As an avid water sports girl and surfer, I've had the blessing of going to a beautiful place known as Hawaii a handful of times - including this past week. The last time I was there, however, I had just finished a string of surgeries following a cancer diagnosis and was a month away from starting a grueling regimen of chemotherapy. I remember sitting on the veranda of a hotel on Waikiki Beach staring out at the waves thinking, "What would my life be like in one year? Would I still be alive two years from now? Would I lose all my hair? What would chemo do to me? What will change? I know my faith will be tested, but will I persevere? Will people who do not walk with Jesus in my life come to love Him?" My mind was full of questions, but I still had a resolve in trusting God for what was to come.
After the first day of the trip, my former boss and dear friend - Julie Stoll, texted me a verse that I will never forget. She said she was reading Psalm 18:19 that morning and thought of me, which reads:
He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me. - Psalm 18:19, NIV
I read that Psalm over and over, and continued reading right through many of the Psalms as each verse leapt of the page and into my heart. God is so utterly personal with us, it amazes me what He continuously wants to do with our lives despite our own sinfulness. He is always rescuing us from ourselves, from our sin, and in the ultimate act of love He rescued us from a life apart from Him. The closer I grow towards God, the more aware I become of my own sinfulness - and in turn, the more deeply thankful I become of His desire to rescue me, to give me far more unmerited grace than I could ever fathom.
This last week, I went down to the beach on a little grassy spot near the water to watch the last batch of diehard surfers catch their last few waves before dark and to have some quiet time with God. I remembered Psalm 18:19 and couldn't help but reflect on where God had brought me from the last time I was in that same spot. Candidly, I was overwhelmed with thankfulness. Sheer and total thankfulness. For everything, and for everything around me. Every little thing had a sweet significance. The thought of making any kind of complaint seemed entirely foreign and impossible (Philippians 2:14, NIV) in that very moment. I mean, God's beauty and provision was all around, how could anyone complain?!
Every little thing in my life from the love I have from God, my sweet friends, my health, my job, my food, clean water, a place to sleep, a great place to live, my dear church, the ability to sit on that beach that night, and everything in between - it is all by God's grace from Himself. Let me be clear, I am so undeserving of any of it, completely and totally unworthy. I'm a sinner, I deserve the wrath of God. BUT.....the Good News is, because God loved me and willingly gave His only Son by His grace, I'm able to live a life in relationship with the Creator of the universe. Jesus Christ Himself conquered death. I mean, wow. Just wow. The God who created the very beach that was in front of me, had the deepest love that could ever be recorded in history - for me, for you too.
I reflected back on so much of the bad days and good days over the last two years, and each day was an evidence of His grace. There were certainly hard and difficult days, and I had become weaker, but by His grace, I'm here today in love with God more than ever. I'm just so thankful, incredibly thankful.
Every little thing - the salt, the sand, the crystal blue water, the food, the people I'd meet, the crashing of the waves, the laughing, the sun, the rest, the gorgeous mountains around, the very bible I was holding, my family, it is all an overwhelming evidence of God's grace. I never want to miss a minute of simply thanking Him for loving me so much, for molding my heart into one of thankfulness before Him. Complete contentment in seeing God's heart for me through His very word as the truth jumped off the pages. He is such a good, gracious, and kindhearted God in every way. Every trial we have, He truly uses for our good - to mold the human condition of our hearts. For that, I'm immensely thankful.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. - James 1:17, NIV
I never want to waste a minute staring at my circumstances in a posture of complaining, if we do, we miss seeing His sweet grace in all the details around us. We have so much to be thankful for, it is all by His grace. Mind blown. A dear friend of mine used to say that bitterness comes from unmet desires. If we desire what God has placed before us, what He has given us - if we find our joy in Him, and not our circumstances, we can't help but be thankful. As long as there is breath in our body there is hope. Our hope in an unfailing God drives me to my knees in a heart of gratitude and worship, thank you God for having mercy and grace upon grace upon grace for me.
Thank you, Lord, for bring me into a spacious place - even when you didn't have to. Thank you, Lord, for delighting in me and rescuing me. Thank you, Lord, for your grace and patience on me even though I do not deserve it from a perfect and holy God as You. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to see your hand in even uncertain times and for giving me breath to live another day for your glory alone. Thank you, Lord, for being so trustworthy and for providing above and beyond what I need.
After the first day of the trip, my former boss and dear friend - Julie Stoll, texted me a verse that I will never forget. She said she was reading Psalm 18:19 that morning and thought of me, which reads:
He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me. - Psalm 18:19, NIV
I read that Psalm over and over, and continued reading right through many of the Psalms as each verse leapt of the page and into my heart. God is so utterly personal with us, it amazes me what He continuously wants to do with our lives despite our own sinfulness. He is always rescuing us from ourselves, from our sin, and in the ultimate act of love He rescued us from a life apart from Him. The closer I grow towards God, the more aware I become of my own sinfulness - and in turn, the more deeply thankful I become of His desire to rescue me, to give me far more unmerited grace than I could ever fathom.
This last week, I went down to the beach on a little grassy spot near the water to watch the last batch of diehard surfers catch their last few waves before dark and to have some quiet time with God. I remembered Psalm 18:19 and couldn't help but reflect on where God had brought me from the last time I was in that same spot. Candidly, I was overwhelmed with thankfulness. Sheer and total thankfulness. For everything, and for everything around me. Every little thing had a sweet significance. The thought of making any kind of complaint seemed entirely foreign and impossible (Philippians 2:14, NIV) in that very moment. I mean, God's beauty and provision was all around, how could anyone complain?!
Every little thing in my life from the love I have from God, my sweet friends, my health, my job, my food, clean water, a place to sleep, a great place to live, my dear church, the ability to sit on that beach that night, and everything in between - it is all by God's grace from Himself. Let me be clear, I am so undeserving of any of it, completely and totally unworthy. I'm a sinner, I deserve the wrath of God. BUT.....the Good News is, because God loved me and willingly gave His only Son by His grace, I'm able to live a life in relationship with the Creator of the universe. Jesus Christ Himself conquered death. I mean, wow. Just wow. The God who created the very beach that was in front of me, had the deepest love that could ever be recorded in history - for me, for you too.
I reflected back on so much of the bad days and good days over the last two years, and each day was an evidence of His grace. There were certainly hard and difficult days, and I had become weaker, but by His grace, I'm here today in love with God more than ever. I'm just so thankful, incredibly thankful.
Every little thing - the salt, the sand, the crystal blue water, the food, the people I'd meet, the crashing of the waves, the laughing, the sun, the rest, the gorgeous mountains around, the very bible I was holding, my family, it is all an overwhelming evidence of God's grace. I never want to miss a minute of simply thanking Him for loving me so much, for molding my heart into one of thankfulness before Him. Complete contentment in seeing God's heart for me through His very word as the truth jumped off the pages. He is such a good, gracious, and kindhearted God in every way. Every trial we have, He truly uses for our good - to mold the human condition of our hearts. For that, I'm immensely thankful.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. - James 1:17, NIV
I never want to waste a minute staring at my circumstances in a posture of complaining, if we do, we miss seeing His sweet grace in all the details around us. We have so much to be thankful for, it is all by His grace. Mind blown. A dear friend of mine used to say that bitterness comes from unmet desires. If we desire what God has placed before us, what He has given us - if we find our joy in Him, and not our circumstances, we can't help but be thankful. As long as there is breath in our body there is hope. Our hope in an unfailing God drives me to my knees in a heart of gratitude and worship, thank you God for having mercy and grace upon grace upon grace for me.
Thank you, Lord, for bring me into a spacious place - even when you didn't have to. Thank you, Lord, for delighting in me and rescuing me. Thank you, Lord, for your grace and patience on me even though I do not deserve it from a perfect and holy God as You. Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to see your hand in even uncertain times and for giving me breath to live another day for your glory alone. Thank you, Lord, for being so trustworthy and for providing above and beyond what I need.
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