I've become convinced that another necessary item for anyone going through cancer is humor. Plain and simple. At the risk of sounding not hyper spiritual, I believe God has gifted us with joy in the form of humor as evidence of His kindness. Laughing just helps. Having friends to laugh with is even better. Having friends to make you laugh probably just makes Satan really mad. I've heard the old cliche that "laughter is the best medicine" and I don't know how true it is, but laughing is just fun and doesn't cost any money (most of the time).
God trusts us all with different things, different spiritual gifts that He gives us to glorify Him. God has allowed for me to have cancer, and I pray that I'm glorifying Him as I weather this storm. God allows everything for our good (Romans 8:28) ultimately, and I believe God gives us the gift of humor as being no different. It may all sound like one big Hallmark card, but I believe there is a joy, a gift - if you will, that occurs when the Christ in me recognizes the Christ in you. And in this exchange, we can sense an ever present help in trouble as Christ promises us (Psalm 46:1). It's as if God reaches His hand down, gives you a breath of hope in the form of a smile and pulls you out of the pit Himself. Finding this joy, this hope, in the midst of suffering is a blessing and is an evidence of trusting God Himself. Easy? No. But God loves you more than life itself, and loves you enough to give you the gift of Himself. I see gifts from Him in so many ways, and have lately seen it in the form of friends and just laughing.
Tomorrow I head back to the hospital for a full day. I start physical therapy at 8am, then I have an oncology appointment at 11am, then blood tests again, and then depending on the results of the test I may have treatment tomorrow afternoon. I haven't had any cancer fighting drugs since Friday January 11th, my liver has not been able to handle it. The oncologist took me off of the drugs to let my liver enzymes decline back to normal levels, and he expects by tomorrow that I should be able to endure the treatment regimen again. It's been kind of nice to have my appetite restored, to get out of the house, and to just get outside and enjoy the day. But starting the drugs over again will mean the return of harsh fevers, aches/pains, nausea, and the potential of liver problems again. The nights are usually worse than the days, so I will need to brace myself for some long nights. My sorority little sister, Courtney, has come to stay with me this week to take care of me. In college, you certainly never expect for your sorority sisters to ever have to come take care of you while you have cancer.....at age 30. However, I'm truly blessed.
I certainly am not perfect at weathering this all the time, I'm not sure any of us know anyone that is. There are some days when being strong is just hard, and I realize I'm doing it more in my strength than His - which is why it gets hard. There are days when I just need someone else to come alongside of me to be stronger because I feel so weak spiritually and emotionally. Being physically weak is not as tough, often when I'm most physically weak I find myself most dependent on Christ. I suppose that's how it is supposed to be though! There are days when I wish I could just go for a run, go skiing, go horseback riding, go surfing, or do something outdoors probably because I spend so much time within the walls of a hospital and/or my own room. However, I pray that the time I have been given to just rest in Him is not wasted. I pray I'm using it for His glory, even if it is resting and/or seeking Him in the privacy of my own room.
I'm often amazed at the examples of God's kindness in the bible, and He continues to be the same God of kindness today.
He gives his king great victories; he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed, to David and his descendants forever. - 2 Samuel 22:51, IV
....God's kindness leads you toward repentance. - Romans 2:4, NIVb
Jesus is my magnificent obsession, and is my everything. I am so thankful for His kindness evidenced through friends, and through the joy and humor they bring to my life. God's grace has been overflowing from my cup. Tomorrow will bring more needles, and undoubtedly my prognosis has declined due to not being able to complete the full course of treatment, I ultimately can have faith that my God is so much bigger than any statistics or prognosis we (as finite human beings) can think up. He decides how many days we get, and how many breaths we take. For that, I am thankful, and so blessed by His kindness.
God trusts us all with different things, different spiritual gifts that He gives us to glorify Him. God has allowed for me to have cancer, and I pray that I'm glorifying Him as I weather this storm. God allows everything for our good (Romans 8:28) ultimately, and I believe God gives us the gift of humor as being no different. It may all sound like one big Hallmark card, but I believe there is a joy, a gift - if you will, that occurs when the Christ in me recognizes the Christ in you. And in this exchange, we can sense an ever present help in trouble as Christ promises us (Psalm 46:1). It's as if God reaches His hand down, gives you a breath of hope in the form of a smile and pulls you out of the pit Himself. Finding this joy, this hope, in the midst of suffering is a blessing and is an evidence of trusting God Himself. Easy? No. But God loves you more than life itself, and loves you enough to give you the gift of Himself. I see gifts from Him in so many ways, and have lately seen it in the form of friends and just laughing.
Tomorrow I head back to the hospital for a full day. I start physical therapy at 8am, then I have an oncology appointment at 11am, then blood tests again, and then depending on the results of the test I may have treatment tomorrow afternoon. I haven't had any cancer fighting drugs since Friday January 11th, my liver has not been able to handle it. The oncologist took me off of the drugs to let my liver enzymes decline back to normal levels, and he expects by tomorrow that I should be able to endure the treatment regimen again. It's been kind of nice to have my appetite restored, to get out of the house, and to just get outside and enjoy the day. But starting the drugs over again will mean the return of harsh fevers, aches/pains, nausea, and the potential of liver problems again. The nights are usually worse than the days, so I will need to brace myself for some long nights. My sorority little sister, Courtney, has come to stay with me this week to take care of me. In college, you certainly never expect for your sorority sisters to ever have to come take care of you while you have cancer.....at age 30. However, I'm truly blessed.
I certainly am not perfect at weathering this all the time, I'm not sure any of us know anyone that is. There are some days when being strong is just hard, and I realize I'm doing it more in my strength than His - which is why it gets hard. There are days when I just need someone else to come alongside of me to be stronger because I feel so weak spiritually and emotionally. Being physically weak is not as tough, often when I'm most physically weak I find myself most dependent on Christ. I suppose that's how it is supposed to be though! There are days when I wish I could just go for a run, go skiing, go horseback riding, go surfing, or do something outdoors probably because I spend so much time within the walls of a hospital and/or my own room. However, I pray that the time I have been given to just rest in Him is not wasted. I pray I'm using it for His glory, even if it is resting and/or seeking Him in the privacy of my own room.
I'm often amazed at the examples of God's kindness in the bible, and He continues to be the same God of kindness today.
He gives his king great victories; he shows unfailing kindness to his anointed, to David and his descendants forever. - 2 Samuel 22:51, IV
....God's kindness leads you toward repentance. - Romans 2:4, NIVb
Jesus is my magnificent obsession, and is my everything. I am so thankful for His kindness evidenced through friends, and through the joy and humor they bring to my life. God's grace has been overflowing from my cup. Tomorrow will bring more needles, and undoubtedly my prognosis has declined due to not being able to complete the full course of treatment, I ultimately can have faith that my God is so much bigger than any statistics or prognosis we (as finite human beings) can think up. He decides how many days we get, and how many breaths we take. For that, I am thankful, and so blessed by His kindness.
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