It has been an eventful few days! First, the good news: My PET/CT scans came back clear! Praise THE Lord!!! This means the cancer has NOT metastasized to major organs in my body (liver, lungs, brain, etc.), which means my diagnosis will NOT be re-staged as a stage 4 case. So, stage 3 is now my official stage - basically, that means the cancer is not poised to get any worse as of right now. This is extremely great news! The chances of me living through this whole ordeal has dramatically increased. There is a very, very small chance that microscopic cancer cells have been transmitted out of my transitory lymph nodes (small nodes attached to your lymph nodes) and can attach to major organs in weeks to come, but I will be having more PET/CT scans as treatment continues to monitor the situation. But basically this means it is all under the immediate eye of the doctors, so cancer has a very small chance of progressing any further.
Next step is an extensive surgery on November 9th at 11 am to remove all my lymph nodes at the cancer site (upper left arm). As it as explained to me, there is a "bird nest" sized clump of tissue in your arm pit that holds a number of lymph nodes. The oncological surgeon will go in during the lymph node dissection surgery and remove the ENTIRE clump of tissue with lymph nodes. They will send the clump of lymph nodes off to a lab where they will pour some kind of dye on it and pick out the lymph nodes, and test each one for cancer. They could end up removing up to 25 lymph nodes, but we won't know until after surgery. I won't receive the results (aka pathology report) from the surgery for about 7-10 days. The surgery takes about 90 minutes to 2 hours, and I will be completely under general anesthesia with a breathing tube to help me breathe throughout the surgery. I'll be stuck at home for a while, and my sweet friends here in DC have put together a meal registry for me to make sure I have meals (since I won't be going anywhere!). I truly feel SO blessed by their willingness to serve me in this way! I can't even begin to describe the blessings by many - family, friends, co-workers.....God's hands of kindness have literally come down in the form of so many around me, it truly has me humbled beyond words and feeling so undeserving of such special treatment. I know it isn't because of me, but because of who He is.
I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. - Philemon 1:6, NIV
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:19, NIV
I still have a long road ahead, and I'm aware of this. About 6 weeks after my next surgery, I will be starting high dose Interferon as the immunotherapy phase of my treatment. My oncologist recommended the one year, high dose option even though it is very strong with extremely intense side effects - it would only be for one year. The worst part is the first four weeks, in which I have to go to the Infusion Center at the Cancer Institute everyday for four weeks straight for rounds of injections and each round of injections takes 2-3 hours to administer. I guess you could say I'm not looking forward to it, that's a lot of time at the hospital and majorly cuts into my life in general. The side effects are "flu-like" symptoms, although most patients have told me its really flu-like symptoms times 10. So we're looking at a mix of fevers, chills, weakness, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, night sweats, and unfortunately, depression. I'm actually kind of nervous about starting Interferon injections, some patients seem to say they actually prefer chemotherapy (and I might be right there with them - losing my hair sounds less painful compared to the list of side effects from Interferon!). However, I will fortunately not have to face chemo now that my final stage has stopped at stage 3. After the first four weeks of high dose Interferon, they will cut the dose in half and then I'll have injections only three times per week for the next 11 months (I think....my mind kind of went blurry after the whole "four week" explanation, digesting all that at once is a lot).
There will be days treatment will be awful, I'm sure I'll have emotional days and "healthy" days. And I still desperately need prayers to get through it all. I sometimes get a little scared my friends/family will "forget" about me once I start trying to return to "normal life" and I'm reminded of my desperate need for God and His comfort. He is what satisfies the soul, there is NO substitute for Jesus.
In some ways it is still all kind of surreal, only five weeks ago and none of this was even close to being on my radar. You really do never know what tomorrow may bring. I find myself complaining a lot less, trying to laugh a lot more, cherishing the people who have made the effort to walk with me and pray for me through this (believe me, I read every email, every card, and every FB post - I'm often moved to tears by the kindness from people), making more time to get with God - He is my lifeline, trying to eat healthier, enjoy simple joys a little more, make less of a deal out of everyday life annoyances, and just embrace the life God has for me. I notice myself giving more grace, making more time for phone calls instead of text messages or email, getting excited about new pajamas (hey, small, but when you are in them a lot after surgery, it's a great blessing!), praying for others a lot more, thanking God a lot more, and less afraid to talk to others about Jesus. In short, its probably very similar to how I feel when I come home from the mission field - maybe because it's all the same mission. Love God. And we can't truly love God without loving people. Everything else just seems so much smaller.
Next step is an extensive surgery on November 9th at 11 am to remove all my lymph nodes at the cancer site (upper left arm). As it as explained to me, there is a "bird nest" sized clump of tissue in your arm pit that holds a number of lymph nodes. The oncological surgeon will go in during the lymph node dissection surgery and remove the ENTIRE clump of tissue with lymph nodes. They will send the clump of lymph nodes off to a lab where they will pour some kind of dye on it and pick out the lymph nodes, and test each one for cancer. They could end up removing up to 25 lymph nodes, but we won't know until after surgery. I won't receive the results (aka pathology report) from the surgery for about 7-10 days. The surgery takes about 90 minutes to 2 hours, and I will be completely under general anesthesia with a breathing tube to help me breathe throughout the surgery. I'll be stuck at home for a while, and my sweet friends here in DC have put together a meal registry for me to make sure I have meals (since I won't be going anywhere!). I truly feel SO blessed by their willingness to serve me in this way! I can't even begin to describe the blessings by many - family, friends, co-workers.....God's hands of kindness have literally come down in the form of so many around me, it truly has me humbled beyond words and feeling so undeserving of such special treatment. I know it isn't because of me, but because of who He is.
I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. - Philemon 1:6, NIV
And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:19, NIV
I still have a long road ahead, and I'm aware of this. About 6 weeks after my next surgery, I will be starting high dose Interferon as the immunotherapy phase of my treatment. My oncologist recommended the one year, high dose option even though it is very strong with extremely intense side effects - it would only be for one year. The worst part is the first four weeks, in which I have to go to the Infusion Center at the Cancer Institute everyday for four weeks straight for rounds of injections and each round of injections takes 2-3 hours to administer. I guess you could say I'm not looking forward to it, that's a lot of time at the hospital and majorly cuts into my life in general. The side effects are "flu-like" symptoms, although most patients have told me its really flu-like symptoms times 10. So we're looking at a mix of fevers, chills, weakness, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, night sweats, and unfortunately, depression. I'm actually kind of nervous about starting Interferon injections, some patients seem to say they actually prefer chemotherapy (and I might be right there with them - losing my hair sounds less painful compared to the list of side effects from Interferon!). However, I will fortunately not have to face chemo now that my final stage has stopped at stage 3. After the first four weeks of high dose Interferon, they will cut the dose in half and then I'll have injections only three times per week for the next 11 months (I think....my mind kind of went blurry after the whole "four week" explanation, digesting all that at once is a lot).
There will be days treatment will be awful, I'm sure I'll have emotional days and "healthy" days. And I still desperately need prayers to get through it all. I sometimes get a little scared my friends/family will "forget" about me once I start trying to return to "normal life" and I'm reminded of my desperate need for God and His comfort. He is what satisfies the soul, there is NO substitute for Jesus.
In some ways it is still all kind of surreal, only five weeks ago and none of this was even close to being on my radar. You really do never know what tomorrow may bring. I find myself complaining a lot less, trying to laugh a lot more, cherishing the people who have made the effort to walk with me and pray for me through this (believe me, I read every email, every card, and every FB post - I'm often moved to tears by the kindness from people), making more time to get with God - He is my lifeline, trying to eat healthier, enjoy simple joys a little more, make less of a deal out of everyday life annoyances, and just embrace the life God has for me. I notice myself giving more grace, making more time for phone calls instead of text messages or email, getting excited about new pajamas (hey, small, but when you are in them a lot after surgery, it's a great blessing!), praying for others a lot more, thanking God a lot more, and less afraid to talk to others about Jesus. In short, its probably very similar to how I feel when I come home from the mission field - maybe because it's all the same mission. Love God. And we can't truly love God without loving people. Everything else just seems so much smaller.
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