It's Been One Year!

Where on earth do I begin?!  Well, this Tuesday it will be one year since I was diagnosed.  The time has flown by, though I have to admit - when I was on treatment, time seemed to take forever.  Who knew that one phone call on an idle Tuesday afternoon at work could be so life changing?  Well, I know Who knew.  In short, I was diagnosed on September 25, 2012.  The journey over the last year has been a tumultuous one full of ups and downs, laughter, joy, heartache, tears, and just about everything in between.

Words cannot even begin to express my thankfulness to the people who have weathered this journey with me, who have stuck by me in the worst of times and the best.  My thankfulness runs deep for those who have been a shoulder to cry on, and for those who have decided to step-in and hit cancer head on with me shoulder-to-shoulder.  For every visitor, I thank you.  For every card, email, Facebook message, text, I thank you.  For every ounce of grace that has been extended my way, I'm eternally indebted to you.  For those who have made the conscious decision to suffer through this with me even when it wasn't convenient for you, please know that I pray for you - and the Lord truly sees your heart in serving Him in such a way that not only brings Him glory, but goes to meet the deepest need of one of His sheep in such a "needy" time. Being "needy" is not fun, and it is not in my character, so you can only imagine how humbling and sanctifying it can be.  All that to say, there isn't a block party big enough for me to throw to show my gratitude.  Weathering this storm so far from family has been a huge challenge, and I've only had to depend on the kindness of those around me for help.

The DC Cancer Consortium has asked me to share my story with them, and we are in the planning and editing stages of putting together a blog post with perhaps a video and maybe more.  I pray God uses this opportunity to bring glory to Himself and impact others for His kingdom.  I prepared a video to share my story of the last year, which if you like, you can view here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Jy93AKMlyw

So where am I at with everything today?   Well, I'm healing.  Cancer wasn't just physically exhausting, but spiritually and emotionally as well.  Although, reflecting back on this entire thing, I have to confess that I ended up being much stronger spiritually than I originally thought possible.  It's funny how God can show us that about ourselves, huh?  I was very surprised that I didn't catapult myself into a pit of despair, but instead genuinely sought to praise Him and bring Him glory in the midst of turmoil.  Which is all the more reason I know it was truly God at work in my heart and in my life, only He can use me in such a way that surprises even me.  I'm back at work, and am blessed to work for such an excellent company with such a supportive team.  I'm readjusting to all the changes, as when you are sick - life keeps going for everyone else, but it doesn't seem to keep going for you.  So, its a bit of playing "catch up" for lack of a better explanation.

I ran my first 5k since having cancer this past weekend!  It was great that some friends and so many co-workers came out to raise support for the Washington Cancer Institute, which is where I originally had surgeries and treatment.

It was a great feeling to cross the finish line, especially in the company of a sweet friend of mine who had also fought breast cancer this past year.  We crossed the line as survivors...survivors of more than just a race and a battle with cancer, but of the deadly bullet from cancer that rips through every area of your life leaving a wake of destruction.  We pick up the pieces, God shows us how to glue them back together, and we are left with a beautiful mosaic.  It's only beauty that God can orchestrate, He is so sovereign over every detail.

Sure, there has been a lot of pain and anguish, but I truly believe if that is all we focus on in our trials and suffering than we miss seeing God's blessings and traces of grace and mercy in the process.  We become tempted to focus on ourselves and our pain, and we miss honoring God in trial.  Easier said than done, believe me.  But I'm constantly learning that there is joy in suffering because the joy in suffering brings God glory - which in turn brings us joy to glorify Him.  It's not easy somedays, and somedays we just want to hear someone say, "wow, your situation is just really terrible!" because it validates us and let's us know we're not crazy, we're not out in left field for feeling the way we do.  But my point is, there is hope.  A hope greater than ourselves and certainly greater than any circumstance.  The hope in Jesus Christ carries us out of focusing on ourselves and lifts our eyes to an all Mighty Creator and King.  I pray that encourages you as it has me.

On September 30th, I have another surgery to determine if my cancer has recurred.  No idea what the future holds, but I know Who holds it.

For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. - Psalm 61:3-4, NIV