I'm not kidding. You must be as shocked as I was when I realized I was going to such a gorgeous place as a Hawaii, haha! I can't make this stuff up. Seriously, God is just THAT good. God is more than good, He is blows our socks off!
For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. - Psalm 84:11, NIV
The LORD is good to all; He has compassion on ALL He has made....He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him, He hears their cry and saves them. - Psalm 145:9, 18, NIV
A friend of mine from church happens to be in Hawaii this week with a group of friends, and invited me to come out to Hawaii as a getaway to relax and do something else besides be a cancer patient for a few days. I really thought this not going to happen at all. I thought, "well that's a nice gesture and thought, but there is no way I can get out there." My strength waivers at times, but then I remembered the word "relax" that was mentioned. Well, God doing what He does, He paves the way. My hotel was taken care of (at quite a fabulous hotel I might add), my Dad generously took care of the flight, and when I asked my employer, the response was, "It's absolutely ok [if you go]!" I was flabbergasted. My face lit up! This is really happening! I'm REALLY going to Hawaii!!! My heart leaped and turned immediately to thank such a generous Father we serve. He truly, truly withholds NO good thing from those He loves!
I truly don't deserve this trip, in all honesty I deserve the wrath of God for being a sinner - as we all do - but God in is utter kindness, grace, and mercy decides to bless me with a way to relax in awe of His beauty. He loves to show off to us, and gosh, am I seriously so blessed to receive His grace! What an incredible God! Now, for those who know me, know that I DO absolutely LOVE to surf, haha! But, while I *may* not exactly be able to surf this time around (taking my surf stuff just in case!) it will be beyond wonderful to just hear His voice in the midst of His glorious riches and beauty surrounding me in a place He made such as Hawaii. I'll be in this little slice of amazing paradise, that oozes God's glory from Friday (Nov 30) to Wednesday (Dec 5). Below is a pic of me surfing at Waikiki Beach from my last time in Hawaii - June 2008:
What a timely gift, I was just struggling with trying to sleep and relax following my last surgery. No joke, I went out and bought lavender everything (lavender is supposed to help you sleep) and a sound therapy machine (my favorite sound is 'ocean') before having to turn to more drugs as a sleep aid. On Tuesday, I had to go visit my primary care physician regarding the sleep issues and possible thyroid problems. I was sitting there on the exam table when she walked in, looked at me and said, "Oh Kristina, you have been through so much since I saw you last." Keep in mind, this is the doctor who diagnosed me with cancer on September 25th via phone call and who ordered my original biopsy. I hadn't really thought about having "been through so much" and maybe she is right, but I know not an ounce of it has been wasted. God is redeeming all of it, and using it for His purpose. I smiled and said, "I just have such a fun time here, I had to come back!" She laughed and we got on with the appointment. She ordered bloodwork to check my thyroid, and a flu shot before I left the office.
The nurse came in to give me the flu shot, and it was the same nurse who held my hand in the original biopsy (you could say a little comfort was needed while watching a chunk of your arm cut out and put in a test tube - plus, I'm a hand holder!). She asked me how I was, and I explained to her that the biopsy from that fateful day came back as cancer. She didn't know. It's interesting to me, the life of nurses - they care for us tirelessly, and most of the ones I know work a lot even at tough hours, and some do not even learn the outcome of us patients. She was shocked when I told her, and she asked, "so can they fix it?" I told her, "well, they are trying!" She was very kind, gave me the flu shot - which hurt less than an ant bite in comparison to some of the injections I've been getting lately!
I left that day with a fighter's attitude, thinking of how I want to celebrate the death of cancer with my friends and family. But while I intend to fight cancer with everything God has given me, I'm reminded that I truly trust God with the outcome of my life....it's His after all, I've given Him my life anyway. People will often say someone lost their battle with cancer, but I don't believe this. For a follower of Jesus Christ, we never lose battles with cancer, we can only win. Death does not win, even when cancer takes over the body. The day we meet Jesus face to face is to be celebrated! Now I know its incredibly challenging to keep an eternal perspective when someone you love or care about it dealing with cancer, I get it, I even have my own moments of fear. But the fear runs away when I realize this life is but a vapor, a small chunk of time compared to the eternity we will spend with our King. I believe it's ok to ask God for a positive sudden change of events or circumstances, just as long we do not resent Him if He chooses not to comply with our request. He is more than trustworthy with our very lives, He loves you and me!
Well, I better finish packing my suitcase, and make sure I take plenty of sunscreen. Please pray that I stay healthy on the trip, and for God to refresh my body and spirit for His glory. Pray that I can be recharged especially before the Christmas holiday and before beginning intense treatment on January 7. It's still so surreal.....I'm going to Hawaii!!! Pray that I am a good steward of the gifts God has given me, especially this trip and that He is glorified. Y'all will be there with me in spirit, and so grateful for every prayer lifted on my behalf - praying for all of you, and for God to lift your hearts!
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