me, as I sit here and reflect on the easily hopeless situation of many of these people, orphans, and children, I think of these two verses:
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11, NIV
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. – Deuteronomy 31:8, NIV
God is alive in Haiti, and He is the King of these people. He has not left them, but He is with them in the midst of their tragedy; He is with them in the midst of their hopelessness; He is holding them when they cry; He is with them when they don’t know where they are going to live or how they are going to get through tomorrow; He is holding their hand as they walk down the dusty roads looking for a new place to live; He carrying them, every, single, step, of the way. We thankfully serve a God of compassion and love, who loves these people so very much, and He cries with them.
As I settle back in to comfortable, developed world life, I pray I do not become complacent. I pray I do not let Haiti become a mere trip I did once; I pray I do not let it all become a memory; I pray I do not forget the hearts of the orphans and the people of Haiti; I pray I do not forget their suffering; I pray I carry these images with me each day; I pray I remember the hugs of these sweet handicapped orphans every day – how in the midst of their tragedy, they are able to selflessly love ME. Think about that…..these children have nothing to offer but a smile and a hug. Despite all that they are going through, they do not wallow in their victimization, instead they reach out in love with a smile and a hug. These children teach us more than we can ever know or fathom, and I know that is God’s love at work in them.
As you read this, if you feel God is encouraging you to reach out to Haiti, do it. Give or go, or both. God’s word is clear about reaching out to those in need:
When Jesus heard this, he said to him, "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." – Luke 18:22, NIV
I pray we reach out to Haiti, and also not forget the last part – “Then come, follow me.” God is so good, and following Him provides a life which not only honors Him, but also makes us complete. Let us love Haiti, not just for ourselves and because it makes us feel good, but let us love Haiti for God. God uses us to love the least, the last, and the lost; God uses us to love the outcasts; God uses us to love Haiti and each other. Please join me in praying for Haiti. I pray blessings upon you, and thank you, love y’all!
<><
KB
I’ll start where I left off, as I apologize for not writing the last few nights – I was completely exhausted by the end of the day and needed some sleep. The second day we were there, a team of 10 of us from the US went to the grounds of where a new “tent city” is being built. However, this one, was being built for approximately 500-700 people. Our team built latrines and showers for these folks, as well as laid 100 feet of pipeline for their septic system. The tent city was one of many set up throughout Port-au-Prince, and the new home of thousands who have lost their homes in the devastating earthquake.
These people have been through a horrific nightmare, and the crumpled buildings along the streets are a daily reminder of that nightmare, not to mention the personal tragedies clinging to their lives. After building the tent city, our team took a drive through downtown Port-au-Prince to look around at the devastation. It was heartbreaking. I had heard a quote once, long ago, which said the erection of a building often signifies the dream of one person or many. Looking around Haiti, you see a just a glimpse of thousands of shattered dreams. No, actually, you are in a pit of shattered dreams. On our way driving out of Port-au-Prince, we drove along this port, and on the right hand side was a sea of slums. Now, I’ve been to some pretty poor places in my lifetime (Cambodia, Nepal, etc.), but these slums were by far the worst poverty I have ever seen in my life. “Homes” erected from literal cardboard or rusting sheet metal, as far as the eye could see. Human and animal feces on the ground everywhere, as well as loads of trash and rotting food. Wild pigs running around eating the trash and random compost on the ground. You could see their struggles plain as day. These slums had an unrelenting smell even if you drive by, this was worse than any image you have seen in Slumdog Millionaire. As I said, it was unreal, and it broke my heart for these poor people.
Furthermore, Haiti has only a 20% literacy rate. The earthquake did nothing to help the odds of these people get educated. 90% of schools in Haiti collapsed in the earthquake, and are not projected to be completely rebuilt for 1-3 years. So, many of the kids will not have schooling for 1-3 years, meaning Haiti is absolutely desperate for teachers or any who can bring education to these poor souls.
Many orphanages collapsed leaving thousands of orphans without a place to call home. Considering they’ve already battled the loss or abandonment of parents, they now face the strife of finding a home or somehow getting schooling. Schooling is seen as their way of bettering their situation, and actually making a future for themselves. For me, as I sit here and reflect on the easily hopeless situation of many of these people, orphans, and children, I think of these two verses:
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11, NIV
The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. – Deuteronomy 31:8, NIV
God is alive in Haiti, and He is the King of these people. He has not left them, but He is with them in the midst of their tragedy; He is with them in the midst of their hopelessness; He is holding them when they cry; He is with them when they don’t know where they are going to live or how they are going to get through tomorrow; He is holding their hand as they walk down the dusty roads looking for a new place to live; He carrying them, every, single, step, of the way. We thankfully serve a God of compassion and love, who loves these people so very much, and He cries with them.
As I settle back in to comfortable, developed world life, I pray I do not become complacent. I pray I do not let Haiti become a mere trip I did once; I pray I do not let it all become a memory; I pray I do not forget the hearts of the orphans and the people of Haiti; I pray I do not forget their suffering; I pray I carry these images with me each day; I pray I remember the hugs of these sweet handicapped orphans every day – how in the midst of their tragedy, they are able to selflessly love ME. Think about that…..these children have nothing to offer but a smile and a hug. Despite all that they are going through, they do not wallow in their victimization, instead they reach out in love with a smile and a hug. These children teach us more than we can ever know or fathom, and I know that is God’s love at work in them.
As you read this, if you feel God is encouraging you to reach out to Haiti, do it. Give or go, or both. God’s word is clear about reaching out to those in need:
When Jesus heard this, he said to him, "You still lack one thing. Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." – Luke 18:22, NIV
I pray we reach out to Haiti, and also not forget the last part – “Then come, follow me.” God is so good, and following Him provides a life which not only honors Him, but also makes us complete. Let us love Haiti, not just for ourselves and because it makes us feel good, but let us love Haiti for God. God uses us to love the least, the last, and the lost; God uses us to love the outcasts; God uses us to love Haiti and each other. Please join me in praying for Haiti. I pray blessings upon you, and thank you, love y’all!
<><
KB
In Haiti
Hey y'all!
So first, I'm writing this on an iPhone, so I apologize if it's a bit jostled. LoL. A huge thank you to at and t wireless for giving free service to all relief workers and customers in Haiti!! :-). Next, my gmail address book didn't download to my phone, so I typed what I had by memory, so if you could please forward this on to the usual folks (or anyone you'd think cares about what God is doing in Haiti, go for it!), I would so appreciate it!
So, this is a straight up warzone. No way around it. US military is here, and US customs isn't even up and running yet, so we literally got off the plane and walked in the country. There are tent cities everywhere, people don't even want to live in structured housing because of fear the roof would collapse over another earthquake. There are tons of thousands of homeless, thousands of orphans as a result of the quake, and too many to count amputees. We rode in a military vehicle around town delivering medical supplies to a tent hospital, and people often seize the vehicle begging for food, water, and money when we go down alley ways.
On another note, we are sleeping in tents. No showers. Yep, so I'm living off snacks (thank you Lance crackers) and we actually got one meal tonight, praise the Lord! There are 120 people on the team. We are set up on the lawn of a Christian children's orphanage and hospital, complete with security guards and high walls. It is steaming hot here, I'm even sunburned from riding around in the military truck half of the day.
I truly believe God is working in the reverse here, on many levels. Too many stories to type at the moment, but there have been numerous challenges for the team, and for myself, personally.
The woman who runs the orphanage here, Miriam, is truly amazing. She is very committed to Christ and letting God's love move mountains. She has held dying orphans, she has given shelter to the rejected, the down trodden, and the out casted. She truly loves the least, the last, and the lost. Her assistant Chris, a Christian woman from Washington state, is just as full of the Holy Spirit. True blessings to His Kingdom, and they need help more than ever. They need doctors, they need teachers, they need counselors and they need Pastors. Desperately. All the schools have collapsed, so the children need education. The government has said it would be 1-3 years before schools would be rebuilt.
Another story that really impacted me today, we decide to walk outside the compound for a bit. We stumbled upon a seminary, or what used to be a seminary. The whole seminary collapsed to the ground, and we were able to walk amongst the ruble. Among the ruble, I found some one's bible note cards, a hymnal book, what seemed to be a bible, study notes, pillows, underwear, and clothes. It was devastating. To think, our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, had once sat there, just a mere month ago to study Gods word, aspiring to be leaders for our church. I met the head pastor, David, a warm man who you can tell is full of Gods love. I was told that there may even be bodies still under the ruble at the seminary, as there are thousands still unaccounted for in Haiti. However, the amazing thing is that the church on the campus, the physical building and cross, were still standing unharmed. Do you see how amazing that is?! The church was still standing, the cross was still raised. That resonated with me, and I know God has so much more to do here through the church. Our church, we are all in the same church, regardless of physical address.
Anyhow, I better get to bed, it's late, and it's finally cooled off here. Good night, and I deeply ask you to not forget Haiti. Please pray for Haiti. Let the Holy Spirit guide you in your prayers, and please please pray for Haiti.
Y'all are awesome and miss you much!
In His Steps,
KB
Sent from my iPhone
So first, I'm writing this on an iPhone, so I apologize if it's a bit jostled. LoL. A huge thank you to at and t wireless for giving free service to all relief workers and customers in Haiti!! :-). Next, my gmail address book didn't download to my phone, so I typed what I had by memory, so if you could please forward this on to the usual folks (or anyone you'd think cares about what God is doing in Haiti, go for it!), I would so appreciate it!
So, this is a straight up warzone. No way around it. US military is here, and US customs isn't even up and running yet, so we literally got off the plane and walked in the country. There are tent cities everywhere, people don't even want to live in structured housing because of fear the roof would collapse over another earthquake. There are tons of thousands of homeless, thousands of orphans as a result of the quake, and too many to count amputees. We rode in a military vehicle around town delivering medical supplies to a tent hospital, and people often seize the vehicle begging for food, water, and money when we go down alley ways.
On another note, we are sleeping in tents. No showers. Yep, so I'm living off snacks (thank you Lance crackers) and we actually got one meal tonight, praise the Lord! There are 120 people on the team. We are set up on the lawn of a Christian children's orphanage and hospital, complete with security guards and high walls. It is steaming hot here, I'm even sunburned from riding around in the military truck half of the day.
I truly believe God is working in the reverse here, on many levels. Too many stories to type at the moment, but there have been numerous challenges for the team, and for myself, personally.
The woman who runs the orphanage here, Miriam, is truly amazing. She is very committed to Christ and letting God's love move mountains. She has held dying orphans, she has given shelter to the rejected, the down trodden, and the out casted. She truly loves the least, the last, and the lost. Her assistant Chris, a Christian woman from Washington state, is just as full of the Holy Spirit. True blessings to His Kingdom, and they need help more than ever. They need doctors, they need teachers, they need counselors and they need Pastors. Desperately. All the schools have collapsed, so the children need education. The government has said it would be 1-3 years before schools would be rebuilt.
Another story that really impacted me today, we decide to walk outside the compound for a bit. We stumbled upon a seminary, or what used to be a seminary. The whole seminary collapsed to the ground, and we were able to walk amongst the ruble. Among the ruble, I found some one's bible note cards, a hymnal book, what seemed to be a bible, study notes, pillows, underwear, and clothes. It was devastating. To think, our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, had once sat there, just a mere month ago to study Gods word, aspiring to be leaders for our church. I met the head pastor, David, a warm man who you can tell is full of Gods love. I was told that there may even be bodies still under the ruble at the seminary, as there are thousands still unaccounted for in Haiti. However, the amazing thing is that the church on the campus, the physical building and cross, were still standing unharmed. Do you see how amazing that is?! The church was still standing, the cross was still raised. That resonated with me, and I know God has so much more to do here through the church. Our church, we are all in the same church, regardless of physical address.
Anyhow, I better get to bed, it's late, and it's finally cooled off here. Good night, and I deeply ask you to not forget Haiti. Please pray for Haiti. Let the Holy Spirit guide you in your prayers, and please please pray for Haiti.
Y'all are awesome and miss you much!
In His Steps,
KB
Sent from my iPhone
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