I'm sure every young professional in Washington, DC likes to get signed up for a lymph node dissection on a Friday night, right?! You snuggle into the awesome hospital gown with some kind of mint green print on it, a baby blue shower cap looking thing, and these stylish brown socks with treads on them. This is my attempt to be lighthearted, haha, as Friday is the day I go in to have all my lymph nodes removed at the cancer site. I'm sure I've explained this surgery half a dozen times to y'all, so I'll spare you from another one. Long story short, they are removing all my lymph nodes and testing each one for cancer. I have no idea how many they will end up removing, but we'll find all of that out when we receive the pathology report 7-10 days after surgery.
I met with the oncological surgeon on Monday to get the remainder of my sutures out and discuss any questions I had ahead of surgery. She gave me some slightly discouraging news: basically, we don't know with 100% certainty that the cancer has not reached my lungs (or liver, for that matter). For malignant melanoma, the first major organ it usually spreads to is the lungs (or liver, or both), then it goes to bones, and then brain. The PET/CT scan that came back clear tells us that there is no cancer in my major organs that is 7mm and above. So, there is a possibility that cancer is in, or traveling to, my lungs. The surgeon said a 7mm tumor in your lungs is considered modest, so it wouldn't impact my breathing and I wouldn't be coughing at that level. She said they can't just biopsy a person's lungs on a whim since they are not easily accessible with a punch biopsy (what I had originally that told me I had cancer) or a needle aspiration test. They basically have to wait (yes, I said wait, again) for a tumor to develop to a 7mm proportion and then remove it via chemotherapy - at least from what I understand. However, she said I will be having more PET/CTs in coming weeks and months to heavily monitor my organs for any spreading of cancer.
The kind of cancer I have is kind of like stirring up a bee-hive (I know I've used that analogy before, but bear with me), once you make it mad by messing with it, it then scatters and travels in small pieces. So since the cancer was already in my lymph nodes with a sizable 3mm piece of cancer, we aren't sure just wear it has floated or for how long. You see, for malignant melanoma, a tumor that is 3mm or 4.5mm (my original tumor size), is considered rather large and thick. But for lung cancers, 7mm is considered rather modest. If they find anything around 7mm in my lungs, removing it should be fairly feasible. For those of you that don't know the stages of malignant melanoma cancer, it goes like this:
Stage 0 - melanoma is in the epidermis, but not lower layer
Stage 1 - cancerous tumor is 1.0mm or less
Stage 2 - cancerous tumor is between 2.01mm and 4.0mm and ulcerated (has blood vessels going through the tumor) OR cancerous tumor is larger than 4.0mm but not ulcerated
Stage 3 - cancerous cells have been found in lymph nodes
Stage 4 - cancerous cells have been found in other organs
Stage 5 - death
Anyhow, I hope that helps folks understand a little better where I'm at, and hopefully they can understand better if they meet someone with cancer also. This past Monday night, I got together for dinner with my friend Julie. I recently met Julie at a cancer support group I went to, and her attitude is amazing. She is so encouraging, and is truly a young woman who is conquering loads of obstacles and living life to the fullest she can. Julie just finished her second battle with acute leukemia at age 26. She is one of those very rare ladies that even with close-to-no-hair, she looks absolutely drop dead gorgeous! (Relax guys, she's newly married!) I'm so thankful God has placed Julie in my life, and she has reminded me to not try and be superwoman but to take the time I need to rest. I may need accountability in this area!
As mostly everyone in the world knows, we had an election here in Washington, DC this week. It was actually a nice distraction from thinking about cancer. I went to a few election night gatherings with friends, all the while knowing God is completely in control of the outcome. Here is a pic from the day I voted - let freedom ring!
I met with the oncological surgeon on Monday to get the remainder of my sutures out and discuss any questions I had ahead of surgery. She gave me some slightly discouraging news: basically, we don't know with 100% certainty that the cancer has not reached my lungs (or liver, for that matter). For malignant melanoma, the first major organ it usually spreads to is the lungs (or liver, or both), then it goes to bones, and then brain. The PET/CT scan that came back clear tells us that there is no cancer in my major organs that is 7mm and above. So, there is a possibility that cancer is in, or traveling to, my lungs. The surgeon said a 7mm tumor in your lungs is considered modest, so it wouldn't impact my breathing and I wouldn't be coughing at that level. She said they can't just biopsy a person's lungs on a whim since they are not easily accessible with a punch biopsy (what I had originally that told me I had cancer) or a needle aspiration test. They basically have to wait (yes, I said wait, again) for a tumor to develop to a 7mm proportion and then remove it via chemotherapy - at least from what I understand. However, she said I will be having more PET/CTs in coming weeks and months to heavily monitor my organs for any spreading of cancer.
The kind of cancer I have is kind of like stirring up a bee-hive (I know I've used that analogy before, but bear with me), once you make it mad by messing with it, it then scatters and travels in small pieces. So since the cancer was already in my lymph nodes with a sizable 3mm piece of cancer, we aren't sure just wear it has floated or for how long. You see, for malignant melanoma, a tumor that is 3mm or 4.5mm (my original tumor size), is considered rather large and thick. But for lung cancers, 7mm is considered rather modest. If they find anything around 7mm in my lungs, removing it should be fairly feasible. For those of you that don't know the stages of malignant melanoma cancer, it goes like this:
Stage 0 - melanoma is in the epidermis, but not lower layer
Stage 1 - cancerous tumor is 1.0mm or less
Stage 2 - cancerous tumor is between 2.01mm and 4.0mm and ulcerated (has blood vessels going through the tumor) OR cancerous tumor is larger than 4.0mm but not ulcerated
Stage 3 - cancerous cells have been found in lymph nodes
Stage 4 - cancerous cells have been found in other organs
Stage 5 - death
Anyhow, I hope that helps folks understand a little better where I'm at, and hopefully they can understand better if they meet someone with cancer also. This past Monday night, I got together for dinner with my friend Julie. I recently met Julie at a cancer support group I went to, and her attitude is amazing. She is so encouraging, and is truly a young woman who is conquering loads of obstacles and living life to the fullest she can. Julie just finished her second battle with acute leukemia at age 26. She is one of those very rare ladies that even with close-to-no-hair, she looks absolutely drop dead gorgeous! (Relax guys, she's newly married!) I'm so thankful God has placed Julie in my life, and she has reminded me to not try and be superwoman but to take the time I need to rest. I may need accountability in this area!
As mostly everyone in the world knows, we had an election here in Washington, DC this week. It was actually a nice distraction from thinking about cancer. I went to a few election night gatherings with friends, all the while knowing God is completely in control of the outcome. Here is a pic from the day I voted - let freedom ring!
Often times the city life drives me bonkers (I long for the day when I can drive to a Target and open the car doors on BOTH sides of the vehicle without hitting the car in the next space), and it can get tiresome, but on a cold crisp night with all the anticipation from everyone looming in the air - it was a memorable night. Each election is a piece of history, and each one reminds us that God is in control and He is our one true King. I don't take one minute for granted, just want to appreciate and love each person in my life while I can. Someone asked me if I was nervous or scared about having cancer on election night, I thought about that and I noticed that I really wasn't. Truth is, I'm sure I'll be ok eventually, but as any cancer patient, you do have think about worst case scenarios at times. I'm not afraid of losing my life, I'm not afraid of dying, and maybe it took me having cancer to realize that but I'm surprisingly peaceful. A peace that only comes from Jesus Christ Himself. Of course, I do have my moments of what ifs and fears, as anyone would. But I've truly realized that my life belongs to God, not me. He decides what is done, and He knows better than me!
For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. - Matthew 16:25, NIV
I truly believe I've been blessed to find my life in Christ. I've lost my life in Him, I've given it to Him completely, and I don't want it back. In this giving up my own life for Jesus, I believe it is there that I have found ultimate freedom and true love. And the good news is, you can have that too. Just ask Jesus Himself for the freedom you've always wanted and the love your heart aches to have - nothing can fulfill it the way Christ does, I promise you that. I had spent my life filling my heart with just about everything but Jesus Christ and trust me, nothing else satisfies like Jesus. We're made to be satisfied in Christ. We're made to worship something, and my prayer is that we worship our King, Jesus, and not ourselves or anything else in our lives. I would give my own life for you - and everyone - to know that and to live like it, but Jesus already has done that.
Anyhow, I'm beyond grateful for your prayers, and please know that I pray for you - who has committed to walking through this journey with me. I pray your days are sweet and blessed with intimate hugs from God Himself. I pray your heart is moved beyond speakable words for God's glory this week. I pray that while I'm in surgery this Friday, that God would draw your heart closer to His and break down any walls that may be keeping you from Him. If I had to have one last breath, I would want to use it to pray for you to know His love. He loves you, and He is so faithful, and so incredibly good.
No comments:
Post a Comment