When I first became a Christian, I would hear people say, "God is good!" and the responding person would say, "All the time!" I intellectually knew what they meant, and I intellectually agreed wholeheartedly with this exchange. However, while I knew it was true, I'm not sure I had ever really been put in a situation where I was required to believe it was true. Sure, I knew the corresponding verses, could flip to them quickly and even shared them with people who were struggling to understand how God can be good. But was I really believing what I was preaching? I knew the bible is an absolute truth, and I knew everyone else - including reliable pastors - believed God was good, so I knew God was good - but why?
Well, these last few weeks I've found myself really reflecting on God's goodness. After a series of tumultuous events in my life about 6-7 months ago, I found myself in the midst of my own "suffering." My conversations with God after about the 3rd or 4th tough event in my life swirled around like this, "God I know that you are good, but I'm just not sure you are good to me." And sure, I'd stood in the face of orphans and persecuted Christians who have nothing, living on their faith alone for God to provide their every need and they call it enough. I've seen this type of belief in God's goodness in action, intense Satan-defeating type action. It's impacted my life forever, and I couldn't shake the lessons God had taught me from people who had so little, but yet spiritually SO much. Then I would reduce it to this type of thinking, "Ok, sure, God is good to the orphan, the persecuted, the widow, or maybe just those He hand picks, but all of this is evidence that God is not good to me, but He is so good to everyone else."
The harmful, and completely unbiblical thinking of which I had made serious errors in what I believed about God (don't be confused, I knew God's character intellectually, but failed to believe it) continued into a major season of repentance. I began to ask God to show me reasons for all the strife, suffering, and challenge in my life; I asked Him to show me "any offensive way in me"; I asked God to show me sin in my life that hadn't been sanctified out of me yet; I asked God to show me sins I didn't know I might be committing, and the list goes on. You see, I thought it was out of my own performance that God was bringing about all of this loss, grief, challenge, heartbreak, and strife. I thought certainly I had done something, or I'm not doing something, for God to hand me such a season of suffering.
Truth is, I am blessed. Blessed beyond measure. In this season, I had two friends emerge in my life who God used to show me two incredibly valuable lessons. I learned that God is good, even when we don't get our way - His purpose is greater, and trusting Him (while challenging, because we get to be really good at thinking we have God figured out and we think we know why He does or doesn't do what we want) is so worth it. In fact, this dear girlfriend in my life had no idea she was part of such a lesson. I was describing in an honest way my doubts and my desires for God to "just give me a break" by giving me this or that. And she snapped back, "Wait! Are you saying you only believe God is good if you get what you want?!" While slightly abrupt, she was right, and so glad she spoke up.
Another friend called me on the carpet when she realized how I had been relying on my own performance to figure out if God was good to me or not. Wow, how arrogant is that for me to think! God cannot be manipulated. I can feed 167 million orphans, or just one, and He will still be as good to me either way. God is good to me even when I think I'm not good. His character is constant, my performance is not. I have to believe God is good to me no matter what I say or do, He still chooses to love me. It cannot be earned, not even a little bit. I began to lean on this scripture more and more everyday:
The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all he has made. - Psalm 145:9, NIV
The Greek word for compassion means "to suffer with" and God was still with me being compassionate - I just needed to stop focusing on myself long enough to see Him loving me. I'm included in the "all" of that psalm, and so are you who reads this. God is good to YOU whether you believe it or not, but it serves you better to believe God is good as it brings you closer to Him and equips you with a better knowledge of who He is - so you can believe it!
I had to understand as I look back, there has been an incredible amount of goodness that has come from every ounce of suffering I had in the last 6-7 months. In short and only scratching the surface, I've got an amazing new job, I'm now part of a wonderful new church, I've grown closer with family members and friends by letting them care for me, I've grown so much closer with Jesus, and I've started riding horses again which is a sport I love and God has blessed me to honor Him with it. (If you want to know the deeper ways God has worked, just ask!) I had to learn by experience (and so thankful it was by experience, because it makes it more believable for me) that God redeems every tear, every ounce and every minute of our brokenness. He turns mourning into dancing, ashes to beauty, and darkness to light. He prunes so a branch will bear more fruit, making it more beautiful:
I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. - John 15:1-2, NIV
I pray this season is one where I can bear more fruit for His glory alone. I'm so thankful for God's sovereignty and His vast, undeniable goodness. He is so good, all the time! God is faithful and trustworthy. Believe that while you may not get your way, God is still good and there is a greater reason for His glory. While we think we know what we want, God is better at knowing what is for our good. He alone is good! And His goodness does not rest on what you do or what you don't do, you can't earn God's goodness. God's goodness to YOU doesn't even rest on whether you believe He is good. He is really good, ALL the time. Believe it. Simple.
Well, these last few weeks I've found myself really reflecting on God's goodness. After a series of tumultuous events in my life about 6-7 months ago, I found myself in the midst of my own "suffering." My conversations with God after about the 3rd or 4th tough event in my life swirled around like this, "God I know that you are good, but I'm just not sure you are good to me." And sure, I'd stood in the face of orphans and persecuted Christians who have nothing, living on their faith alone for God to provide their every need and they call it enough. I've seen this type of belief in God's goodness in action, intense Satan-defeating type action. It's impacted my life forever, and I couldn't shake the lessons God had taught me from people who had so little, but yet spiritually SO much. Then I would reduce it to this type of thinking, "Ok, sure, God is good to the orphan, the persecuted, the widow, or maybe just those He hand picks, but all of this is evidence that God is not good to me, but He is so good to everyone else."
The harmful, and completely unbiblical thinking of which I had made serious errors in what I believed about God (don't be confused, I knew God's character intellectually, but failed to believe it) continued into a major season of repentance. I began to ask God to show me reasons for all the strife, suffering, and challenge in my life; I asked Him to show me "any offensive way in me"; I asked God to show me sin in my life that hadn't been sanctified out of me yet; I asked God to show me sins I didn't know I might be committing, and the list goes on. You see, I thought it was out of my own performance that God was bringing about all of this loss, grief, challenge, heartbreak, and strife. I thought certainly I had done something, or I'm not doing something, for God to hand me such a season of suffering.
Truth is, I am blessed. Blessed beyond measure. In this season, I had two friends emerge in my life who God used to show me two incredibly valuable lessons. I learned that God is good, even when we don't get our way - His purpose is greater, and trusting Him (while challenging, because we get to be really good at thinking we have God figured out and we think we know why He does or doesn't do what we want) is so worth it. In fact, this dear girlfriend in my life had no idea she was part of such a lesson. I was describing in an honest way my doubts and my desires for God to "just give me a break" by giving me this or that. And she snapped back, "Wait! Are you saying you only believe God is good if you get what you want?!" While slightly abrupt, she was right, and so glad she spoke up.
Another friend called me on the carpet when she realized how I had been relying on my own performance to figure out if God was good to me or not. Wow, how arrogant is that for me to think! God cannot be manipulated. I can feed 167 million orphans, or just one, and He will still be as good to me either way. God is good to me even when I think I'm not good. His character is constant, my performance is not. I have to believe God is good to me no matter what I say or do, He still chooses to love me. It cannot be earned, not even a little bit. I began to lean on this scripture more and more everyday:
The Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all he has made. - Psalm 145:9, NIV
The Greek word for compassion means "to suffer with" and God was still with me being compassionate - I just needed to stop focusing on myself long enough to see Him loving me. I'm included in the "all" of that psalm, and so are you who reads this. God is good to YOU whether you believe it or not, but it serves you better to believe God is good as it brings you closer to Him and equips you with a better knowledge of who He is - so you can believe it!
I had to understand as I look back, there has been an incredible amount of goodness that has come from every ounce of suffering I had in the last 6-7 months. In short and only scratching the surface, I've got an amazing new job, I'm now part of a wonderful new church, I've grown closer with family members and friends by letting them care for me, I've grown so much closer with Jesus, and I've started riding horses again which is a sport I love and God has blessed me to honor Him with it. (If you want to know the deeper ways God has worked, just ask!) I had to learn by experience (and so thankful it was by experience, because it makes it more believable for me) that God redeems every tear, every ounce and every minute of our brokenness. He turns mourning into dancing, ashes to beauty, and darkness to light. He prunes so a branch will bear more fruit, making it more beautiful:
I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. - John 15:1-2, NIV
I pray this season is one where I can bear more fruit for His glory alone. I'm so thankful for God's sovereignty and His vast, undeniable goodness. He is so good, all the time! God is faithful and trustworthy. Believe that while you may not get your way, God is still good and there is a greater reason for His glory. While we think we know what we want, God is better at knowing what is for our good. He alone is good! And His goodness does not rest on what you do or what you don't do, you can't earn God's goodness. God's goodness to YOU doesn't even rest on whether you believe He is good. He is really good, ALL the time. Believe it. Simple.
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