Pic-Lines, Ports, & IVs

"Uh, I need wheelchair service....." That's right.  Over the Thanksgiving holiday I traveled to Houston, Texas to be with family and it was recommended that I utilize the wheelchair service at the airport to avoid putting added stress on the sensitive area around the incision - and to avoid the frustration of having to lift my own bags which could strain the surgical area also.  Talk about a humbling experience.  First of all, I'd like to say that I'm perfectly capable of walking - though maybe not super quickly, as I hadn't been given doctor's approval yet.  However, this was viewed as the easiest way to get me from point A to point B without putting too much strain on my system post-surgery.  I sat in the chair with wheels, and was wheeled around.  First noticeable bonus, you don't have to wait in the TSA line!  However, the guy wanted me to raise my arms and I couldn't.  The left side of my body still has underdeveloped muscles which were cut during surgery, along with my sensory nerve and it hasn't rehabilitated yet.  

I got to the other side and the guy from wheelchair service helped me put on my shoes.  I was so hungry!  However, I didn't want to be a burden by asking him to stop at a food place so I could get something to eat so I let him wheel me to the gate where I waited to board the plane.  My friend Tamara told me, "Stop it. If you're in a wheelchair you obviously need help."  She was right, and it was my people pleasing tendencies that stood between me and getting a meal.  I began to feel like I needed to explain myself to everyone (though I didn't), that I wasn't just lazy and trying to get around easily.  Then I saw everything through the eyes of someone who really has to depend on a wheelchair for their permanent mobility, such a compassionate experience.  Everything was different.  A man named Israel Williams was the guy who was pushing my wheelchair around when I got to Atlanta airport (where I was connecting) and he loved Jesus!  I did explain to him about my medical situation, and he said he'd pray for me.  He told me about his family in Florida, and asked about my church.  At first he was starting to share Jesus with me, telling me God had a plan for my life!  It was awesome!  I told him I agreed, and God has a plan for him too!  Israel DID take me to get some food, and then wheeled me to the next gate where I waited to board for Houston.  If you remember him, say a prayer for him - he was especially kind and so caring, he truly had the joy of the Lord in him.

Thanksgiving went well, and was able to visit family and friends, and eat a great meal compliments of the talented ladies in my family.  On Friday night, I began running a fever which seemed to go away after taking a couple Advil.

I had my first day back at work today, which went well!  Everyone was great, and asked how I was feeling just to be sure I was feeling ok.  It was actually a pretty productive day, praise the Lord, and was happy to help keep work moving along for the team.  At lunch time, I went to the hospital for my surgical follow-up appointment.  I managed to read the entire current issue of the magazine, Coping With Cancer while I was waiting.  (I'm not sure who Mary Murphy is from So You Think You Can Dance but apparently she is coping with thyroid cancer, as she was the cover feature)  The article titled, "When Treatment Ends" was actually really helpful and assisted me in adjusting expectations I have of myself (and helped exposed some sinful areas - as in, my expectations of myself to meet everyone else's expectations thus trying to ultimately please people instead of God Himself).  The surgeon came in and looked at everything, said there was some fluid build up under the incision but not enough to do anything about it yet.  She discussed the procedures of installing a pic-line (kind of like a long term IV), a meda-port, and regular IVs as a way for me to receive the drugs I'm set to get during treatment.

There are a few different types of Interferon from what I understand, and I'll be receiving what they call Intron A, or high dose Interferon.  As of right now, I'll be receiving it through a regular IV for 3-4 hours each day for four weeks beginning January 7.  If my veins get complicated, then there is a possibility I will undergo another surgery to install a meda-port in my chest - which would be a temporary hold/valve sort of under the skin, but exposed, to administer the Intron A drugs.  Last surgery, the nurse accidentally blew out three of my veins (which are still bruised as I write this), so we can pray that the IVs go in smoothly and easily.  I recognize that in the month of January, my veins will be poked for administering IV drugs 28 times.  These are scary odds, as when your vein blows out, it gets black and blue and VERY swollen.  But I SO do not want another surgery.  Also, the surgeon did clear me to begin small scale exercise, which was great!  Long walks or light jogs, anyone?!

To help keep my focus on Christ during this time, I decided to choose three verses and a hymn to write on the mirror in my bathroom.  So I chose these:

...give thanks in ALL circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. - 1 Thessalonians 5:18, NIV (emphasis added mine)

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. - Colossians 3:12, NIV

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. - Philippians 4:11-12, NIV

And Lord hast the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
-- Horatio Spafford, hymn "It Is Well With My Soul"

I was explaining to someone recently that it's like God is my focus, and everything else that happens is on the sidelines.  But I cannot for one minute take my sight off of my King.  If I take my eyes off of Him, I'm tempted to focus on my own suffering which can lead me down a number of rabbit trails of frustration and self-pity.  Even if I take my eyes of my King to embrace the praise of others, I'm putting my pride in myself and not faith in His own power.  So, I choose to never leave His arms.  To stare adoringly up at my Father, and let His comfort wash over me.  I truly feel if I have the Lord, I have everything I could ever need.  That doesn't mean I don't have desires, but my desires are submitted unto the Lord.  If those desires take me away from Christ, then they are not desires given by Christ.

As a side note, perhaps y'all can help me with something.  I received these flowers (pictured below) from the sweet Armstrong family (said they are family friends of Lacy), and I do not have a way to thank them.  The card that came with them didn't have a return address.... so if this reaches them, THANK YOU!!  Or if you know them, please send my deepest thanks!!  These beautiful flowers absolutely brightened my week and are currently bringing joy and cheer to my apartment!  I love them, and I'm in awe of God's kindness by sending them through such a compassionate spirit.  It's such a sweet gift and a reminder of God's care for me.  Such a blessing!!

Again, I'm just so grateful for God's provision and His unfailing kindness.  I often find myself waking up in the middle of the night (partially from pain) and I reach for God's word and let my Father ease me back into a peaceful sleep.  His word quenches my soul, and at times I don't want to fall asleep because the story in God's word just gets better and better for us - for you, for me, for all of us.  Anyhow, thank you so much for your prayers!