Perfection.

"Perfection."

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear that word? Is it flawlessness? Something or someone without fault or blemish? Or perhaps it is a feeling, maybe one of accomplishment? Or you are feeling exhausted just be reading that word?

When we look at the definition of the word "perfect" at http://www.dictionary.com/, we find this:

per·fect [adj., n. pur-fikt; v. per-fekt]
- excellent or complete beyond practical or theoretical improvement:
- entirely without any flaws, defects, or shortcomings:
- accurate, exact, or correct in every detail:
- pure or unmixed:
- expert; accomplished; proficient.

I don't know about you, but just reading that makes me feel exhausted. Why? Well, that's quite simple actually. You see, I am a recovering perfectionist. There I said it, my secret is out, I am not perfect. That's right. Sound the alarms, alert the media, buy a newspaper tomorrow, exhale - I fall miserably short of being perfect.

This realization, of not being perfect, is one I have known throughout my whole life, but my fear throughout my whole life was that other people would find out that I am not perfect. Have you ever felt that way? If you aren't sure, I can break down what that thinking looks like, you might think this:

"Wow, I've got a lot of baggage, but as long as I go above and beyond in everything else, everyone else will think I've got it all together."

"I've made some serious mistakes, but if I just act like everything is great and only talk about my accomplishments, everyone will think I'm absolutely perfect."

"Hey, I check off all the major boxes of someone who society thinks is perfect, and I've had to work hard at it. So everyone will think I'm perfect as long as I have the right job, date the right person, drive the right car, live in the right area, etc."

"It doesn't matter what is going on in my life, I've got it all together and everyone will realize that as long as I don't share the bad stuff."

"If I'm not perfect, no one will accept me or love me."

"I have to be perfect in order to be successful in every area of my life." (which goes into vicious cycle of, "I have to be successful in every area of my life in order to be perfect.....")

"No one can know that anything bothers me, I will wear a mask so everyone thinks my life is perfect."

Of course, the list goes on, but these are just a few statements of incredibly unhealthy thinking. My friends, we are incapable of being perfect. Why? Because only Jesus, the living Son of God, can be perfect - and we cannot take His place. If we could take His place, we wouldn't need a Savior, and the truth is we radically need a Savior. Do you have any idea how deep and wide that kind of love is for us? While we are sinners, such imperfect, sin-stained beings, He came for us.....HE CAME FOR US!

Now, this does not exclude what we are called to do as followers of Christ. As followers of Christ, we are called "to be" perfect. Be careful, there is a distinct difference in language there. The call to be perfect, and the actuality of being perfect are different. Here's a verse:

Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect. - Matthew 5:48, NASB

In other words, we are to be like our heavenly Father. We are to be Christ-like. Christ was perfect, faultless, sinless, flawless, pure - and we are to strive to be like Him. Now, it is easy to get caught in the thinking that if we remotely fail at that, we are immediately disqualified for some kind of cosmic prize somewhere in the universe of life. The truth we must hold fast to is this, we are going to fail at being perfect. Yep, there you go, take your breath of relief. But this should not discourage us from striving to live Christ-like lives.

You see, the main drive in wanting to be perfect, wanting to be Christ-like, isn't so everyone else can think we have it together or give us their approval, or acceptance......no, our main drive in wanting to be perfect, in wanting to be Christ-like should be our deep, unabashed, tireless LOVE for Jesus Christ. Point blank. The love we receive from our Savior, and the love we have in return, is the kind of love that moves mountains. It is the kind of love that can radically change lives, bring hope to the hopeless, find the lost. That kind of love changes circumstances, opens doors and closes doors that need to be closed. So our intent on being Christ-like will be fulfilling if it is for Him, however, if our intent on being Christ-like is for others approval, we will almost always end up on the hamster wheel of "not being enough" type of thinking. That sort of treadmill of "no matter what I do, its never enough and I can never be perfect" type, and the reality is that we are not to strive for human approval - you will exhaust yourself. When we strive for Christ's approval in being like Him, He will love us even if we fail miserably. Wow, what kind of incredible grace is that?!

We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are. - Acts 15:11, NIV (italics added)

How about that! "Just as they are" - we are saved. You don't have to work for it, you don't have to exhaust yourself, you don't have to be on the hamster wheel of trying to achieve perfection. Jesus Christ is there to accept you, save you through His incredible grace, JUST AS YOU ARE.

We want to be perfect, we want to be Christ-like because we love Him, and not because we want others to think more highly of us, or to think we have it all together.

In my own personal life, I have spent the majority of my life believing the lie that I had to be perfect, even though I without a doubt - knew that I was anything but perfect. I believed that if I was not perfect, than I would be disqualified of having love, acceptance, and approval from anyone. So I became a slave to earning everyone's approval. I wanted to be the best that anyone had ever seen, at everything, because if I wasn't, people would find out the truth about me not being perfect. And if I wasn't perfect, they'd focus on my flaws and then I wouldn't be loved or accepted. Being the best at everything sounded like a fool-proof way to guarantee that I would always be desired, accepted, loved, and always have approval from others. Sounds kind of miserable, huh? I can tell you that it was only miserable when you weren't winning or achieving. My worth became based on what everyone else thought of me and how well I performed at everything from sports to career and from relationships to academics. Yet, I professed to be a follower of Jesus Christ! When I failed to be perfect at anything or failed to have someone's approval, I would carry around such tremendous shame. How incredibly prideful is that?! Not only thinking that I can control what others think of me, but also extreme fear that anyone would find out that my life is less than perfect.

After a while, God brought my life crashing down around me in a variety of ways (way too many to list). Though it was the most humbling moment of my life and utter brokenness, God showed me that I needed Him to tell me who I was and how much I'm worth, instead of anything and everyone else. Striving to be like Christ and failing at that, while knowing He loves me anyway, offers absolutely True freedom. Furthermore, we are to mirror that love and extend the same grace we receive to others. Our family members and friends are not Jesus, so practicing forgivenness and grace is necessary for us to receive it. And for those of us who are single, we cannot marry Jesus, so grace is also required in the dating process. Any human being will always let us down at some point, but Christ will not - He is our rock. Striving to be like Him and practicing forgivenness and grace in His love helps to refine us in becoming more Holy.

My friends, today I want you to realize that you have true freedom in Christ. While we will fail to be perfect, He still loves us with so much love that is incomprehensible. You do not have to earn God's love, He offers it freely to you - JUST AS YOU ARE. I pray that you will realize you do not have to be perfect by the world's standards to be loved and accepted. God made us, so let Him tell you how worth it you are. C.S. Lewis once said,

"Christ died for men precisely because men are not worth dying for; to make them worth it." - C.S. Lewis, The World's Last Night

....you are worth it. He died for you. Believe that you are lovable just as you are, take a deep breath and rest in that. I am praying that you feel His love all around you. Don't let another minute go by where you feel you have to work for someone's approval to determine your worth. Don't let another minute go by hanging on achievement or accomplishment to reassure yourself that you are worth it, you are worth the love of our Savior without ever having achieved any medal, trophy, job, award, scholarship, prize, money, anything. Let God's love affirm that you are worth it. Let Him, the one who made us, tell you who you are, and no one else.

I am praying for you my dear friends, and I pray that you throw off the chains of perfectionism. It's not easy, it is not ever easy, but it is so worth it. I wish I could say I have never dealt with insecurities of perfectionism again in my life, but that would not be true. However, I do know how to overcome and step off that old hamster wheel of perfectionism now, and that is through Christ's love. You can do this. Step out, take off the mask, and let Him mold you into being more like Him. You won't regret it, you'll only regret not striving to be like Him. He loves you so much!

Your sister in Christ,
Kay